personal space-help

[neva_black_n_white]

hey everyone

when has pesonal space been invaded too much?

 

when trying to explain whats my personal space to others they seem to feel i am over exagerating the element.

my friends and family are worried about me and i can understand this to an extent.

however why is it that people feel they are allowed to look through my documents, read my files and check each post/ email.

in a way i think im doing thuis as a final hint. and to say im not stressed because of the things that are happening around me but not being able to have my personal space.

 

does anyone else have this problem where people take it too far?

 

how do we get people to understand that personal space is exactly that your own personal space!

 

anyone got any ideas?

there is a larger problem behind this but i guess i just wanted to see what others thought.

thanks.

kel

[The Morrigan]

Well, part of the problem is some people are more comfortable than others with less space, and they have a hard time understanding where people that REALLY need their space are coming from (I'm one of those that needs my space BADLY).

 

However, some things should be private - period. What you write to someone else is and should be nobody else's business. That's also a matter of simple respect and trust. Unless you've REALLY done something to destroy that trust, nobody should be checking on you to the extent you feel like someone's watching your every move. My mom read my diary once when she thought I might be drinking (I wasn't) and she'd never even bothered to ASK me about it; I was absolutely enraged and incredibly hurt when I found out what she'd done.

 

The problem as I see it is that getting TOO invasive actually accomplishes the opposite of being able to check up on someone - because they'll just get more and more introverted, and less trusting of motives since it's being made apparent the trust isn't being given. You have to trust someone to receive it in return, and going through someone's private matters is not a sign of trust, lol.

 

Is it mainly personal stuff that's being gone through, or is it also space per se, like needing time AWAY from people and that not being understood or respected?

[neva_black_n_white]

hey and thanks for what you put morrigan.

i would deffinatley say that i am not respected as to the extent i have to prove things more and more, at the moment with my friends and family seem to feel i have a problem with my eating and feel its a disorder, i could explain several times that this is unlikely as i am perfectly fine. i mean why cant u just be small like i am.

 

everything to them seems to be helping but it isnt.

 

i used to feel that people could come into any personal area of mine and be trusted i never lie about where i keep things and because of that i would feel that they had no reason to invade.

 

i always allowed people to know where my things were in the respect of them being trusted. instead they violate this, hack into my accounts, read my letters and enter into things that are not required.

 

you woulod think that a person as close as your family understand you for you instead they dont they just ignore what you tel them and try to prove something wrong, when its not even there.

 

and thanks morrigan i know how you can rekate, and i honeslty thought this wasnt happening to me. i would go into detail but its stresses me out and i talk for ages. lol.

kel xx

[Nifty_Swifty1]

Well, I'm not shore how old you are, but if you're not 18 you belong to your parents, and you have no personal space. They have the right to do whatever it takes to make shore that you are ok, and if that means going through your thing on occasion then so be it. Whey I was at home my dad had a weekly search of my "personal space." I hated it when I was at home, but now that I'm a little older I realize that it was his right as my parent to know what I was up to. Now that I'm out of the house he no longer has that right. Until you're 18 your butt belongs to your parents.

 

Now if you're older than that, then stand up for yourself babe. If you have to offend people, then so be it.

[neva_black_n_white]

hey nifty_swifty1,

i would have to say that i agree with you and i do have to stick up for myself but thats what im saying i am doing that but by doing it and deffending my court so much they feel that im lying.

 

and on a personal opinion note i dont think it matters what age you are, your personal space is your personal space, and well ive always been close to my parents and my friends thats what is making it so decieving.

 

i am thankful of your advice and everything. but i do disagree and would state for anyone of any age your personal space is allowed to be yours. dont allow people go through your stuff, i tried not to and it hurt me alot when it happened so truelly i feel that at anyone age, status or reason it should be discussed not done in a secretive and possesive way.

 

i would like to hope that everyone was given a chance to have there own place, decisons and personal items without the thought of it being distroyed by someone else.

 

i will take your advice and argue my point and stand up for my self etc. but i would of thought you sided for those any age since you need it as much as what you said. this isnt meant to be offensive just an opinion and wondering possibly not truly understanding how you can group one age or person from another. (i have strong beliefs on these things and possibly over taken what you put in that case sorry but if not its my opinion).

kel

[The Morrigan]

I think some things, like personal letters, journals, diaries, notes should be private unless there's a truly OVERRIDING reason to violate it. It's one thing if you have real reason to suspect your child is getting into something dangerous, or doing something detrimental to their health, but another to allow absolutely no sense of privacy in their personal life. There's monitoring, and then there's overkill. That's just my opinion at least