I love him, but...

[EmptySoul]

Hello. A few weeks ago I broke up with the only guy I've ever loved. I refused to go out with anyone besides him, but I did get a friends with benefits guy. I made out with the FWB, then broke it off because I didn't really like him anymore. I've been leaning pretty close to going back out with my ex, because we still love each other. Well, tonight, I made out with my ex. It was the same as always, except it felt like I was just going through the motions and I wasn't really having fun like I usually did. I love him to death, but now... I don't want to go back out with him all of a sudden and I didn't really want him touching me. I thought maybe it was just a mood, but it doesn't feel like it. It's not because I like someone else, because I dont. What's up with me???

EmptySoul

[Mar]

I would have to say that you broke up with him for a very good reason, and that reason has stuck with you through the "comfort" you thought you'd find in the familiarity of your ex. There's nothing wrong with this-in fact, it's a GOOD thing....kind of a precursor to any thoughts you might have had to getting back together with him. At least now you know your love for him is the affection based on friendship, or just the person he is, as opposed to the attraction you once felt. It's not wrong, it's not bad, it's not meant to cause guilt. It's simply a statement coming from within you that that chapter of your life is closed, at least for now, and that you might want to consider moving on and finding someone new, or just spending time with yourself, your friends and family, etc.

 

 

 

Mar

[bdub]

EmptySoul,

 

Maybe what is keeping you from enjoying kissing him like you used to is all the baggage that has happened since then. I think there are two honorable roads you could follow here. First, talk with him about the reasons you broke up. If you love him, but there are issues that need to be worked on, then try working on them if you are both willing. Second, you might need to figure out what YOU want first.

 

Whatever you do, make sure you don't jump back into something that you don't really want. In the end you will hurt him and yourself more.

 

Best Wishes,

bdub