..Guys are Confusing Please help

[JanieMarie23]

...4 months ago my boyfriend of 1 year broke up with me... He said it was because he had to concentrate on school...but that has been a lie because he's been hanging out with his friends more so than studying...( not that he needs to he's very smart) But when we did break up we still fooled around. We loved one another still but just didn't have a relationship to hold us back from seeing other people. I didn't think other people would come into the picture but alas they did. He went with another girl to his dance and asked another one out. Both of them didn't really like him much. or so I'm told. So he still turns to me...and I haven't found anyone else...because I dont' want anyone else.. I think he has lost every bit of interest in me...except for pure physical attraction...because when we are together we almost always end up kissing one another..Some days he is absolutely sweet to me...others it seems he tries to dodge talking to me... I hate that feeling...because for a person that I used to talk to everyday...and suddenly he doesn't feel that love...I don't know what I did wrong... I'd like to know what might be going on in his head...but I don't want to ask... if anyone could help that would be great... please take into consideration I still love him...

[dfcannon]

Okay, here's a guy point of view. It's a shame that he has made this far more difficult for you by remaining physically intimate to satisfy his own selfish needs, on his terms when he wants to take the time. After all, at one time you had a real relationship. But that's what you have now. You are falling into the weak, victim trap here, and he's all too willing to take what you are willing to give him, while giving no thought to giving back to you what you really need. He's kinda a jerk. I know you still have feelings for him, but when you think of ideal man, is this the kind of man you have in mind?? He's in control, and he knows it. That about sums it up from his point of view.

 

You've done NOTHING wrong, except the "fault" of not protecting your own feelings and putting him behind you. You should not second-guess the possible "mistakes" you made to "lose" him. He has been lying to you, but here's what I see in all this:

 

You are not confused about men at all. You understand him completely. You have spelled out his motives and behavior very well. What does seem to confuse you, maybe, is why you're still in love with a guy who would treat you this way. That's a good question, I think. You might want to explore that one so that you can end this cycle of hurt you find yourself in.

 

I hope this helps. You really need to find a better guy, I think!

[russia]

your guy isn't completely a jerk, yet. cos it takes 2 hands to clap. if you want to get physical with a guy who has no intention of going mental with you, that's your prerogative. for all we know, you're just playing with him while you're getting ready for the next guy.

 

having had him before, your standards are higher, and won't settle for the kids around your age. as you can see, they are still way too immature. want to have fun but no strings attached. so you might as well get some physical satisfaction from your ex

[ghettogirl]

I've been there before and it's not a pretty road to walk down. It hurts your ego and, after a while of it, you will feel used and it will hurt all future relationships you have with anyone else.

 

But, what you can get out of it is to draw the line and make the relationship platonic. Relationships of this type make really good platonic friendships. I know it sounds stupid but it just worked out like that for me ... it's as though they respect you more when you are able to draw the line and keep it platonic. No, you will not be as close as before but he will respect you and never lie to you again.

[Ugottabejokin]

Say "NO" just once to his physical advances...you will find out in a hurry what he wants from you.

 

If you are just a "friend w/benifits" then he will run. If he wants to be with you, he will change his ways.