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He said he's happier now that he's not in the relationship


jd21
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I spoke to my ex last night. He broke up with me about 3 weeks ago after going out for over 2 and a half years. He said we fought too much and it started not to be worth it. I called him to tell him that it was too painfult o be friends (he wants to still be friends and we tried that but I can't do it anymore). I still love him more than anything and I told him that and how I think I needed this time apart and I realize all the mistakes I made. He refuses to give it another chance and started getting mad as I was talking to him. He finally told me that he's happier now that he's not in the rleationship. How can he say that to me? How could I feel so strongly one way and him the other? I'm so depressed, does anyone have any advice?

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Hi JD21,

 

Thanks for sharing with us. I'm sorry your relationship didn't work out.

 

You should concentrate on the future and yourself. Being friends when you break up is very very hard to do, and your situation appears no different. You need to let him go.

 

He is pushing you away because he probably feels that you are reluctant to let go. You should be letting go as he has finally told you that the relatinoship is indeed over.

 

Keep yourself busy, and meet up with friends as much as possible. Keep positive and don't worry - you won't believe yourself and how great single life is !

 

Hope this helps you some,

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Hey JD21..

I know exactly how you feel. My ex broke up with me 2.5 months ago and she started dating someone a week after we broke up and still is dating him. For now I say don't do what I did in the past, like the first month of the break-up.That is to keep pressuring them to get back together, this will only push them further away. For now try to avoid contact with him and let him miss you. He can't miss you if you keep pestering him. If you really want to be back with your ex like I do , then just avoid contact for a couple of months and see what happens.I know it's tough but you have to try. After a couple of months of no contact he may start to really miss you and want to try and work things out. You have to let go of something in order to get iot back. I've always believed that if it's meant to be then it's meant to be and people get back with they're ex's.

Hope this helps,

I wish us both luck in this..

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Hey, I have been in the same EXACT situation(only it was almost 8 months ago). It is so hard when you have such strong feelings for him and he doesnt feel the same. A breakup is not an easy thing...it is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. What helped me is having no contact with him. (My ex also wanted to remain friends but I told him that I needed time and I would contact him when I was ready). It only hurt me worse when he would IM me or call me(just to talk as friends) b/c I still loved him and wanted to be more than just friends. Having no contact with your ex will help you reflect on what has happened and it will allow him the space he needs. Also, something else that helped me is journaling...I wrote down all of my feelings, how i missed him, loved him, etc. It helped alot to get these feeling out, but it also helps now when I look back and realize how much stronger I am now. Try to focus on yourself...do what makes YOU happy. Go out with friends, even if you dont want to, make yourself go b/c trust me, it is alot better than being at home by yourself thinking about him. Hang in there and stay strong...time will help..I promise! PM me if you need to talk more!

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Hey, I am in a similar situation too. So at least, you are NOT alone! I broke up with my ex about two months ago after a one and 1/2 yr. Being friends is hard, and not keeping in touch is hard too. I told him how I felt, and asked him' Is your life happier without me?' He said in a way, yes. coz I feel I have less responsibilities...... I do miss talking to u, and miss being with u...' So I guess men do want the attentions, but not the attachments. These days, I don't make any contact with him myself, but if he calls or msg me, I do answer back, and show him I do care for him still. I make him think i am still available to him, but my mind knows i need to move on, perhaps my heart is lacking behind. I write jounals too, it DOES help!! So my advise is to go with your own flow, and keep a strong mind, be honest with yourself, accept the fact that you two are no longer together, and keep telling yourself that. I do believe it will only take a matter of time, and I am going through it right now.

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Cutting off contact is ideal if you don't have any friends in common...but I miss my ex's friends, as well as him. I feel like I've lost three good friends and one boyfriend, and it all hurts. I don't know how to work that in into the "getting over it equation...

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