What next? What is she thinking?

[JSHRN]

Allison & I have been dating for 3 months. We met at work and she made the first move by asking me out. Since that time she moved on to another job and started back at school (15 minutes away).

 

Initially, things were fantastic - we could talk about anything and everything. The times we shared were special and it didn't take long before we expressed that we loved and were in love with each other.

 

When we started dating she was living with someone (a housemate relationship - nothing). He has since moved but he still contacts her (she insist that it's finally over after 7 years).

 

For the past 3 weeks she has been as romantic, as affectionate or as receptive to my affections. She says that school has her very stressed out and she just needs "space". (Oh, the dreaded word)! She wants to be able to come and go as she pleases. She says it's not to see or screw other guys - she just wants time for Allison once in a while.

 

I don't have a problem giving her space but I wonder what her thoughts are really? She says that I'm over reacting and over analyzing but I wonder if something more is going on that she's not telling me. (Although she always said she would tell me if she wanted to end things).

 

Any ideas as to where her thoughts are? It seems strange that as our relationship has gone on we are spending less and less time together and she has become distant. We have already professed that we love and are in love with each other. I just wonder why she chooses to spend less time with me lately instead of more.

 

Part of me is very confused about this, yet part of me is pissed about this too. At first I was careful about sharing my feelings with her because I didn't want to get burned again. When I realized that she was sincere about seeing me I reciprocated.

 

She insists that we didn't go too far too fast - she just needs her space right now. She's become a very special part of my life and I love her more than other woman I ever been with. She always said that she needs me and wants me in her life but what am I supposed to think about her latest behavior. We talked on the phone the other day and supposedly "cleared the air" about where our relationship stands - she doesn't want to take a step but that actually what she's done. She really is too busy with school to see anyone else (a friend of hers told me that no guys would "put up with her the way you do)"

 

I know I sound impatient but I'm not needy. I'm not trying to rush into things but it's just hard with our situation now considering how close we were a month and a half ago.

 

Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

 

J

[Shyguy24]

Welcome to being in love ..haha

 

hey love is like the stock market , it has its highs and its lows ;

 

i would suggest that she is comfortable in the relationship and is secure about you

 

hmm what u need to do is not to pester her or ask to many ques why u feel like that or how come u dont want to hang out or stuff;

 

see the thing is that the ROMANCE IS PART OF BEING IN LOVE ; AND FOR U THAT PART IS OVER FOR THE MOMENT ;

 

dosent mean she dosent love you ...just that u need to well give her what she wants and if its space then do it just give it to her , specially if u want this girl to be with you for a long time

 

see its proably a mood swing or something like she just dosent feel like ; so take it like that , it happens to all of us

 

be mature and take things as they come DONT MAKE THE MISTAKE OF DEPENDING ON HER OR THE RELATIOSHIP TOO MUCH , infact if she comes out of this mood or phase she will love you even more for being there without being clingy or real needy

 

hey its life okay and u just have to undestand that she is just human

 

i would give her space and not make anything out of it ..she said she loves you so take it at face value ...u do trust her right than prove it by respecting her decision of wanting space

 

take care gluck

[JSHRN]

I talked to Allison on the phone last night and felt like I was talking to a friend, not to someone I've been dating for the past 3 months. She's so busy with school and trying to keep her ex from calling her that I told her she needs to concentrate on those things in her life and not worry about what's going on in my life. I told her she has enough crap in her life without being "burdened" by stuff in my life. When she said "you mean you don't want me to call you to see how you're doing"? I basically said "let's see what happens" and I hung up on her. I know... very immature on my part but I don't feel she's being honest with me. She has no time for me but is still able to go with her friends. Sorry, but something isn't right. She says she's not seeing her ex or any one else but I don't why we don't have the rtelationship we've had the past 3 months.

 

She still says that school has her so frazzled and that her ex is driving her nuts. What to do???