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"I'm pretty lonely these days"

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Topic Line is a quote from Rushmore (One of my fave movies)


Anyways, so my ex and I split up about seven or eight months ago. After One month I tried to reconcile, but she had moved on. I tried a bit more before getting really hurt when she 'rubbed her new partner in my face' (he's in the same industry - but more successful - geez, i wonder if i'm still bitter about that?? )


So over the last couple of months things have gotten a little better, it stopped hurting so much, and I was starting to feel better. I got asked out by a couple of different girls, both of whom I found really attractive - but there was no spark with either of them.


Did you ever hear the phrase 'everything happens for a reason'. Well I guess I've been trying to live my life by that in regards to my break up. I dont know what the reason was, but I guess there must be one.


So about a month ago, a girl e-mails me from overseas, telling me that we chatted about five years ago on ICQ. I had no reason to doubt her (despite not remembering it) - so we start chatting. I teach a few courses at a University, and it turns out her cousin is one of my students. The more we start talking, the more amazing I'm finding this person (despite having never met her, nor ever met anyone on the net). She's funny, smart, sexy (as much as a person can be via text), and seems really genuine. Out of pure coincidence she ends up flying over to my country for a wedding. And after a really awkward period, we agree we're both interested in each other, and would like to meet. So the date is set, and we're talking more and more online, both of us excited/anxious/nervous. Her cousin (my student) finds out about it, and she and I (awkardly) begin to talk about it.


Eventually her cousin (my student) e-mails me and tells me that there is something she needs to tell me about the girl. She tells me that the girl has lied about everything (including her age - she's not 26, but is 18 - her job, she's not in the medical industry) - and is in fact, a student who started one of my courses, but dropped out in the first week. Of course, I'm very embarrassed by the whole situation, and politely ask her not to contact me again. I would like to get angry, but the truth is, I'm more disappointed than anything. You see, the persona that this girl put out, just seemed like everything I was looking for in a person. And when I found out it was a lie, it just brought me back to that same issue of 'Everything Happens for A Reason'


Well, I'm stumped. I dont know what the reason is. All I know, since me and my ex split up, everythings been bad. I'm very responsible for our break up (i know it takes two to tango, but i'm just acknowledging my fair share of fault in the break up).


All I know is, 'I'm pretty lonely these days' - and this thing with the student just made it worse.


In a month I'm flying out to another country for five months work (ironically, its the country my ex lives in now) - and I know a lot of the reason I pursued this work was because of her. But now that I'm a bit more ambivelent about the situation, I dont really want to go. But the wheels of the trip have turned a little too far to stop anything now, and it would be incredibly difficult (and expensive) to back out now.


So here I am, middle of the night, unable to sleep, trying not to feel sorry for myself, but posting random ramblings on a website.


Anyone else out there?

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Well I don't think ther is any thing I, or anyone else for that matter, could say to help. All I can say is that you're not alone. Almost everyone has been lied to like that (aka me) an we all know that when it happens at a bad point in you're life everything seem to turn south... way south... Things get better thoug. It just takes time.

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Wow sorry to hear you got played with on the NET, id say 90% of the time people are who they say they are, but its those few that give the whole internet dating thing a bad rep.


Its important to get to know the person, through pictures and talking on the phone.


Anyway about your other problem, I still think you a bit hurt from your breakup, its why you cant find "spark" with these other women that have dated you. give it some time.


Yes things happen for a reason, when one door closes, another will open, but you have to be looking in the right direction to see it.

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