Setback

[cabman]

I just finished dropping off some of the Ex's things at her house. I tried to be cool about it. I just handed her the box with her stuff in it and said see ya. It was so damn cold. Thats not how I felt. I went back and we talked and drank and drank and talked. We had a really good time. I lost it at the end . As I was leaving left she asked me if I was OK. I said no. We hugged and she said it will be ok. I broke down and said "not without you".

 

I feel like crap now. This is really a low point.

[Aday5578]

We all go through that...you just said how you felt, nothing wrong with that. But now is the time to move on...i am sure you are going to do no contact? It is hard, believe me..but every once in a while it hits me as a good thing. Now is the time to work on you....Take all that energy and put it into yourself...Good luck

[cabman]

We all go through that...you just said how you felt, nothing wrong with that. But now is the time to move on...i am sure you are going to do no contact? It is hard, believe me..but every once in a while it hits me as a good thing. Now is the time to work on you....Take all that energy and put it into yourself...Good luck

 

Trouble is I know all this. I have been working on me. I excercise a lot. I ride my bike, walk and do resistance training. I have been eating better. I am doing my best to meet new people. I am seeing a therapist (something I thought I would never do). I am leaning on friends and family when I can. It's been 4 months and nothing seems to help. Nothing seems right without her. Everything seems right with her. I have done the N/C deal. I have tried the friends deal. I feel like any progress I have made in the last 4 months has been lost.

[MarkD]

Hey cabman,

 

Im really sorry to hear about the pain you are going through. I know what you are going through...I am also still going through it myself. Nothing seems right anymore...nothing makes sense...it is really difficult. I must say that the difference between weeks even makes a big difference. Just keep doign what you are doing and try to stay strong.

 

Keep talking about what you are feeling and keep working on yourself. We need to know that we can be strong on our own and we don't need someone else to be happy. The "right" person will come...

[winchester3]

If it was meant to be then you would still be together. But your not together so it's not meant to be. Life goes on, get over it.

[cabman]

If it was meant to be then you would still be together. But your not together so it's not meant to be. Life goes on, get over it.

 

Now there's some good sound, caring advice. So according to you everything in life is fate.

 

My young friend, I think if we could all "just get over it" there would not be a need for ENA.

[MarkD]

What a jerk...If you don't have anything good to say Winchester don't bother.

 

Grow up!

[winchester3]

So according to you everything in life is fate.

 

Didn't intend to be mean. And no your jumping to conclusions, fate? Hell no. (not sure what gets bleeped and what doesn't so that was "he*double hockey sticks* no" just in case) I'm just saying what happens, happens and thats life. Makes it exciting Or am i horribly mistaken?

 

My young friend

 

Hehe yeah I'm young! Almost have enough facial hair to grow a teen stache!

[glimmerofhope]

You are horribly mistaken, and posts like the one above can be a really nasty jolt for someone who is hurting and searching on these boards for some comfort. Please think before you act in the future.

[cabman]

If it was meant to be then you would still be together. But your not together so it's not meant to be. Life goes on, get over it.

 

 

After looking again at this post, I still feel that it implies that all things that happen is fate ( "if it were meant to be"). People have a choice in the direction that thier lives take. Actions always have consiquences. The way I read your post is that whatever happens to us has nothing to do with what we do.

[Coyote9]

I think what you did was honest, and may actually help you let go in a different sort of way. While dropping off the stuff and emoting to her may seem like a step backward, I believe that it can also be something that helps you accept the reality of the situation with more clarity. Clearly you can't be her friend, nor should you want to. I have had no such contact with my ex, although our breakups went on and off over the course of 6 months before she left once and for all. It's over, and while I still long for her and even think about what contacting her might feel like, I know that she's no longer the person I thought she once was nor am I. Your ex gave you a gift of sorts today, she does not feel the longing that you do, and, painful as that was and is to be in the midst of, it was a big old dose of reality that, anytime you feel nostalgic or thinking that you might reconcile, you can flash back to (likely reexperience the searing pain of it), and get back to taking care of you.

 

There's only one way out for us as dumpees....and that's away....this new pain will serve to keep you away if you allow it work in that way for you. Hang in there.

Coyote

[cabman]

Yep...I made a mental note not to do that again.....

[winchester3]

The way I read your post is that whatever happens to us has nothing to do with what we do.

 

All i am saying is that after something happens there is no changing it. It's stuck in history forever. If you don't mind answering >>

Question: When you quote how do you get the 'Originally posted by ...' Thing in there?

[cabman]

On the bottom right side of the post that you wish to quote there are 3 links. One is quote. Just click on it...

[winchester3]

Thanks so much cabman