how do you define "crush?"

[Lucy_lou]

just wondering what people think?

 

especially those who believe they've grown out of having crushes (I haven't). I'm interested to know why you don't have them any more?

 

here's the oxford american dictionary's definition

 

2. (informal) a brief but intense infatuation for someone, esp. someone unattainable or inappropriate: she did have a crush on Dr. Russell.

 

we'll I've used it wrongly. I've used it for infatuations which last years, and for people who were potentially attainable. so I guess I'm wrong. I thought it just meant when you like someone a lot and they don't have to do much to make you feel waves of bliss... stuff like that...

[GoldenRoole]

To me, a crush is an initial, "pre-infatuation" phase of liking someone; the phase that falls somewhere between initial lust and infatuation. This can happen to anyone at any age.

 

Something like this:

 

physical attraction (or "lust") >> crush>> infatuation >> love.

 

Of course this has only been MY view.

[JeckyllNHyde]

A crush to me is when you like someone but can't have them. I heard (on tv shows) "that's why it's called a crush.. b/c it leaves you crushed when you just find out that they don't feel the same".

 

I thought I didn't get them anymore either, but I realised I just recently had one on a guy in class, really minor, but it's just a realllllly small crush.

 

Other then that I don't get major crushes on people anymore like when I was in my teens. I think when we grow up, we don't waste time anymore liking people who don't like us back. I usually am not gonna be hanging around pining over some guy who couldn't care less about me. I try, get an unfavorable response and then move on to a guy who does like me (and vice versa). IMO I think that's why most people say they don't get crushes anymore. B/c as you grow up you don't feel so "crushed" anymore when you can't have someone, you just look else where. But when your in your preearly teens, it's like the world just came down on you.

[Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll]

something that a little child has.

 

i dont think any grown person should have a "crush"

[ghost69]

when you have a liking for someone, yet you can't seem to either get their attention or you are too scared to do anything about it. you pine over them. you think of them all the time. a crush will pass when you finally realize you aren't going to be with them, for whatever the barrier is.

 

usually a crush develops cause you see a person constantly. you may not know their name, but you notice things about them. you see them once, you notice their eyes. or you notice their smile. the tone of their voice gets you goin. or how warm and nice they are. anything can start a crush up.

 

and i agree with SBJ that crushes fade with maturity. once you reach a certain level, you should be hitting on the person you find attractive. mentally or physically. depending on how you see it. i won't hit on a girl if i find her mentally stimulating, yet unattractive physically.

[Lucy_lou]

So even if I know I can't have the person, and acknowledge it, am I supposed to automatically lose my feeling that they are amazing and stop being affected by them? is that what maturity is? (I'm not very mature)

[pacman]

its mostly based on physical attraction, usually someone you dont know well, in most cases.

 

Its also possible to have secret crushes on friends though I suppose.

 

I would just define it as something that isnt a serious major attraction. Pre-infatuation as used above seems like a good definition.

[Lucy_lou]

am I supposed to grow out of having infatuations as well?

[Leonhart]

something that a little child has.

 

i dont think any grown person should have a "crush"

 

lol

 

Riiiiight.

 

Then no one would get together, Mr. Logic.

 

Anyhow, I must be VERY mature because I never crush over anyone anymore. Aside from liking the curve of a girl's hip or her breasts, I don't feel anything for anyone I meet anymore. Not even so much as, "Hmm, I like her."

[JadedStar]

So even if I know I can't have the person, and acknowledge it, am I supposed to automatically lose my feeling that they are amazing and stop being affected by them? is that what maturity is? (I'm not very mature)

 

No, that is not quite the definition of maturity.

 

I think even very mature people can have crushes. it is part of being an emotional animal.

[Zuzu2]

To me a crush is just having a great attraction to someone you aren't involved with. Doesn't mean it can't evolve into a relationship eventually. Of course recently I've developed a little crush on someone totally unobtainable, so yeah, that is a serious crush I guess. And I'm 35 and I still get them. I don't think that you ever are too old for crushes.

[ghost69]

So even if I know I can't have the person, and acknowledge it, am I supposed to automatically lose my feeling that they are amazing and stop being affected by them? is that what maturity is? (I'm not very mature)

 

no, not at all. make a move. this is why i say i don't get crushes anymore. if i like someone enough, i make a move before i get a crush on them.

[May_It_Be]

Honestly, I don't crush. I either make the move, or move on.

 

Course, there are those times when I'm off the meds and I start obsessing uncontrollably, but that's a different story for a different thread. LOL. JK.

[cpc28655]

To me, a crush is a brand of soft drink. Personally, I like the orange flavored.

 

But if it is limerence you are referring to, then it is an involuntary cognitive and emotional state in which a person feels an intense romantic desire for another person, the limerent object.

 

Perhaps I read too much. ](*,)