What steps do you guys usually take to progress from

[sarsapolis6]

meeting a woman (at work, school, parties, etc) to convincing her that you are an interesting guy to have fun with (flirting, teasing, etc) to finally a guy who women feel comfortable in openly sharing thoughts, feelings, information with? A "safe", yet very interesting guy with potential.

 

It's seems like it's hard because I'm not a naturally humorous guy. I haven't earned any positive attention from women, most of the time they will not open up with me no matter how friendly they are. I'm quiet, but exude positive energy almost all of the time without appearing like a "mellow nice guy".

And I do listen, however...most women will not open up with me and then what am I gonna have to do? Ask a question, or else she will remain silent. That leads to another problem, because even the open-ended questions I ask lead to purposely vague answers that halt the conversation.

 

So how can you flirt with a woman if you have this type of roadblock?

[Firehawk13]

Hey! Nice to see another face living in Seattle

 

I think you have a bit of a misconception. You shouldn't have to convince a woman that you're "an interesting guy to have fun with" - when you find someone you really click with, she'll enjoy you exactly the way you are.

 

Now, this isn't to say you can't try to net one and then ease her into the real you. Sadly, the vast majority of women will have to have some sort of physical interest before they'll approach you. This being said, if a woman does express some manner of interest, bear in mind you already have the one-up: she thinks you're at least reasonably good looking. All that's left is to ask her on a date, and then let her make her judgments from the date.

 

Easier said than done, I realize. In all honesty, half of a date is what you're doing, not so much what you discuss. Dinner at a nice restaurant is always a plus, but being there for hours will usually bode poorly. Some kind of activity (a club, bowling, whatever sparks her interest) is a good idea, then maybe something relaxing like a movie or a little browsing around a mall, and then the classic dinner.

 

With the comfort in sharing thoughts - you seem to be almost asking how to get into a friend zone. That's fine, if it's what you're after. However, you need to be able to hold interesting conversations on multiple dates before someone is going to consider starting to open up to you about "feelings."

 

A big misconception is that you need humor. If you exude a good "aura," are polite and kind, you're already most of the way there. All that's left is to be a little bit of a tease (most women love this), flirt a bit, and be confident and forward.

 

I think what would be good for you is to read some conversational guides for dates. Google is your friend

[Entropy Smith]

"Safe" guys don't get girls. You don't need to 360's in the air with a motorcycle but you need an edge.

[ghost69]

why do you want to hear about a woman's feelings and talk about her inner thoughts? you want to be her 'girl' friend?