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how can i get over this?


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hey i need help bad!! i hope some one has some good advice for me

ok heres how it all started i was drinking the other night and so were a couple of other people ok there were 5 of us and 4 of us were drunk it was me, marion, my sister linda,howie ,and markus . all of us were drunk besideds howie , marion slipped and said something she wasnt supossed to to me( ok , i keep this journal and what she said , i knew she read it or some one told her what it said) and than i asked her who told her and she told me linda , ok what it said was thet i was in love with this guy named joe , ok your thinking theres nothing wrong wwith that but he was kinda like lindas b/f but not they were friends for 5 years and we were friends for 4 linda knew him first ( yes i know i shoulnt have wrote any thing down thet i didnt want any one to know about , but hey i trusted her) and the reasoon why i didnt tell linda was thet she liked him alot and i didnt want to mess things up for so i kept all this in i didnt even tell joe because linda liked him frist and thats out of the rules i was just tring to be a good sister you know and well she knows now and i dont ever think i could trust her again ............... i dont know what to say to her ... i feel so embarrest in front of her ....i feel so stupid now i dont even knows ...i have no idea who she told....ii mean all this time they knew and i had no idea thet they knew . i mean its not only the fact thet she read it but how am i supossed to look at her how am i supossed to trust her how am i supossed to know what else they know. i loved him so much and i pushed my feellings aside because i loved her more shes my sister i didnt want to hurt her.she was my best friend...i mean i was in love with him for 3 and a half years ,and the whole time i listened to her tell me how muched she liked him and when they fooled around and i watched them kiss and i heard everyoone say how thats who they wanna see her marry and how cute they looked together ,and not only them but i listened to him tell hoow he thinks shes so hot and thet he likes her and all the rest of the things best friends tell each other we were best friends to it hurt so bad to see them together but it mad me happy to know she was happy...i dont know what ti do ...please help me

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