Saying "I love you"

[JimmerJammer]

It makes me laugh an not entirely in a haha way either. I roll my eyes sometimes because I come accross people who go through the honeymoon phase and then their real selves come out. They'll start off saying things like "we'll be together forever" or "I'd never do that to you!", but the truth is that no secret magical formula will guarantee that things will work in a relationship its up to both individuals in it to ensure that.

 

That is what makes me laugh because I am amazed by the amount of people who think love is something magical that will make it work and that everything will stay perfect forever and won't change, but the truth always will come through and that is that its up to the two people engaged in the relationship to make it work. Love can be a wonderful thing and a very fortunate thing when two people manage to find it in their lifetimes, but it doesn't work just because you hope it does.

 

I recently got into a relationship with someone pretty darn great and its miraculous that the girl isn't put off from the fact that I'm a pretty big deal. I know my expectations of people are pretty high and I compensate that by not needing people to meet those expectations as its more important to me that they understand the importance in reaching goals than having to absolutely reach them. Of course you want to reach goals, but don't beat yourself up because you didn't make them you know? Anyways that's getting away from what I was trying to speak about and I know that for me I feel I've been around enough women and been in enough relationships to know for myself what matters in the end and what doesn't.

 

Actually finding someone that matches those preferences would have to be someone who really amazes me and its pretty darn amazing to feel like I've finally found that person. I love you is an expression of what your intentions are and the lengths behind which you choose to express it. The words alone aren't enough to make things last long term nor are they going to get past your own inner demons, but love of each other is what allows for sustainability during times of hardship. Just being that fascinated by someone on a continual basis only adds to that desire to stay with this person and once they've become that important to you that you won't allow things to slip away or for each other to take advantage of the other, then why not say I love you? Especially when you've found someone you'll want to be with the rest of your life, why take that risk?

[star18]

i think saying "i love you" depends entirely on the individual. some people can know that they are in love within , weeks, maybe even days of being together. just because "i love you" is said alot doesn't take away the meaning.

my ex and i, said "i love you" within a matter of days of being together. and we really did mean it. we had been best mates for 3 years before we finally admitted are true feelings for one another. although now we are no longer an item, we are still really close friends and will always love each other. after all you never get over your first love.

[Darkness_Falls]

Pretty glad I came accross this thread, this topic has been on my mind for a little while now and it's nice to see that there are people with similar views about saying "I love you".

 

I was getting a bit scared because my bf hadn't said it, and we have been together for 3 months. Getting on great, I just thought he would have said it by now. Now before everyone calls me crazy for saying that, you should know that my first bf said it after 1 month, my second said it after 1 day and my third after 1 week. So naturally I assumed this relationship would be the same.

 

I should probably add that my second and third boyfriends were emotionally abusive but still told me that they "loved me" and we would be "together forever".

 

Turns out actions really do speak louder than words. My bf treats me so much better and he hasn't said those words, but he shows me in so many other ways by being supportive to me and just being really sweet and caring.

 

Nice to know that I don't have a reason to freak out!

[WaterIsLife]

Very true, actions do speak louder than words. I believe in telling someone that I love them when it feels right to ME! Forget about worrying if its too early, those worries don't do anything for you. Do what FEELS right!

[shifty00]

me and my gf have been together for about 6months, we have just finished school. out in the big world now, but we have just started with the "i love yous" im only young, 18, people say ya dont know wat love is at that age, but believe me, i sure do. She was going to move away for uni, but she stayed here with me. so yeh... love can start young.

Wat is ur view of this???

[jane2000]

my bf and i felt it early on around the 2 month mark and so we said it...i think if you feel it and mean it, you should say it.

[Mr SIBLEY]

Another thing is the pressure of when a person says "I love you" because partners can feel pressured to say it back. And if they don't it puts pressure on the other person because they may feel stupid.

[Killasasparilla]

I say I love you to everyone, all the time.

For me, this word is WAY overused.

[anggrace]

I could never get tiered of hearing those words. As long as the actions back it up, say it to me whenever you feel the urge.

[anggrace]

I also believe in saying it with having out the expectations of hearing it back. When it's said to me, I show appreciation but don't feel I must say it back.

[Copingwithdistance]

Coming from an affectionate family, I didn't understand why saying "I love you" has been wrapped up into being so weighty until recently. I tend to say it regularly to family and even my closest friends. But,"I love you" can be used to convey many different depths of feeling, and obviously, the love I hold for my boyfriend is different from others.

 

On this forum, a lot of people have said (or insinuated) that young people cannot know what love is yet. I personally feel that love is not a stagnant--but rather changes as it matures. Perhaps in early phases of a relationship, it could be connected with "I want you," but at the time it is said, it feels profound and real nonetheless. With that said, however, I've found that saying "I love you" after being with someone for almost three years feels totally different than in the beginning of the relationship (first year or so). Hypothetically, if I were begin a new relationship now, I don't think I could throw it around as casually in the first few months as I did with my boyfriend.

[GottaLetItBurn]

I won't tell a girl I love her because I don't want to scare her away or think she has some kind of power over me. I have been hurt pretty bad once I actually started showing I cared. I like to hold back and show it rather than say it. I think you need to say it every so often just so she can hear it. It's not something you need to do all the time.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I think that we did say "I love you" too early for it to actually be love. However, I don't regret it because it was how I felt at the time(or at least thought that I felt). It's not that people say it too quickly, it's just that love is a hard emotion to pinpoint. Whether that Love is fake or any less sincere varies from couple to couple.