want to get back with ex- need help

[sweetharmony]

Hi. i dated my ex boyfriend for 4 years. We lived together 2 of those four years. there were problems, mostly mine. i wasn't happy. i used to live in a fantasy world and every time a relationship levels off (the excitement courting stage) i get bored. i wanted him to be romantic and more attentive. but i think these are my issues. anyway, being addicted to those "love" feelings, i sort of broke up with him (while living together) to pursue another relationship. I never slept with the new guy, just kissed him, while living with my ex. anyway, the new relationship didn't work out b/c i finally realied that after the newness wore off, i wasn;t attracted to him- just attracted to the attention.

 

it's been 6 months since i've been w/ my ex. i'm okay without him. but i realize that he is the type of person i really want. he was loyal, stable, intelligent- everything i wanted. and no....i'm not just remembering the good times. most of the bad times were becaese of my neediness.

 

i want to get back together, but i don't think he'll ever forgive me. we e-mail eachother occasionally (we have a dog together) bit that's it. I've moved on and i'm okay, but i can't stop thinking about him. what do i do? i realize there are other men out there and i need to live w/ my poor decision, but i feel horrible. HELP!

[bubbamackdaddy69]

Maybe you should call him and ask to for coffee or diner and just pour your heart out and let him know. Be honest with him and let him know how youo feel towards him. If you really do love him you deserve it to yourself to give it one more shot.

[routerx]

If you had known then what you know now.... We've all been there. You need to go to him and tell him how you feel. If he is not interested, then you have learned a great lesson and the next time you have something that great, you won't let it slip out of your hands.

 

Please note that you will never have something like that again if you don't let go of the past. So, if he is not interested, let him go.. let it go and move on.

 

Also, never live with someone again prior to marriage. That is a recipe for disaster. There is nothing that can be found out when living together that could not be forgiven in marriage (oh your darn dirty socks and snoring.. I would have NEVER married you just not going to happen)

[caliboy]

i just want to reiterate what the other two posts said, just so you know that their advice is the best. tell him how you feel. tell him you've missed him and everything else you've been feeling. cause if it's meant to be, he will have missed you too and will express interest back. it'll take a little time to get in the swing of things, but that's fine cause the trust needs to be rebuilt. good luck and hope it works out for you.

[lessthanjed]

Geez...You sound exactly like my ex.

 

She was very needy, and I wasn't able to give her the attention she needed. I was very busy with school, work, and trying to keep her happy that I burned myself out. It got to the point where I didn't even want to leave the house because I was so tired. She left me for another guy. We also have a dog together. However, I love her very much, and it is very hard forgiving her for what she did to me. The guy you hurt probably loves you too, but it really isn't easy to get over something like that.

 

I would recommend going after him. You need to show him, even if it gets hard, and you get frustrated. At least, that's what I would hope for from my ex if we ever got to that point. It's just that I'm the one trying to convince her that we are supposed to be together, and she hasn't come around to accepting that. I do know that she loves me, and I could see this exact situation happening to me in time. We've only been apart for about 1 1/2 months.

 

It's tough, but if you want him back, you need to show him. If he's not willing to take you back, you must move on, as there is nothing you can do.

[kimg]

I agree with the other post on living together. Never do that. That usually never works. If a man wants to live with you, he needs to marry you. Second, I feel that you may not have truly found love. You need to spend some time with yourself and decide what it is you need. Also it is hard to satisfy a person when they are first not satisfied with themselves. Are you happy with yourself? No one will ever make you happy if you are not. Take some time for yourself before calling the guy back. Find out what it is you want from a relationship then take the next step.