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what if the two are playing the same game?


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This question comes up every so often, and there seems to be confusion as to the reasoning behind not making contact after a breakup.

 

As Bryan replied, this is for healing.

 

1) The no contact rule, is for healing.

2) Its not a game or "trick" to get a person back.

3) If your doing this as a tactic to get her back, then your not healing

because your holding on to hope.

4) In some cases contact is recommended, for example when your the

one that dumped the other person and made the mistake.

 

For those that are hoping to get her/him back, not making contact improves your chances because you are not pressuring them or making them feel guilty, (this pushes them further away) but it does not mean they will ever return or change their minds. There is no absalutes here.

 

When you call a person and start telling them how much you love them or start trying to convince them they are making a mistake or show how hurt you are etc. you will push this person further away because they will start to justify their actions to themselfs and others! actually searching for more reasons why they did what they did, so they dont feel bad for what they have done to you. also by looking needy and "selling" yourself you look less valuable in their minds.

 

But like I said, dont think that just by not making contact that this will automatically bring them back, but it does improve your chances, its like leaving a door open, they are free to come back if they so desire, but they may never desire that.

 

What you need to do when you get dumped, is accept that it is over, and take advantage of this time alone to heal, because guess what? even if they do return, its not the same, there will be trust issues that can affect your relationship. even the person that does the dumping needs to forgive themselfs for what they did sometimes.

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