Need advice from women...

[Tallo]

Ok, here is the story...it might be a little long, but I really need help from a woman's perspective, so bare with me.

 

A couple of weeks ago, I started talking to this girl. The first night we went out, I invited her and her roommate to meet up with a couple of my friends so it would not feel to awkward. We hung out all night and got along really well. Two nights later, I called her and we talked for about 2 hours on the phone. Over the next few days, we talked a couple more times on the phone and I went to her apartment and hung out with her...but also her roommates. I asked her if she wanted to go and get dinner sometime, and she said that sounded good, so she told me she was busy most of the week, but to call her tomorrow and see when she was available. I called her and she said that she was busy, and to try and do it next week. She said she felt bad, but that she really wanted to go next week.

 

So, next week rolls around, and I ask her if she is still interested in going. She says yes, but she would know a little bit more of when she was available on Tuesday night. So, Wednesday night rolls around and I go over to her apartment to drop off a cd and while I am there I ask if she wants to go out tomorrow night (which would be Thursday). She thinks about it for a little bit and thinks that that would be ok. So, I tell her I will call her after I get off work that day. So, after work, I call her and she answers the phone in her car with her roommate because they were coming home from shopping. She tells me that she has some homework to do and that it probably won't work out to go out that night.

 

So, this brings up to tonight. I haven't spoken to her since then, which was two nights ago, and it is killing me. I really like this girl and don't know what to do anymore. Everytime we talk on the phone, it seems as if she is in to me because she always picks up the phone or returns my phone calls. But, it seems that she has no problem with me hanging out with her and her roommates, but when it is time that I want to hang out with her alone, she kind of shys away. Do you think she doesn't like me that way and doesn't want to hurt my feelings, or do you think she really likes me but is scared that she might get involved on a serious level and she is not sure that is what she wants? I am really confused and don't know what to do anymore. Should I wait for her to call me to see if she really cares about me, or should I call her soon? PLEASE HELP!!

[optimistic person]

she may have had a bad relationship prior and really does not want to get in a serious relationship so fast she probably just want to be friends and just give her some time you can also tell her how you feel about her and what are your intensions about the attraction between both of you. Tell her how you really feel about her and how attracted you are too her , she may tell you exactly what she wants as well. Go to her and tell her in privacy not when the roomates are around, talk in the walk way outside you door or cross the street in a dinner ir something.

[Mar]

I'd do as optimistic said......give her a ring, ask if she just wants to go for a walk or something casual, where you have a chance to be away from the roommates, and tell her flat-out that you'd like to pursue this further, and see what she says. Let her know that you enjoy her company, like hanging out with her, look forward to talking to her, and want to know if she has the same interest.

 

If she says she does, then tell her you really want to take her out somewhere nice, and that she should pick the time since her schedule seems so full. If she can't come up with a time (which seems unlikely, school or not.....NO one has absolutely no nights free) then ask her what SHE'D like to do, as an alternate......possibly a day trip or something, a drive to somewhere or a picnic in a park, whatever. (After all, she manages to go out w/her roommates, right?)

 

If she can't come up with something for THAT, then you're sort of stuck. At that point, I suppose, in your shoes, I'd suggest just being friends, since it would seem that it's impossible for her to commit to anything! Sad, but true. Or just ask her if she's possibly seeing someone else, and didn't want to hurt your feelings. I can't remember EVER being so busy that I didn't have time to go out on a simple date once in awhile! Good luck, I hope this works out for you.

 

Mar