bobsiesprincess Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 im so scared..........is this it? is this life from now on? am i going to be miserable from the age of 21 until i die??? there seems to be quite a few people on here who a year or so down the line still arent over things. will i always love my ex? will i never get over him and always pine for him and mis shim? will i never meet sum1 else i love as much as him? Link to comment
DatingIsSoHard Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 im so scared..........is this it? is this life from now on? am i going to be miserable from the age of 21 until i die??? there seems to be quite a few people on here who a year or so down the line still arent over things. will i always love my ex? will i never get over him and always pine for him and mis shim? will i never meet sum1 else i love as much as him? World population : 6 billion+ half of it male Plenty of fish in the bowl... move on and date other guys Link to comment
nuttybuddy Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 only time will tell... besides u can't predict your future by comparing yourself to how long other's handled it. time will test how much u truly loved him. but the sooner u r over him, the sooner u can start the next phase of your life. Link to comment
nikkers04 Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 ha I know the feeling...let me tell you a quick story... May of 2003 I started seeing Kevin...we became engaged well he broke up with me in May of 2007....4 years I thought life was over 2 months later reality hit me...I didn't love him...and he didn't love me...not like that anyway. I met Jeremy July of 2007 and things...were amazing i'd NEVER felt the way I had with him. well 2 days ago Jeremy ended it...said that he shouldn't have got me involved and was sorry for the things he said that made me feel like I was the one because he was in love with his best friend ... the best friend that already told him no relationship earlier in the year. He doesn't want to lead me on...blah blah blah... so back to your post I'm so scared...is this it...at 21 am I going to be alone for the rest of my life....I really feel the same way you do. I feel my life is over. The only thing I feel we can do is sit back and wait...at least for a while then something will take over weather it be I just can't sit here any more I have to try to do everything I can if I really love him. I called and talked to my mom and she says if you love him you have to fight for him...but how can you fight for someone who is pretty sure they dont want to be with you...because they are too dang clouded over someone else??? You can't I just just sit here praying hoping wishing that he will realize his feelings for me WERE real and will make up for this mistake. Link to comment
greenmonster Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 nah...this aint it... plenty of time left on the clock to change the outcome of the game... don't worry princess...things suck now...I know...I've been there...but they get better, I promise. there aint any magic cures, or quick fixes to a broken heart...healing is a personal process that takes some time and everyone is different...but don't ever think that for one second there aint any light at the end of the tunnel...cuz there is. force yourself out on the town with your friends...get rid of his junk...treat yourself good...take out your pain in the gym...cry if ya need to...scream into a pillow if it helps...dance...sing really loud...do whatever it takes...just never give up... keep your chin up sugar...and just know that some ol' boy in Texas believes in ya. take care Link to comment
catwalk Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 is this it?: HELL no! is this life from now on? Again, no way! miserable from 21 until i die? of course not! year or so down the line still arent over things True, but they can still be very happy! will i always love my ex? Probably, and he'll probably always love you. will i never get over him/pine/miss him? you will get over him, you won't pine anymore after a while, and you will miss him less and less every day! will i ever love as much as him? YES. You'll love different, more and better. Link to comment
tomtommyboy Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 Bobsie I've followed some of your threads before - please understand these are still really early days for you. Healing takes months, and it's natural to feel that you'll "never get over" your ex and "never find anyone as good". The fact you feel it doesn't make it true (your brain is programmed to send you these kind of messages when you're emotionally attached to someone)...neither does it make it easy. But you've just got to hold on and have faith that things can and do get better...in months, not weeks. People who are still on here over a year later - well firstly they're the exception rather than the rule, there's just no way of knowing how your own healing will go (I'd say it's unlikely it'll be this protracted because it's so rare for what it's worth); and secondly, however sad they feel, I bet you anything they're not feeling as bad as they did immediately after the breakup. Their own healing, for whatever personal reason, is taking a little longer than most. But the overall incline is UP. Listen, your first line here is telling: "am I going to be miserable from the age of 21 until I die?" Rationally, what do YOU think the answer is? This is how everyone feels after a breakup; and everyone gets better - do you think people in their 30s still wander around worrying about breakups from their early 20s? You will get better, and reasonably soon (a few months). Exactly when and exactly how I can't tell you. But for now, (useless as they sound, I well remember the feeling), exercise, keeping busy, keeping in touch with friends etc. etc. will help you get through the days. Good luck. Link to comment
nikkers04 Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 do you think people in their 30s still wander around worrying about breakups from their early 20s? haha its funny you should say that...my bf was 30 and he I could still tell was upset about a break up he had at 20. He was hurt by it...eventually I got hurt by him. Link to comment
nuttybuddy Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 sorry to hear about all this love triangle. i agree with u that u can't "fight" for him because it's not an issue u can fight over. his heart is already given away... to some other girl. he has no heart left to give to u. all u can do is wait. wait and see if he'll come back. but don't wait too long. try to get your life back on track. some people end up marrying 7 times! look at elizabeth taylor! u can meet someone who will love u and u can love the way u have experienced. Link to comment
DatingIsSoHard Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 Now I know why guys here can't get girls... They are either taken or when they are single again they can't get over their ex-BF.... (so they can't be assigned to the available-pool either) Link to comment
nikkers04 Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 sorry to hear about all this love triangle. i agree with u that u can't "fight" for him because it's not an issue u can fight over. his heart is already given away... to some other girl. he has no heart left to give to u. all u can do is wait. wait and see if he'll come back. but don't wait too long. try to get your life back on track. some people end up marrying 7 times! look at elizabeth taylor! u can meet someone who will love u and u can love the way u have experienced. Thank you for not telling me i'm crazy for waiting....I know it sounds stupid to wait for someone who doesn't want to be with you...but I felt things there we made plans for the future... I feel this is Gods way of teaching me to be patient. Heres my forum if you want to post there that way we aren't taking away from Bobsie Link to comment
greenmonster Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 it psses me off at myself that another person can control my thoughts/feelings for so long after they've left me. we/I need to channel that energy in another, more positive direction. Somebody figure out how to do that and get back with me ;-) the gym...seriously.... go get a pair of training gloves, tape up your wrists and start punching on a heavy bag till you drop out of exaustion...get on a treadmill or stair climber and just go...don't set a time limit...just go until you don't remember her/him...run until your lungs burn, lift until your muscles scream... feed off that pain...take it and use it...and taking that pain to the gym helps in two ways, it helps you get it out of your system, and it makes you healthier and more fit. if you loose some weight, get buffed/toned up, and get in better shape...your body will naturally feel better and you will mentally feel better about yourself. Link to comment
nikkers04 Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 greenmonster...u do have a good point...I go to the gym alot and I do feel better...I know that the gym is the only good thing I'm doing for myself but the thought of him doens't go away....its i'm doing this so when I see him again i look FANTASTIC....not a im running from him Link to comment
Hope75 Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 Bobsie, I can promise you this is not the end for you. You are very young, and you have lots of time and potential before you. Will that make it hurt less that you had a breakup? No, but understanding that there is plenty of time and opportunity may make you feel better. I was with someone for 5 years and engaged and living with him when I was your age, and I can tell you now that he isn't in my thoughts very often and when I do think of him I laugh that I actually thought about marrying him. I'm older and wiser now. You will get through this honey. Link to comment
greenmonster Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 greenmonster...u do have a good point...I go to the gym alot and I do feel better...I know that the gym is the only good thing I'm doing for myself but the thought of him doens't go away....its i'm doing this so when I see him again i look FANTASTIC....not a im running from him because your wanting him back and trying to get him back...your trying to change someones mind...your trying to change someones opinion of you...when in reality you need to check all that at the door and ask yourself why do you want someone who doesn't want you? why would you want to be with someone you had to convince to be with you? why would you want to be with someone that you had to change in order for them to want you? what I'm saying is to workout to get over them...get the pain out of your body...not get them back...its a huge difference Link to comment
kaoticbaby Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 im so scared..........is this it? is this life from now on? am i going to be miserable from the age of 21 until i die??? there seems to be quite a few people on here who a year or so down the line still arent over things. will i always love my ex? will i never get over him and always pine for him and mis shim? will i never meet sum1 else i love as much as him? after a year, the pain will be reduced greatly. yeah, maybe you won't be completely over him, but it won't sting as bad as it did initially. it DOES get better, it really does. i never believe anyone on here that told me this. but i finally recognized that i was in a very bad relationship and that i wasn't happy with him at all. when i used to think about him while we were together, i didn't feel happy like i was supposed to. i felt dread. i hated having to listen to him lie to me, etc. it felt so much better to just be free, and to not worry about what he was up to and whether or not he was a liar. focus on the negatives and the reasons why you SHOULDN'T be together, and most importantly GO OUT and DO THINGS. you're not doomed, i promise. Link to comment
shes2smart Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 do you think people in their 30s still wander around worrying about breakups from their early 20s? The answer'd be "no." At this point I'm lucky if I can remember what I ate for breakfast let alone events (even emotionally traumatic events) that happened decades ago. If you're feeling miserable and stuck, perhaps you should look into some counseling/therapy. I endured a break-up or two or ten and going to therapy (....and doing the work) was definitely the fast track to healing. Dealing with break-up crap on my own usually took a good year or more. Hitting therapy hard with a good counselor shaved a good 6 months or more off the healing process. Link to comment
bobsiesprincess Posted October 3, 2007 Author Share Posted October 3, 2007 thank you everyone for replying, its appreciated. Link to comment
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