bobsiesprincess Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 so after weeks of nc i sent the ex a letter. not an emotional one -just there was things left i had to say - where i think things went wrong and how i think they can be fixed. i never expected a reply and they way i wrote it it wasnt although i needed one. however, i then heard that he had been wanting to text me and thought he might have made the wrong decision and was wondering if id moved on or not etcetc........ so then i sorta thought the letter would maybe urge him 2 get in touch today is about a week n a half since he would have received it. havent spoken to him or seen him etc for ......... 7 weeks or somn now and i received a text from him telling me he had forwarded me an email about tickets for a gig he knew i wanted to go to. i just replied thanks. then i got really upset and stuff because i was in shock this was the first time id heard from him in so long.......he hadnt even asked how i was.... but at the same time y did he have to text me if hed emailed me, i wld have got it there. so i read too much into things and texted him again saying did you receive my letter. he said "yes, but i think we are better apart, sorry." so now im back to square one. hysterical. i feel like ive been dumped all over again. trust me, dont contact ur ex, it makes things harder and they know where you are if they want you. i feel like such an idiot. Link to comment
nikkers04 Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 i'm so sorry. i'm starting no contact today...and i really and not going to like it... at least he was honest with you I guess. even though I know it sucks Link to comment
love4life Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 bobsies, I made this mistake, too, but I went and did it in person (came out in a big mess, honestly). In response, he told me he was seeing someone else. Yes, it hurt, but it was the closure I needed. That was nearly three weeks ago, and I can easily say that I now feel he's not worth it since he moved on so quickly. I'm still VERY angry (wish I could just feel indifference) but it's a hell of a lot better than pining away for him like I was before. I at least feel like I said what I have to say. You've done the same and while you feel bad now, at least in time you'll know you did all you could and that if he doesn't feel the same, he's got no place in your life. Link to comment
Zackinlaw Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 Bobsies: Yeah, you never expect these setbacks to hurt as much as they do ... It may feel like you're back to "square one" but it will take less time to get back to where you were before this happened. Whoever told you "that he had been wanting to text [you] and thought he might have made the wrong decision." ... let them know that you don't want to hear news about him any more ... even what appears to be good news. In fact, good news is worse than bad news. Good news encourages false hope. Bad news forces you to face reality. Nikkers: Good luck ... it is very tough, and you are going to hate it at first ... but there is light at the end. Best of luck to you! Love4life: That's very encouraging ... if you are feeling anger instead of pain, you're getting closer to the "indifference" stage. When you finally realize he isn't even worth your anger any more ... you're there!!!! Good luck to all. Zack. Link to comment
bobsiesprincess Posted October 1, 2007 Author Share Posted October 1, 2007 yeh in a way im sort of glad, because although im gutted, i wont look back and think what if id done this would it have worked. Also, its given me the closure i sort of need. i guess hes not the person i thought he was Link to comment
nikkers04 Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 good luck on moving on bobsies we are here for you... Link to comment
sweetjg Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 Yeah, don't break NC, I made that mistake too, we wrote exacly same topic, although a bit different situation on the same day :S ... Link to comment
illnvrluvher Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 bprincess, i feel your pain. and although this was a tough lesson learned for you it is a lesson for all of us. by posting your experience it is going to help someone (like me) to maintain NC. i woke up this morning wanting to email my ex. i am glad i was able to come here and vent about my situation. i love when you said "trust me, dont contact ur ex, it makes things harder and they know where you are if they want you." you are so right if my ex wants to contact me she knows where i am if she wants me. thank you so much for the post Link to comment
bobsiesprincess Posted October 2, 2007 Author Share Posted October 2, 2007 thats exactly why i posted it, to stop someone else who is feeling weak from breaking NC. because it really wont make you feel any better. stay strong illnvrluvher! Link to comment
samross Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 bobsie, I think sometimes breaking NC does help you if for no other reason than for you to face what you are fearing the most. I know all too well about sending an email and then getting no response. I think sometimes that is harder than seeing them face to face. It puts you in the position of now waiting to see if they respond and when they don't you feel awful. Been there, done that. Seeing them face to face is taking a chance on getting hurt again but it also gives you the opportunity to look YOUR BEST and show him what he's missing. There's always the possibility of a negative experince or you may surprise yourself and come away from the experience feeling much better. I spent 6 months in NC simply because I was afraid to confront her and my 'best friend'. But in the end I'm glad I did. Link to comment
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