Losing my girlfriend

[Saddened1607306444]

Its now 4:05pm in Hawaii, and I just came back from saying my last goodbyes to my girlfriend of 3 years and her parents with which i grew attached through the years. I feel like total crap and feel like just busting out and crying. I loved her so much and would do anything.........anything to make her happy even at the expense of my own family (mom, pops, and bro). We always had are little arguments and such before, but we both loved each other so much so, that these little arguments never really interfered with our relationship. We were best friends, sex life was good, and both are families got along fine. My gf, well.....i guess now i can call her my ex, tells me that one of her coworkers at work thinks she cute. Being that she's had only 2 boyfriends all her life (and she's 21, i'm 23) she feels that she wants to get to know other guys and stuff, while i'm left in the dust. I've had only one more gf than she had bfs and yet she doesn't want to go with life not having known how other guys are. Its soooo unfair though, nothing was wrong with our relationship but she feels that she wants to see other people (most common shit girls say). We both ended up crying today, me being also very upset, confused, sad, and frustrated. Why do girls do this to guys? I don't know what else to say but I feel so sorry for others that are in the same boat that love their gfs but get totally disrespected.

[aaron1607306444]

yo man...hear ya. same shit goes down for all of us. i logged on to this site cause i felt bad about what happened with me and my girl...but it is always the same thing. don't sweat it...you are the man, and there will be plenty of other girls. and all that jazz...but you can't rely on someone else for your happiness...you got to dig deep and find out what you're really here for...and it isn't to get all wrapped up in some chick so she can feel suffocated and eventually trash you. go out there and make the world a better place, and the real love of your life will recognize.

[zippitt]

Amen bother Aaron, 8)

[Saddened1607306444]

Thanks Aaron. Dude you're one strong mutha f__ka! Wish I was strong as you man. I'm trying to get over this day by day man. Still hurting real bad inside, like a dull fork in the heart, but, shit, thats life right? There's so many girls out there in the world for all of us for the taking. We just got to keep our composure after breakups and persevere. Shit, that great girl for each and all of us is right around the corner. In the mean time we just got to hold our heads up high, drink a beer and forget the ugly past. This chapter of the book is over and shit, time to move on to the next. Thanks and good luck yourself.

[king8]

It's like looking in a mirror, reading your stories. I'm going through the same shit right now. I was with my girl for two and a half years. Her family was my family and my family was hers. We had our fights like everyone else but our love for each other seemed to always prevail. Well that all changed this past Xmas. All of my friends went to New Orleans for Xmas and New Years this year and asked me to go. I decided I would stay home with my girl and spend the holidays with her and her family. The day after Xmas she quit returning my calls and wouldn't speak to me. She would tell me she found someone else and hang up on me. So I lost it... I had nobody to turn to and I had nothing but time on my hands. I felt like I was dead and I really didnt want to live anymore. This went on for about two weeks before we actually had a long talk. It didnt solve anything, it just hurt me more. She would keep calling me for favors, and she would call me for help, but all the while she was still seeing this other guy. I tried to be her friend but it didnt work. I went to her house and she had all of his pictures where mine used to be. She would come to me with all her problems but he still had the benifit of having her. I can't do it anymore. it hurts to even talk to her. So I have to just walk away and put it in the past. Since the split, I've been working out again (stopped when I met her) and taking the time to feel good about my self. It helps so much to take care of yourself and to treat yourself right. Iv'e been out to the clubs and could have been with a few girls but I cant get her out of my head. I feel like I'm doing something wrong whenever a girl talks to me or asks me to dance. Now that I know she's whoring herself to strange guys, I dont feel quite as bad. She almost seems dirty to me now. My best advice is 1.) If its over, it's over, dont try to be friends. 2.) Be good to yourself, It's only gonna get better. and 3.) Surround yourself with your friends and people that love you. I feel better just writing this knowing that someone else is going through it as well......Stay safe and keep your head up....

[mikeyc]

I'm going through the same thing now. 2 days ago I found out that my ex (split up 2 weeks ago) is seeing someone else. I know the guy! On our first ever date to a club he tried to chat her up (2 and a half years ago), she said she didn'f fancy him but look what's happened now! I miss her so much and every minute of every day I think about what he is doing with her... She's MY GIRL!!

So many feelings going through my head:

- I'll never find anyone as beautiful as her - she was so attractive all of my friends asked how the hell I ended up with her (i'm not the most attractive guy in the world)

- I remember what it was like when we first started dating - sex all the time, everywhere... THEY ARE DOING THAT NOW!!!

- What I want more than anything else is for her to get hurt by this guy then come crying back to me - she can go to hell!

- I wish my friends lived here, all the friends I had, I met through her and now they don't want to know me. I sit at home every night thinking about what she is doing with that bastard! This is a living hell.

[king8]

You sound like me brother, The shit that goes on in my head about what she's doing kills me everyday. As much as I try to not think about it, I cant but help to. It doesnt make it any easier that she still calls me all the time. I wish for the same thing as you. For her to realize that she messed up big time and that she has lost the greatest thing in her life. I know it will come cause I can hear it in her voice. She's not happy and she cries to me still. I just want her to beg so I can say HELL NO... Just remember that you gotta bounce back 100 times stronger. Hit the Gym, get healthy, and take care of yourself. She will see that you arnt lost without her and She will be jealous. Than the balls in your court. You have the power to say "go to hell" And the satisfaction of knowing that she is jealous, and that she cant have you again is a good feeling. Work hard on yourself and good things will come. It takes time, so be patient. Stay busy and keep your head up.....

[mikeyc]

Sounds like you're switched on. I'm going to try and get fit again. Before I met her I was kickboxing 3 times a week and hitting the gym every other day - then it stopped and all my time went on her.

I've tried exersize but I feel so weak, I don't eat well - seem to have lost my apetite. Perhapps that will return with time.

Bottom line: Life goes on, there's a huge world out there and so many other problems (like we're on the brink of war) that make our problems seem insignificant. There's also a whole lot more fish in the sea and even though we can't see it happening now, we'll probably meet someone else in time. Christ, my mates used to class me as the stud of the group, what the hell happened to that? What have I turned into?

[king8]

It will take some time to get back into that "single" mentality but in time it will be just like the old days. Runnin the streets with your Mates, not a care in the world. The same thing happened to me when I met my Girlfriend, all my time was invested in her and I quit eating right, So when we did finally split, I felt like crap. Start eating a little bit more each time you eat and try to eat a little healthier. Like I said before, you have to come back 10 times better. When she sees you back in shape and with a girl more beautiful than her she will feel like shit and and than you hold the power, you will be in control. She will see what she lost and she wont handle it too well. My Ex keeps calling me cause shes miserable and that gives me the motivation to keep bettering myself. I keep thinking of how she hurt me and it gets me going. Ive been having a blast with my Mates meeting new girls, working out, and just hangin out. She sees all this and I know its killing her, even though it was her that decided to leave me. They cant bare to see you move on. They want you to beg for it back. But if you show them no pain you wont be hurt anymore. Keep me posted.

[mikeyc]

I've always wanted to put on a couple of stone of pure muscle. Now, for once in my life, I have the time, I'll have the money as soon as the sale of my house goes through (luckily it was all in my name) and I certainly have the motivation.

One thing has changed now... Last night I spent 2 hours searching every corner of my house for reminders of her, pictures, postcards, love letters, Valentines cards, teddy bears, clothes, EVERYTHING was thrown out. I feel better now. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. A new chapter in the future bestselling novel that is Me.

Thanks King, u rule!

[zippitt]

It does get better, its been two months since we broke up and my ex has been getting in contact with me. She's pissed because of all the changes that I have been making since we broke up. She is jealous because of how I go out, have fun, and meet new people which I never did when I was with her. I also neglected my workouts when I was with her. Now I have been to the gym consistantly. She has been checking when I go, she even told she was checking, laugh. She made me stronger by dumping me and now she is trying to work her way back. I still love the girl, but I so badly want her to ask if we can get back together now so I can so NO WAY. It's quite funny, being dumped does have it's advantages. As long as you try to better yourself, everything else seems to fall in place.

[Saddened1607306444]

Its been one hell of a two weeks. I started this message back on Martin Luther King Day when I broke up with my girlfriend (she breaking it off with me and suddenly, mysteriously going out with one of her coworkers) It was hell for me! I'm just following up of what I wrote before. After about three days after we had broke it up, she calls me and wants to get back with me saying that this guy (her coworker) wasn't what she expected him to be after one ***en date to the movies. She saying he was a dork and this and that and that she wants me back. Well me being hurt and confused told her off and said "no" to her. (She followed me around in her car that day, as I stopped to park and told her "no") She cried and cried in front of me and stuffs but left me after I told her to stop following me. Three days later, she calls me again and asks me again to get back with her........this time I accept because in my heart I really wanted to get back with her. This is the most stupid thing I ever did. When I get back with her and stuff I hear from her that she slept with her coworker friend.....not once, not twice but 3 times! She tells me that when I told her "no" the first time (the time where she followed me around in her car) she felt that suicidal and that she needed something to forget about me when she was the one to break it off with me anyway. But anyway needless to say, I'am not with her. She is such a confused person! When she is with me she wants the other guy, when she's not she wants me. She should just go to hell, because I have been there already too many times this week. I would have done anything and everything for her had we been together. I loved her and everything was going good for three years. She just had a change of heart or something. I still don't know whats bothering her and why she is so confused about being with me? Right now, I just don't care! I will never take her back ever. She caused me soooooo much pain, grief, anxiety, sleeploss, weight loss, and I still haven't recovered from depression yet. But as we all go through this we have to keep our heads up high no matter how terrible things are. Better days are in front of us! Thanks for all the replies.

[NEBO]

"there's only one (censored), with many faces"

 

there're plenty of other (censored) out there fellas, don't let them get to you!!!!

BE STRONG!

my ex cheated on me with her super-dooper, i was crushed etc, acted like fairy-floss. she LOVED it. i can only imagine the reinforcement her self-esteem must have gained seeing me hurt. (for the female, a male's pain is the barometer for her own self-worth)

i give up, despite the pain, and get on with my life, have fun with friends, start all my hobbies again, start working out again, buy new clothes. i'm getting there...

she hears of this (or must've seen me or something) coz one day outta nowhere i get a call on my mobile. it's her. i just watched it ringing for ages, and then i made the fatal mistake.

i answered the phone.

she's blubbering and wailing, "oh i miss you" "i need to be with you" blah blah blah...and like a WEAK CHUMP she eventually broke me. i took her back. she was back with the other (censored) the VERY NEXT DAY, it took me two months to get her out of my hair after that. i am disgusted at the memory of my weakness over a mere woman.

i got some closure when i cornered her with him, when she swore she only wanted me etc, was getting money off me etc but was getting hot beef injections from him

i put them in fear of their lives, they didn't feel so (censored) sure about playing games with me then. my friend's backed me up, their little gang were terrified. i got my balls back, i had some male pride back.

i was on top of the world, healthy, happy, in touch with friends and family again, having a ball meeting new girls.

 

NEVER want the woman back. women want those who want themselves. If YOU wanted yourself and valued yourself, you wouldn't put up with ONE MOLECULE of their s hit. so DON'T DO IT!!!

 

If you don't want them back and want to be over them ASAP:

"Be happy with yourself, focus on yourself and your own happiness"

If you do want them back: Be happy with yourself, and focus on yourself and your own happiness

 

as for myself...i am just coming to HATE them more and more with every passing day. i got no respect for anything as soulless, callous, heartless, merciless, mindless, and EVIL as a female. If you're female and reading this i hope that Alpha Male you're swooning over takes you for a ride, does disgusting things to you, cheats on you, then kicks you to the kerb. even then you'll still want him back, in preference over that quiet guy that would devote himself to you for life.

 

earnestly awaiting the development of an artifical womb....

NEBO

[mikeyc]

Alright Nebo!!!! PMA (Positivie Mental Attitude)

Not too sure about the every woman is the same thing. I used to date an angel, she was cute, sooooo nice to me and had a heart of gold (she still does). But one day I realised I just didn't fancy her any more, there was no "spark", so I had to break it off. I did have the decency to wait 3 months before dating someone else (the girl that just dumped me), unlike my current ex, who waited a week and a half!! There are girls out there who care, you just have to keep looking.

Does seem to me that the nice guys always get hurt the most. I know a few (censored) that use women, cheat on them and treat them badly and they always seem happy, never once seen one of them distraught over a break-up.

[Saddened1607306444]

Good ***en question? Why is it that nice guys always finish last and that those mother ***ers that treat their women like shit are happy? I mean I consider myself as a nice, down to earth person, and I somehow my ex just doesn't see it. Maybe its just that when you're always the nice guy, its like the girls just keep expecting that from you and take it for granted. And its also like if you can't go beyond the niceness that you're already giving your women she gets bored of you and shit. But when the bad guys treat their women like shit, their women in the back of their mind hope that they change and treat them nice. I don't know about you guys but I'm just so ready to hang up my nice guy image and be one of those mutha phuckahs who slap their bytches up.

 

I don't know what to do? I just don't. I just want a girl that would reciprocate the nice things I do to them and someone I can trust. Thats all I ask nothing more? Am I asking for too much? Where are you Ms?

[mikeyc]

Guys.... Not sure if this was the right thing to do, but it felt soooo good.

Last week I heard from an old flame that I haven't seen in 3 years. I saw her for about a week while travelling (she's soooo hot!). Anyways, she is living in London at the moment but flying out to live in Spain for a while on Thursday. It just so happens that I was in London last night (complete coincidence) and I told her I would meet her for a drink... We got quite drunk and she came back to my hotel room, WHAT A NIGHT! No relationship, no ties, just sex and lots of it! My confidence is back... Broken Mikey has left the building! The old Mikey has returned!

It's been 3 weeks since I was dumped and this is the best I've felt since it happened. Maybe it's time for us good guys to try being bad for a while. I don't mean treat women like crap, just sleep around and don't have relationships... fun fun fun! Think maybe someone up there still likes me.

There is one more thing I've been thinking about... I kinda wish my ex could find out what I got up to, I know it would upset her but I'm not going to lower myself to her level... We're better than them lads!

[AmazingRando]

Over the past week, I've been in the process of being dumped by my girlfriend of two and a half years. The pain has been excruciating, and unforuntately I haven't really had many people to turn to about this. I've surfed the net and found all kinds of articles, only one of which was helpful (on this site). But, it wasn't until I read Saddened and King8's posts that I finally started to feel like I wasn't alone. My story isn't really that different that either of their stories. My gf and I had been together for two and a half years. In the first year of the relationship, things were rocky and we took a break a few times, once where I saw someone else, and twice where she did. Both of us had limited relationship experience so we made a lot of mistakes, but she was making the bigger and more hurtful mistakes. So, I didn't invest as much in the relationship as I normally would to keep from being hurt, but stayed loyal and worked on the relationship. It paid off in that over the past year, things have been really good. We're best friends, the sex is amazing, and we have been totally successful in living together for over a year. Of course, that's not the whole story. What I didn't realize is that she had come to think that the buffer I had put between the two of us was just the way I was and she wanted more. I didn't know she felt that way, but I started being more myself in the past few weeks because things were going so well. However, at the beginning of the year, a new guy started at her work. As you would expect, she became friends with him. She got involved with him trying to help him out of a bad relationship he was involved with but didn't have the balls to get out of. My gf (or ex I guess) is much hotter than this guy's gf, so when the opportunity came long to have this sweet, hot girl help him get out of his terrible relationship, he went after her with everything he had (he's a total love leech). Amazingly, it worked and my gf totally got into this guy (I had this prick!). Once things started to develop between her and that guy, our breakup started. She said she didn't see that she could be with this guy forever (but could with me), but she was really interested in him. She said she would want to be with me, but she didn't think she was going to be as happy with me as she wanted to be (due to my distance - which she mistakenly thought was my nature). Still, she was unsure. She didn't want to give up on us, but couldn't deny her feelings for him. This past weekend, she went out of town with him where they ended up screwing as you would expect. She came back and told me that she really wanted to be with him. It crushed me. How could she chose to be with such a piece of crap guy over me?? I explained how she was being used by this guy to help him get out of his relationship and being used by him for the sex. I also reminded her of what we had and what she was throwing away for something she knew wouldn't be forever. She told me she hadn't realized it could be that way and was confused. She said she had to think things over. This whole time, it's been insanely hard. I can't sleep, can't eat and have been breaking down whenever I think about her (and especially when I think about that piece of crap screwing my baby). This morning, she told me that even though this guy is great, he's not all she thought he was (no, really???). The fun of the weekend trip is wearing off and now she's thinking she might want to give our relationship a real go (something I had proposed to prove to each other that we can have a great relationship - that the way things had been wasn't normal due to me). It's so hard to think about turning her down if she dumps him, but I feel like a tool waiting around. I mean, I really love her. She's my best friend and I'm certain we could be an awesome couple. Though I still don't have any answers, seeing the posts from the other guys in this thread has given me a window into my future - what things are going to be like in a week or two and how other people are dealing with the same ordeal I am. I'm so glad to not feel alone, and things don't seem as bleak as I thought. Still, I don't know what to do. Should I just end things and give up any hope of being with her (my best friend and someone I hoped to marry one day), or should I give it a bit of time since it looks like she'll get over this thing with this guy and would be willing to really concentrate on our relationship? I don't want to give up early and regret it for the rest of my life, but waiting hurts and sets me up for even more pain.

[zippitt]

Sorry for the pain man. It doesn't sound like your relationship is totally lost, but you guys need a good one on one. I might ask her what she wants out of the relationship, and you in turn tell her the same. Ask her if she needs some space, or suggest you two take a break for a little while. It may be hard as it sounds like she is the only one who is not sure of what she wants. Give her the time, she "should" realize what she is missing with out you and drop the scum ball in a second. I say "should" because this is all a risk, there are no guarantees. As for her sleeping with this guy, that will be one of the hardest things for you to deal with. I can speak for most of the guys here, but when we think of our ex with another person...my god it's one of the worst gut wrenching feelings. So the second you find yourself thinking about it, change the subject to something positive. Don't worry, you won't just forget it no matter how hard you try. Just so you know some girls will cheat on their boyfriends when they are looking for some emotional support, when they are feeling low or unloved, confused, empty, or even depressed. It's not an excuse but you must understand where they might be coming from. When you talk to her see if you can get an idea why she slept with him.

[AmazingRando]

Thanks for the encouraging words zippitt. Life can be stranger than fiction and that's the way it's been since my original post. After some one on one discussion, she recognized that she needed to make a decision as to whom she wanted to be with, if anyone, so that we could get out of this pit of dispair and on with our lives. We set a timeframe of deciding by this coming weekend, roughly. However, it all may turn out ok in that my theory that this guy was a real loser was confirmed yesterday when he said some really messed up stuff to my ex with the intention of hurting her because he knew it would hurt me (can you believe that??). Thus, he is kind of taking care of himself. Her feelings for him were strong, so she's having a bit of trouble accepting that this guy is what I said he was, but I'm sure she'll come around. Even if she didn't want to be with me any longer, I want to see her as far away from this guy as possible. He's big trouble. The problem is of course, that I can't demand she get rid of this loser, or she'll interpret that as me bossing her around and being all needy and controling. But, I'm afraid to stand back and let her figure things out. I'm very worried that she won't end things with him until he really hurts her and/or goes back to his ex (which he's already said he's thinking about), and thereby confirming he was using her (which he has also eluded to). At this point, I'm way more worried about her than me.

 

As for her having sex with him, I think I do understand her situation. Even though I was starting to get more invested in our relationship, I had put a lot of distance between us, and we had relaxed our relationship so that we could see other people. So she really wasn't cheating. I think she liked all the attention she got from this guy - attention that she wasn't getting from me. I think she also liked being able to rescue him. It made her feel needed, whereas I am very confident and independent and don't need rescuing (the irony is that she doesn't respect guys that need rescuing). I think she was definitely attracted to him, and he was putting on his very best. Couple all that with going out of town and having a very romantic weekend, and I can see how it would happen. She did wait for a few weeks and tons of dates before she did it with him, so I don't think it was just to get laid or to hurt me or anything. I think it was fairly well intentioned. It was just poor judgment on her part to be with that guy (I can't hold that against her too much - we've all made mistakes in being with people we shouldn't have). It's really the other decisions that upset me. It was poor judgment that she didn't resolve things with me before getting involved with him, and it hurts the she didn't realize what she was throwing away until she got well into things with him. And it was really lame that she couldn't keep her pants on for a few days longer. Meanwhile, like you suggested, I just try to keep my mind from thinking of that piece of crap screwing her. All of this is painful, but that thought is like a knife in the heart. I just hope that she gets away from this dude soon before she really gets hurt. I'm just trying to do what I can to help and not hurt the situation while keeping myself a bit protect from getting my heart crushed again. A tough balancing act, but we'll see how things go. Thanks for the advice and encouraging words.

[Spyder]

Hey Guys, My girlfriend of three years broke up with me last Monday, she said that she needed time to be herself again, we had been together since she was 16 and now that she is older she wants to be free, This is the worst possabile pain, it hurts so much, I keep telling myself that i have these little theme songs like Ozziy Ossbornes "No more Tears" and "on the road again" for the time being i have to stay in the same town as her till i finish up my winter semester of school and then Im heading to Victoria BC I ve got a job waiting for me there Bartending, Im also selling my truck I hate driving it because she was always in it with me. so in stead Ill buy a street bike , one last note does any one out there find it really hard to listen to any kind of music? I find that any and every song is relatable to my love for Laura and they are always talking about the one that got away, Man I would trade all that I am to have her back.

 

 

Hurtin in Canada.

[mikeyc]

Funny you should say that about music... Yes, if I listen to songs that I used to listen to with my ex then it does make me sad. However, certain music makes me feel better. I made a few CDs with songs carefully selected... No sad, slow songs but all upbeat songs that you can dance/sing to - songs that make you happy and not think about her.

 

It's all very recent for you mate and it makes me sad knowing how you are feeling - you are experiencing some of the worst pain you will ever experience but believe me (and everyone else that has posted in this forum) it DOES GET BETTER! Just read a few more posts and take note of the advice that people have to give, it really helps.

 

Your new job and a change of location will help a lot to take your mind of her. Just try not to spend too much time alone and keep yourself occupied... sports help a lot.

 

Good luck pal.

[Saddened1607306444]

These past few weeks have totally changed my life. I don't know if for the better or worse but it has changed my whole perspective on relationships. From the last post which was about 3 weeks I have gone from heaven to hell to heaven and then to hell again. Since breaking up with my girlfriend in Hawaii that I have just fell so deeply in love with these 3 great years. I would just like to recap on what I have wrote before. In a nutshell this is what happened since the last post. She breaks it off with me the first time and later calls me to get back with her. I agree (I don't know why, but I do). I still had so much feelings still for her. We are together for a short while because after taking me back and things start to get normal again she starts thinking about her coworker that she had sex with while we were broken up, and feelings start to conjour up for him. She tells me yet again that she's confused about us. So she ends up going back with him and leaving me in the dust. Meanwhile I'am again frustrated, angry, depressed, sad, etc. So, I start to go out with just any random girls that I happen to bump into clubs, and the like. I decide to start a relationship with this girl a good friend introduced me to. We go out dating and having fun. A week passes by and I start to think about my ex. This girl that I was with was just not what I had in mind, and the more I tried to forget my ex with her, the more I missed my ex even though she put me through hell. I don't know if anyone ever felt like this before but its a stupid thing to feel. I mean there are times I just wanted to slap my own self for feeling the way I do for my ex. So what happens is I break off this relationship with this girl. Meanwhile again, my ex happens to e-mail me about a two days after I broke it off with the other girl, saying that she's sorry and that she wants to make it work this time around. So stupid stupid me, I again want to give it a try and make it work. So again we meet with each other and this time around more drama. At this point, both of our parents just do not like us, her mom, not fond of me at all anymore, and my parents not so crazy about her either. Plus the fact that she's so close to the mom that she tells her every little thing that we argue about.......stuff thats not necessary to tell her mom. Stuff that will only make it tougher for the mom to think of me as a good person (which i damn well think I am) Anyway to make a long long drawn out story short, this friday 3/8/03, we again break up. We get into this heated argument which sends me swearing at her with reckless abandon because she continues to talk to the guy, even helping him with a job at her sister's work place when the whole purpose of getting back was to fix things with us internally and to heal the relationship. I was soooo mad at her still calling this guy so we ended up breaking up again for the third time. One for calling this guy and second because of our parents not liking each of us. Its a lost cause. I just really wished, hoped, prayed that we could have worked it out. Because although I hate her for what she's done to me, I can't hide the fact that she was special, and that no one can replace her and that I loved her. I hope she is happy. I'am not, and its going to take a lot of patience and God to get me to love again as I loved her. Right now its 1:02 in the morning and I have learned from this experience. No more tears.

[probably1607306452]

I know how the person who started this discussion is feeling right now. Well...let me tell you a little something about women. They don't want to hurt you...but they do it, unintentionally. They need to be loved, cared...called up very often and told...that you love them. However, NOW THIS IS THE CATCH...you cannot do this too often. If you do this too often, they WILL take you for granted. Not because they are evil or selfish...but they need affirmation...they need to know that you are always there for them. Now this is where your dignity and ego will get hurt. You need to keep them at bay...keep a certain distance...LET THEM KNOW THAT THEY CAN LOSE YOU AT ANY POINT!!! Follow the supply/demand of economics.

 

I am currently in a long distance relationship and don't know what to do anymore. But let me tell you one thing. The right girl is the girl who knows what she wants. THE RIGHT GIRL IS THE GIRL WHO KNOWS WHAT SHE WANTS. THEN, when she gets together with you...she is yours FOREVER! TRUST ME. Don't take fickle headed girls who DUMP you when they get called cute in the office. That is sick and immature. I know what I want...now I need a girl that knows what she wants!

 

My girlfriend is an above average looking girl. I find her very beautiful ofcourse...but then again, that is love...and not rational thinking. Anyway, when I get told that I am handsome or cute or sexy, I don't call my girlfriend up and let her know that I want to end it.

 

Pick up yourself man...you're strong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (and from what I can tell, it is her loss) 8)

[disruptors]

Hey man I totally understand what your feeling, I just broke up with my gf after 3 years coming up in april, and she basically ended it more or less for the same reasons. She said she got confused and at first a month ago she told me she had a crush on some guy in her university lab, I didnt think it was anything because we trusted each other but I guess it made her confused at who she was and what life was outside of our relationship. I guess last 2 weeks ago while we were talking on the phone, just about to say goodnight, she brought it up and said she was really confused, and that If I had sometimes thought of dating other girls, and I did but when it came to us i didnt care, so she was basically hinting for a break, but also I am her first serious boyfriend, where I have had 2 before her, so in a way I know she wants to experience life, and man I know it must hurt. It feels like there is no tomorrow, but you just have to talk it out with friends and family at this time. If your girlfriend and mine were meant to be we will find a way back, but the best thing is to give them time, and I know you probably think or know what you want and so do I but you owe it to yourself to be with someone that wants to be with you at the moment. I am really pissed that she just broke up with me and now talks to that guy everyday, but you know what, they will know if you and me are the ones for them. Just think about it this way, would you rather have them question what they could have done later down the road? Inevitably breakups happen if someone in the relationship is unsure or wants to experience more, even though they know what they had was so great. So man hang in there, I'm taking it day by day, and It hurts alot, but hey your still here and I'm still here. Just let time pass and see how it goes. =o)

[disruptors]

Guys just reading more and more of this, makes me think SH$T life sucks for all of the NICE GUYS. Sometimes I feel so strong from my recent breakup decided by of course, my girlfriend, and other times like most of you, it feels like LIFE is paused for eternity, until you can get her back. The past few weeks I've called her, reasoned with her, she even asked me to get back with her the first week and I said NO because I thought of her having feelings for this other guy (Partly the reason why we broke up, but mostly cuz she was confused) and wanted to make her pay, and how funny it is that the week after that it was me driving over to her house, getting her to get off the phone with the GUY, to ask her to take me back. Of course, she didnt and I regret for not saying yes that time, but also in another sense I think if we did get back together we would have ended it later on down the road, no matter how good things would seem the first week, months, or years. I am really messed up right now, some times during the day I blank out and go into total depression mode, and then get better, and then back again. I Swear sometimes I feel like losing my mind. And I have in ways, this past week I asked my ex girlfriend what she did on the weekend, and she told me she went to the GUYS house, so right then of course it hurt alot, and so I asked her what was going on with him and her, and she said they were just FRIENDS, and so I asked another question that drove her furious and I understand I guess. I asked if they had started making out and all that, because she told me she and him had feelings for each other, even though she tells me she still LOVES me but just isnt ready to be with me. But yeah she got really mad, and said like many times before since we broke up, "Why do you always have to bring US up!!!" YOu know what i've noticed from trying to get back with her and asking her all those questions? I'm just driving her away, making her get further from me, so even if there is a chance in the future there would be none. Anyways, I guess today was the first official day of the breakup, because I have been lying to myself this past few weeks, and I still do but just not as much, I just know that If i can make it through this any of you can do it too, no matter how much PAIN you feel. I just feel bad for venting so much at her, saying all these mean things to make her feel guilty, when I now know that the best way to make her feel like that is to act like the better person, to be normal, to go about your life as it would have been while you were with her, but even better. GIRLS like my girlfriend will come to realize sooner or later what she did, and I swear I want her back so bad right now as I speak, but I really have to let TIME decide that. As for all of you, I hope time will decide it too.