How to handle a Habitual Liar

[bravegirl04]

Hello, I am seeking some advice.

 

This man and I have only been together for a few months. We are not dating, but sort of act like it. I just got out of a 3 year long distance relationship, where i recently found out that he had another woman, and a 6 month old daughter by her. This new man comes into my life, and has treated me good. About a few weeks into us dating, he tells me one day that he is going to the gym. I heard him on the phone earlier that day, planning to go to the movies with another woman. So while he's gone i send him a text message and asks where he went. he tells me he went to play basketball at the gym. So later on that night, i keep asking him, where did you go? Are you sure you did not go to the movies? He tells me, "no i did not go, you need to trust me, i wouldnt do anything to hurt you." My girlfriend, (the one that inroduced us) asks him the same question, if he went. He told her no too. So i decided to let it go, maybe he really didnt go to the movies. A couple of days later, i find out unexpectedly, that he really did go to the movies. So i confronted him about it. I told him "wheither or not you choose to tell me the truth, it really doesnt matter, because i have already confirmed you went to the movies'. Now please believe, i am not upset he went to the movies, because we are not dating, i am just upset he lied to me about it.

Thats just one story. There have been many times where he has lied to me. I feel it's getting to the point where he is believing his own lies. Just yesterday, he lied about a situation, that made someone mad at me, just to cover himself up and make him look good.

So my question is, what do i do? He is a very good man and has a lot of potentional, but has already proven that he cannot be trusted. And as many times as we have discussed this, he never changes his ways.

[Daligal83]

You run far far away. He's already showing a huge red flag that you're not even dating yet. Move on. This guy is not the right one for you.

[crystalpistel11]

without trust you will never have anything . You need to forget all about this man and find somebody else . If he can lie to you [which is a big no-no] then he can do other things , Like what if you two did make it official , If he can lie to you , then he could probably cheat on you . And thats something you dont need ...Why would you even want to still talk to somebody who didnt tell the truth..Get out of the situation fast hun !

[dan39]

Here's a good way to handle a habitual liar:

 

'next!'

[rootcause43]

These contrarian statements say it all:

 

1) "He is a very good man and has a lot of potentional"

2) "but has already proven that he cannot be trusted"

 

He can't have potential if he is a liar and can't be trusted.

[TXStar7128]

I agree with everyone above...run far away fast!!!! I dated a liar...he didn't tell a lot of lies (well, maybe he did and just got away with it), but he told some BIG ones. It ended up ending our relationships. My mom talked to a therapist about it, and when my mom told her what this guy lied about, the therapist also said I needed to run. So, there you go. Run away. Its just like cheaters...once a liar, always a liar...especially if they rationalize it to the point where they begin believing their own lies and start thinking they arent doing anything wrong...