street Posted October 15, 2003 Share Posted October 15, 2003 After all these mixed messages from my ex, (the emails and voice messages of how much she loved me, even though she is with someone else) I finally told her to leave me alone!!! She has agreed….she wasn't being fair to me..she never said she wanted me back just said I don't know and yet all the time was still seeing the new boyfriend and making holiday plans with him! Im not being second best to him!!! I have to look after number one and after 5 months of split I was not being allowed to move on…I think she wanted to keep me on the end of that string!!! So I have thought of myself for once and I believe I have done the right thing, trouble is why do I feel so bad!!! Also if she is with someone else and happy and in love why does she even have to think about me and tell me these things!!! We did go out for 4 years but she broke it off and it has been 5 months! At least now I can move on trouble is I feel as if we have split again!! Perhaps I thought she was coming back to me, but to be honest I think she was just playing games!!! Link to comment
DREAM Posted October 15, 2003 Share Posted October 15, 2003 First of all let me tell you I envy you so much, you have so done the right thing it takes people years to do what you did. The reason I would say she has been doing this is cos she cant handle you moving on cos she cant see you with anyone else. Like they say "she don't want you, and don't want anyone else to have you" which your right its not fair on you. I guess you feel like this cos you know she wont be chasing you any more, deep down you felt as thought you still had her and not you know you don't. Don't be second best to nay one you deserve better remember that. You did the right thing. Wish I was strong as you!! Link to comment
street Posted October 15, 2003 Author Share Posted October 15, 2003 thankyou so much that really means alot, i know i have done the right thing but its still hard... deep down i think i thought we could get back together and it would go back to what it was when we were happy, but i know that could have never happened... just got to get myself happy, i know i can do it.. ur right i think she was thinking " i don't want him , but i don't want anyone else to have him" thats so selfish... her true colours are coming out!!! thanks for listening Link to comment
DREAM Posted October 15, 2003 Share Posted October 15, 2003 Hey no problem, Hey if she can move on why cant you? You need to think to your self, would it have ever been the same if you guys had got back together, knowing that she has been with another guy in between, its only been 5 months of your break up. She moved quickly. So you don't waist time too. As soon s you find someone she will get the picture. Link to comment
street Posted October 15, 2003 Author Share Posted October 15, 2003 to be honest, im moving on and i feel shes not...i know she has someone else but to be saying that to me doesn't make sense.. perhaps she is on a rebound who knows...i still care for her and want her to be happy, but thats his job now not mine... i think i have been too nice to her all through this...as when someone tells you they don't want you in their life anymore it hurts im happy being single for the moment, don't want to rush into anything..not quite ready yet...i think im doing things the right way wheres her im not so sure hey im only 25!! still young Link to comment
DREAM Posted October 15, 2003 Share Posted October 15, 2003 there you go your only 25.... so live it up your way. and she will eventually live it up her own way. Link to comment
street Posted October 15, 2003 Author Share Posted October 15, 2003 yeh ur right, were 2 different people now...i know you do hear the odd story about people getting back together but i think once you have split up its for good!! or at least treat it like that... one day who knows we may cross paths again.. im going to make sure i enjoy finding miss right!!! Link to comment
Luv_Suks Posted October 15, 2003 Share Posted October 15, 2003 M8 You definitely did the right thing. After 6 long months of contact back and forth between my ex, i knew I wasn't getting anywhere. First couple of months was a nightmare, I was the one to keep calling, needing answers etc, basically doing all the chasing, which now i know only serves to drive the other person further away. Sounds like your ex is behaving the exact same way, i.e. giving out so many mixed signals to keep you hanging on, which clearly indicates that she doesn't know what she wants yet. Its not your job to sit around and wait til she does make up her mind, you're absolutely right, don't settle for being second best or being her backup plan. By the last couple of months I got sick of getting weak and opening my heart to her everytime we did speak on the phone..only to have it rejected. Theres only so much that our hearts (and admittedly our egos) can take, there comes a point when we just have to start trying to heal ourselves and move on. While in contact with the ex, it definitely holds you back from doing that. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life but I changed my number 2 weeks ago. In all the time we've been broken up, there hasn't been a period of more than 2 weeks that one of us hasnt called the other. Now its been 2 weeks and counting, so every single day now is new territory for me..and changing my number means theres a good chance that she'll give up calling sooner or later and that really will be it. I know that I certainly won't be calling again. But in my heart now I've prepared myself to accept that because I know i have to move on.. Well, I wish us both the strength to continue forward with our lives, and to everyone else out there going thru the same s*** Kind Regards Link to comment
street Posted October 15, 2003 Author Share Posted October 15, 2003 looks like were in the same boat, she was contacting me through my work email which i couldn't change, but i did change my number... some how she got it though, so she must have gone to great lengths to find it out... ur right she doesn't know what she wants so she was happy to keep me there for when she decided, well i made that decision for her!! i wouldn't be surprised if in a months time, she is back again..but at least if she is i know she is serious this time and knows what she wants... and by then i will know what i want and it won't be her!!! hang in there cheers Link to comment
musicguy Posted October 15, 2003 Share Posted October 15, 2003 I'm in the same boat as you are...i haven't told my ex to leave me alone yet cuz I love her still and I'm in the whole "oh I hate her, she makes me mad, but I love her" kinda thing. Link to comment
meanlady Posted October 15, 2003 Share Posted October 15, 2003 Hi Street I admire your courage of doing so, you have plenty of self-esteem and you are doing the very right things! Take care Link to comment
kimg Posted October 21, 2003 Share Posted October 21, 2003 I know that it hurts right now but sooner or later you will see that this was best. Move on. If she loved you she would let you go and be happy. She is rebounding and isnt happy where she is right now. If she were happy she wouldnt be calling you. TRUST ME! I am a woman, I know. Cut her off completely. Maybe some years down the line you can talk and tell her about you new woman. Link to comment
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