need guy advice... is it my fault?

[MissJBug]

ive been in a 2 year relationship with my boyfriend. I hate when we fight... and we are so loving, i know where going to get married. he used to just say sorry to get rid of the fights, but now, he does the same as me and he doesnt call until i do. we havent talked to eachother besides when he asked if i got home ok and i said yes and we hung up. sometimes when we fight.. he says "stop being so crazy" ... i have a lot of family problems and he knows i hate it when he calls me crazy. he can call me any name in the book, just not crazy... it really really hurts me... and he did... and i broke up with him (regret it)... now.. we arent really broken up.. because we never go through with it... we cant live without eachother, but... the problem is... i always have to touch him and kiss him, he can never touch me first... whats his problem? (he isnt cheating so dont give me any info on that)... and I DOOOOOO tell him all the time... that he can touch me and he needs to... than he does one day and than never again... its like it goes through one ear and out the other... every time i tell him about it... we end up fighting and he says "im starting again"... what am i going to do guys... is he insecure... and WHY.,.. does he not want me to not want it when he does it... because ill love it if he does.... guys help me please!

[kamurj]

Well I can understand your problem, I have a similar one with my wife. I have to ask if he is an only child and if his family is not much of a touching or hugging family. You see my wife comes from that back ground and is not much on alot of contact. I understand your feelings, talk to him about it, he just might not be much on physical contact, but you need to talk and figure it out so you can deal better with it than I did. I'm currently separated and it dosent look good, but I only have myself to blame. If you really love him find out whats going on, its not an unusual situation, but you need to understand before you make catostophic mistakes as I did. I hope this helps.

[Ash]

I didn't think I was a touchy feely person, that is, until I started up with my girlfriend a couple of years ago. Turns out I had everything a bit wrong. I never used to initiate contact. I thought it was shyness, in reality I think it turned out to be lack of genuine affection. All that's changed for me now.

 

What I'm saying in a very round about way, is he may not feel for you the way you do for him. He may feel perfectly okay with things, he may want or need you to initiate things all the time, and that might work out fine. But think carefully if it's enough for you. He's not likely to change.

 

If you do intend to marry this guy someday, take a really close look at whether that's what he wants too, and whether it will always be okay for you if things stay exactly the way they are today. I almost hate to say it, but I doubt things will improve after you get married.