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This girl is really tearing me up

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There this girl who is my best friend and I have feelings for her and I'm pretty positive that she has feelings for me (she actually said once that she "can't get over me" even though we'ver never even really been together). So we got closer than ever for the first time over the summer and it was the first time I ever felt that there was any kind of recipricated feelings. But not long after that I felt as though she was constantly pushing me away and we havn't been as close as we should since.


So then a couple weeks ago she broke up with her boyfriend and we were close again. At least for awhile. Then her boyfrined came back into the picture (kind of) and we were kinda not close. So a few nights ago she called me late at night and we talked for a few hours but in the end, we were both unable to get out our feelings at all. We both quite obviously had things to say to eachother but it just wan't happening. But it certainly felt as though she was trying to reach out to me just a little bit and dropping hints of various sort.


So then she says she's gonna call the next night. Of course she doesn't. So I log online and shes on. But won't talk to me. How the hell am I supposed to take something like this. It feels like the closer I get the further I'm pushed away. The worst thing of all sometimes is the fact that her current boyfriend (I don't even know what their situation is I think that she may not be talking to me cause shes talking with him) is a lot like me and I just feel like a I am being replaced or something which really hurts.

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ShadeOfGreen, Perhaps "Friendship" is all this Girl will ever be able to offer you longterm. For whatever reasons.


You MUST be able to communicate with People when you are in a Relationhship. PERIOD.


I think you first need to communicate to HER your honest feelings towards her. Until you do this you can never know for sure whether in fact she indeed feels the same in return... and you can't operate on what YOU FEEL to establish this. What you FEEL or THINK has nothing to do with the TRUTH. Our emotions/feelings are oftentimes very misleading.


IF you come to find that you're just an emotional 'buffer' for Her when her boyfriend is out of the picture, (and I kind of get this impression... however I could be wrong)...then perhaps you should reconsider your association with her on all levels as rather toxic.


Few People ShadeOfGreen, actually hurt us intentionally... We are all just going through Life trying to get "Our Own NEEDS met". Unfortunately in this process we hurt People.

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I think BlondeAmbition said it well. You must open up your feelings towards her first. That is important.


People have emotions and sadly, they come with this thing called a defensive mechanism too. Without her knowing exactly where you stand, it is hard for her to react too. She might think that she could seem too "desperate" if she were the one to make the first move.


So, take a deep breath and do what you have to. Tell it to her. We await your good news.

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  • 2 weeks later...

hey there is this girl that i have liked for a very long time but i can not figure her out. i liked her a long time ago but then just started talkin to other girls. we have been friends for about a year now and im starting to think she has feelings for me. All of a sudden once i started falling for her again i find out so are like 5 other guys too. Somedays she will gave me all of her attention and flirt with me ALOT. So i just play it cool and i think she likes me but then she is flirting with other guys sort of and not paying attention to me too much. I like her too much to just give up so im not but can neone give me some advice as of what i should do. She knows i like her and she hinted to me that she kind of liked me too but i just cant figure her out. i want her so bad please help.[/b]

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Don't bother. She's not interested and she's messing with your head. I think that deep down, she loves the attention you give her but her romantic interest in you in dismally low.


Talking to her about your feelings and spilling your guts to this girl is just putting your heart on the line unnecessarily. Maintain a sense of dignity and move on. Don't call her. Don't message her. Leave her alone.


She's made things clear by not following through on her promises. C'mon... Do you really want a relationship with a woman who doesn't respond to you or call you back when she says she will?

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