Should i throw away the memorys?

[silent_cryer]

ive lost my man of 2 years and we are still friends but im not sure if i should

 

1. Throw away all the love letters

2. Throw away pictures of her even if we are frends, coz they hurt to look at

3. Throw away our friendship

 

in order to get over him and stop loving him should i do these things? i really dont want to throw them away and then have him come back to me, and i dont know if i should show my true love these things so he can understand how close i was to this previous person, and would it help to stp talking and being frends with him? i find it hard to be away from him, but most of all i find is hard imagining him losing his virginity to this person and i dont want to be around to hear him say he has, any help would be great...thanks

[duhast]

It really depends ... without doing the things you listed can you really let go of the relationship and move on? It's always hard to be away from the person you love, especially when those feelings aren't returned - but we tend to prolong our agony by holding on to hope as long as we can.

 

All I can suggested is ..

 

a) the love letters - if the feelings expressed in them still holds true then keep them, if the love is no longer there throw them away. At least if he does come back he'll have a reason to write more of them.

 

b) the pictures - how do they make you feel when you look at them? If they only increase the pain of being apart and make you miss him more, it's time to hide them, and leave them there.

 

c) friendship - this is the hardest one of all. The problem is two-fold especially if the relationship ended on somewhat respectable terms. For the person leaving, its a way to make them feel less guilty, at least in the interm. For the person being left, its usually a way for them to hang on in hopes you'll be a constant reminder to them and they'll come back.

 

For the most part, being friends with someone who you've shared alot of time with right after the breakup is difficult, if not impossible. If you spend the day thinking about them, wondering what they're doing, who they're with etc .. you're setting yourself up to be hurt when you find out the answer. The best thing to do is go your own way until those feelings start to fade, you may always love the person but chances are you won't always be in love with them - that's the best time to be friends again.

[Senna]

lf someone died would you throw away everything they ever gave you? l don't think so. why should an ex be any different? l know it hurts but maybe in 20 years time when you want to remember your past they might come in handy? For now just put them in a box where you won't see them. Always keep your love letters

[DealingWithIt]

I personally threw away all the "memories" when my ex and I officially broke up. I needed to take everything that reminded me of him out of my room and out of my life. Sure, part of me didn't want to get rid of it but in order for me to move on, I felt I needed to do it.

 

My ex and I are friends...sort of. When he asked me whether I kept all the cards, dried flowers, pictures, etc...I noticed that his feelings were sort of hurt but I told him why I had to.

 

I think that keeping all the memories will only hold me back.

 

Good luck

[justme1]

When you are stronger and about 20 years older and happy where you are and realize how foolish the past was...it's always fun to re-read that old hogwash.

Depending on the situation.

 

Place in shoebox and forget.

[Ashland71]

I keep everything. I can't throw things away so this topic is very close to my heart. I have a really bad memory and I like to look at old letters and boxes of momentos and it is like seeing them for the first time. I don't think that it is necessary to throw away everything that reminds you of someone to move on past a breakup. I really think that you might regret throwing things away if you decide to do that. I do think that putting things away in the basement, attic, the deepest darkest corner of a barely used closet for a couple of months might be a good idea. I tried to get over a particularly wretched breakup without removing any of the memory inducing items and I nearly went nuts. I was such a basket case and I kept wondering why I was so devasted. Finally it hit me that a little emotional distance might be healthy. Having these things in your face is like constantly reminding your self that things didn't work. It is just too depressing. Still that said I am so glad that I didn't throw away the letters he had written me, because now I can look at them and remember how great it was to be that person at that time and feel the way I did all over again. Time has made them just a bueatifull part of my past not something that haunts me. I really enjoyed reading your posting. I wish you the best of luck and hope that you decide not to try to throw away your memories.[/b]