cky1717 Posted October 13, 2003 Share Posted October 13, 2003 My best friend and I are the opposite sex...we've been really close friends and talked on the internet for hours, called eachother and hung out with eachother a lot. We have lots of things in interests. We did a lot of things together, and had lots of great memories....this was from Oct. of 2001, till now....Today, it seems like we've been falling apart, and she's the one whos pushing me aside....We dont have long internet conversations anymore, we dont stay up really late at night online or on the phone--I havnt called her house in about 6 months, and when I mention all of the things we like to do, she doesnt want to do them--or she just says, yeah and oh. I invite her to come over my house to hang out, but sometimes I think she just makes up excuses to say No. What should I do? Anyone please help!!! Link to comment
sara123 Posted October 13, 2003 Share Posted October 13, 2003 Maybe she's been busy lately...Maybe she's got a lot on her plate. It's probably best to give her the benefit of a doubt. If she's your best friend...maybe you should be open and honest on how you feel. Tell her you miss hanging out with her. Or that you'd like to talk more often. I'm sure she would understand...maybe she doesn't realize that she's hurting you by distancing herself. I think one of most important things in any relationship...is communication. Sometimes the truth hurts, but it's better then going on in life without knowing how the other one in the relationship is truly feeling. Link to comment
cky1717 Posted October 13, 2003 Author Share Posted October 13, 2003 Thanks Sara123, Well, I dont't know if shes been busy, because she's been on the internet today and the past week and I usually would just talk to her like I always do. But the thing is she's not the energetic talker on the internet as she used to be with me-- Could it be because of her boyfriend? She has a boyfriend who she loves a real lot, and they feel and I feel that they're gonna make it all the way together. However, all they do is talk on the internet to eachother, they dont nessesarily talk as much in person nor on the phone, but that could be just how they like to be together. I mean, her and I used to talk all night on the internet and maybe once or twice on the phone. All that is gone, and I miss that...But I've told her in the past before that I miss hanging out with her, and she said that she likes to stay home and talk to her boyfriend online-- she never used to do that, either she was up for it, or maybe just for some reason wasnt in the mood, or that she was busy or something. I've told her many times I miss that we're not close as we used to be. She seems to be closer to some other person, who is also her best friend, but shes known him for maybe a year longer than I ve known her..and mostly everytime he invites her to go over his house, or go out somewhere she says Yes. I would say about 75% of the time. Do you know any ways I can convince her to come over? To go out more? To talk to me more? Thanks again for your time Link to comment
sara123 Posted October 14, 2003 Share Posted October 14, 2003 I'm not really sure what it is...it could be that she's distancing herself from you...so she can concentrate on her boyfriend. Maybe she feels confused about her feelings when she talks with you. Or (I hate to say it) it's possible that she's growing apart from you...I've had friends that I've just grown apart with...and I know it hurts when they don't feel the same way you do. BUT you still gotta try to make it work. Are you friends with this other guy she's bestfriends with? If so...then maybe you all could hang out. Since she's always hanging out with this guy then maybe she'd agree to hanging out with both of you. Or maybe you could run into her some place she hangs out a lot. And strike up a conversation with her...and ask her if she'd like to hang out. If she says no...ask if you guys can hang out another time and if she still keeps making excuses...then I guess you have no choice but to be blunt...Ask her why she doesn't want to hang out anymore...and why she's doesn't talk to you like she use to? If she tells you she's busy..then ask her why she's busy all the time. That you guys haven't hung out in a long time, and that you feel like she's ignoring you. The truth may hurt...but at least you'll know the truth and you can move on. Sometimes when people are in love they don't realize that they are hurting people around them by ignoring them...OR if she knows she's hurting you and doesn't or isn't willing to change...then I think she's not a very good friend....You deserve better then that. Hope this helped Link to comment
froggprincess Posted October 14, 2003 Share Posted October 14, 2003 Sounds like you really care about this girl. Do you think you might actually like her? or are u sure that u just like her as a friend? it was just a thought, but i think what you should do is maybe do somehting she really likes to do together... like if she lieks a sport invite her to go play it sometime or something and if she keeps making jacked up excuses.. then maybe she really doesnt wanna be ur friend anymore... but hopefully... she will realize wut a great friend u are. Tell me how things work out Link to comment
cky1717 Posted October 16, 2003 Author Share Posted October 16, 2003 Yeah..but what do you mean shes confused about her feelings when she talks to me? But yeah, she did say that she was kind of busy...And no, I'm not friends with this guy she sbestfriends with...either is her boyfriend. And, I dont think I can run into where she hangs out, she doesn't tell me where she goes most of the time, I mean, it's her own business...but I know what you mean. I try to make conversations with her, all the time...like in person too, I dont know if its just me not knowing what to say to her...because for some reason its not the same between us anymore, or.....its just she doesnt want me to be her friend anymore?? I dunno why she doesnt talk to me like we used too, and im too nervous to ask her why...it might make things worse...shes my best friend and i'd do anything for her--same with the rest of my other friends..she gave me my first hug, and first "girl" best friend, it was like we clicked right away...But, if we do separate from being "bestfriends" i'll always remember the girl who changed my life, and she kinda did actually...cant forget her...shes probably 1 out of a million girls who would want to be close friends with me, and shes super nice too. I miss the times we used to have... Link to comment
cky1717 Posted October 16, 2003 Author Share Posted October 16, 2003 To: Froggprincess --- Yeah i really do care about her, she was my ultimate girl best friend...and I liked her once, but it did no good...and i like sticking to being friends for now, actually i'd be even more happier if we were still closer than we are now...And I try to do something we both like to do together...she says shes too busy...its probably becuase of school, ...you know it always is...yeah she likes sports, she likes volleyball and tennis, which I also enjoy...but why out of the blue whould she not want to be friends anymore?? im confused... Link to comment
froggprincess Posted October 16, 2003 Share Posted October 16, 2003 hey cky.... ok im not really sure whats going on but maybe she is tyring to be unclose to u because maybe she thinks u like her and she doesnt want her boyfriend to think your trying to get with her or somehting..most boyfirends dont like their girlfriends to have a best friend thats a guy. yeah i can deff tell that u ahve a lot of feelings for her.. from the way i hear it it kinda of seems like u actually like her.. even though you sed u dont.. are u fooling yourself? dont try to hide our real feelings.Maybe you cant let her go becvause u feel somehting more for her. And ebven thoughyou think this it total bull of what im saying now.. really stop to think what your feeling. and maybe u like someone else i duno but dont just try to cover what you might feel because in the end it will show anyways. I hope i'm helping you.. i really do. Because i was kind of in that situatuion before.. my x-boyfirned and my best friend (which was a guy) didnt get along and ended up getting into this hige fist fight.. and i wasnt about to lose my firned... and we ended up going out and it was a really good thing for me. So be careful about your feelings and dont try to hide them, once u figure that out then u can decide what to do with this girl, but first u have got to talk to her abvout this, if she is your best firned then you should be able to talk to each other about anything. good luck and keep me up to date. Link to comment
cky1717 Posted October 16, 2003 Author Share Posted October 16, 2003 im positive i dont like her..very, cuz i already have a girlfriend i just dont want my friend to be gone thats all Link to comment
froggprincess Posted October 18, 2003 Share Posted October 18, 2003 well do you ever think your feelings will change abiut this girl? do u think u will always want to be her firend? if so then you should just try to talk to her about it at least, just ask why u havent been haning out lately and see if she still wants to be good friends with you. Not many people wanna lose a friendship like that, good luck Link to comment
cky1717 Posted October 20, 2003 Author Share Posted October 20, 2003 no i dont like her, and no the feelings will never changed...shes just a friend that i miss being with. Link to comment
froggprincess Posted October 21, 2003 Share Posted October 21, 2003 alright well first have you tried talking to her about it yet? how did it go? if she understands then thats great cuz then u can work it out together. Maybe your girlfriend will help you with it. Does she know your friend? If she cant help then u should try to figure out a way to get her back to being close with u.. but first u need to figure out the problem. so i think the best thing to do first is to see if shes willing to be close with u again.... i hopeim helping you. If im not, im sorry Link to comment
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