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how could i possibly know?


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i have a major problem. i am bi, and i really really like this guy that i used to work with. we have become really close friends and we hang out alot. we kina like joke around and mess with each other, not sex, but he has accutally touched my croch while we were in the car, and i dont know if hes kidding or not. he says hes looking for a girl, but i have my doubts. we kidd with each other and will make our messenger names stuff like, " his name loves my name and stuff like that. i hate having to act like im joking because im not. i need to know how to tell if hes bi or not cause i want to have a relationship with him. pleze help

 

crazydd

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Does he know that your bi? I think that you guys should just have a serious talk (but make sure you let him know that your serious). You never know maybe he dosen't want a girl he wants a partner. But the talk will really help you out and see what gose from there.

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  • 4 weeks later...

I can't believe that you haven't gotten more responses to your post. There must be tens of thousands of gay and bisexual guys out there who have been through experiences similar to yours.

I'm curious about whether you've reached any sort of resolution yet. This is such a delicate situation that I don't think saying "just go for it" really is a practical answer. If he's interested, that would work out great! But if he's not, then not only do you not have him as a lover, there's a very real possibility that you will no longer have him as a friend. Of course, there is the argument that if he doesn't accept you as you are, then he wasn't much of a friend to begin with. But I am a bisexual guy who is very selective about who I tell, and I have people in my life who would certainly not be accepting of my sexuality if I were to tell them. That's my choice. What's yours?

I guess if I were in your situation, I might try to steer some of our activities into situations that were more intimate, without committing to anything. For example, I live in an area with a lot of natural hotsprings--great places to get naked together, maybe find an opportunity for me to touch him--in a friendly and non-sexual way, of course--and carefully measure his reaction. Or how about an overnight trip somewhere where you'd have to share a room? There are a number of ways you could use that situation to get a feeling for where this guy's at. If you want to be a little more obvious, drag him into a video store and rent some porn. The trick is to make your friend feel comfortable enough that HE will be willing to take the risk of throwing the ball back into your court. If he is bisexual, remember that he is just as nervous about coming on to you as you are about coming on to him, so it's kind of a game of passing clues back and forth, until somebody finally says, "OK, I'm going for it."

I'd sure like to hear how you're doing.

Best of luck!

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  • 3 weeks later...

The way I got my gf, I didnt know if she was straight or bi or lesbain. so I just came out as Bi, I just slipped into converstaions of ex girlfriends, nights out to gay clubs.. etc. It was the best thing I did, we're now together, madly in love and the happiest people in the world!

I'm not saying this will work, but drop subtle hints that you're Bi. If the guy is willing to even pretend to flirt with you he must be VERY comfortable with his sexuality (straight) or he is also gay/bi.

Good luck

Fox

xxx

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