Parents

[Sylivia]

I have now cut all ties with my parents due to flashbacks of sexual abuse, I have told them that I do not want to see them ever again, until Dad repents for what he did to me.

It's hurting me, I love them so much, and It's upsetting me.

To go back to them, means to deny it all happened.

We are supposed to Overcome not gain more stress.

Why is telling the truth and facing the truth so painful?

I feel so cruel for cutting my parents off like this, because I love them, but why should I continue to live a lie?

[ButterflyWrists]

Don't feel cruel, what they did was wrong. And you deserve better, they were supposed to love and protect you, not to take advantage and abuse you.

well done on cutting ties..

Have you had any councelling for this?

[Sylivia]

Cutting them off, meant also not seeing my Grand dad who loves me and believes me, but he lives with them, and It's tragic that the man who was such a father to me, has to suffer because I have cut them off.

If I write to him, I fear they will use him as piggy in the middle between me and them, and so it's best I just cut the ties, until they see sense, and admit it happened.

Thanks for your reply it's appreciated.

[ButterflyWrists]

Does ur grandad have his own phone? Or could you get him one, so you can still see him.. just because you wont talk to your parents, doesnt mean you cant talk to him, and if they use him as a piggy in the middle, then they really arnt very good parents, and you should completally ignor them..

 

im sorry you're having a hard time..

 

((((((Hugs))))))

[shes2smart]

There is no getting around the fact that some truths are painful. In the long run though, facing down a painful truth will harm you less than keeping up a pretty lie.

 

I have not had any contact with my parents for about 10 years due to issues of verbal/emotional abuse that just got to be too ridiculous to deal with anymore. When I first ended the relationship, it was very difficult. I felt very alone in the world and wondered if I was making a huge mistake. I had some very intensive therapy for 6 or 8 weeks (I had an established relationship with a counselor, so I just called her office and made an appointment), and that helped me get through the worst of it.

 

In hindsight, ending that relationship was the right decision for me. There is absolutely no need to allow people who hurt you to stay in your life...no matter who they are. If anything, I believe those who are family should be held to a higher standard of respect, care and compassion toward each other than friends or strangers.

 

Are you seeing a counselor? If not, I'd suggest to you that you might want to look into some sessions. You will need some support to help you through the next weeks/months. Cutting off your parents runs counter to pretty much everything we're taught, but if the relationship we have with them is harmful and toxic, it's healthy for us to end it.