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Dealing with not knowing


ksc010
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I have been dating someone on and off for over a year. He claims that he loves me and that I am the one that he wants to be with and that he wants to work towards getting married. Only problem is every time his ex comes around crying about the latest boyfriend that dumped her and says the she loves him and wants to be back with him, he tends to puch me away saying that he feels guilty. This last time it happened, he did it again just 2 days after he said he said he wanted to work towards getting married.

 

I just don't know what to do. I am not happy that he does this to me but it is pretty obvious he never dealt with the berakup with his ex. Any advice on what to do or how to handle the situation?

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what is he doing to push you away?

 

It might just be that he's the protective type that tryes to fix peoples problems, and get so cought up in that that his own priorites get pushed aside. I would be guilty of that on ocashion. If my friends have a problem then everything else gets pushed to the side. You just might have to except that he's friends with his ex. Does he do the same with his other friends problems? I don't have enough real info to give any real advice, but you need to talk to him and find out what he really is thinking.

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I literally have not seen him for more than 10 minutes in the last 2 1/2 weeks. Normally I would have no problem with him spending time with an ex but when we first started dating, he cheated on me with her. Now, we worked through that....it was over a year ago, but that is why I have a problem with it. She only comes back around when she finds out that he is happy with someone else...she can't let go. And that is what makes it hard for him.

 

I jsut feel that if he really feels the way he says he does, then he wouldn't treat me the way he is. He has said that I am the best thing that ever happened to him and that for once in his life he is truly happy.....if that were that case, why treat me like this?

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I think that he's just trying to make things easy on his ex. I don't know how to help you. You have to find some way to get him to look at things from your perspective. You probably need to have him help you look at things from his perspective too. Thats going to be hard for you becouse you're going to have to get rid of any preconsieved notions about whats going on and trust what he's telling you. You do have good enough comunication to be able to talk openly lik this right?

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He do have open communication but like you said it hard not to think about that past and what might be going on.

 

I understand the whole thing with making things easier for his ex but they broke up 2 years ago....this should have been dealt with then, not now.

 

I just really hope he figures it out before I've had enough and leave.

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