Seperated and miserable

[mealone]

I'm new to this and I'll keep it simple. recently me and my wife of several years have separated. We have been having problems for some time alot of it was my fault, I just didn't realise what was happening. I'm afraid I have driven her away and I am miserable about it. At first I figured that being apart was good and I kept trying to tell myself that it was better, but I was lying to myself. I realise that I love her more than anything but I'm afraid I have done too much damage to our relationship. She says that we might be able to work it out but I have a hard time reading her. I am willing to do what ever it takes to work this out, I really want her back in my life. She has always been and I realise now always will be the love of my life. HELP

[mealone]

yes I was very carless.... and I never saw myself doing the things I did. All the things I told myself I would never do I did, and I'm now stuck dealing with my mistakes. I really messed up and deeply regret it.

[russia]

separation is not the end, yet. divorce isn't either. only death is. so you can always hope.

 

if you can seek marriage counselling together, that will help a bit. if she agrees to see one with you, even better. however, even if she doesn't, you must go. and get one that is really good (proven track record of success, word of mouth from pals).

 

and read that book about "Love Bank" concept:

link removed

 

time is now very very short on your part. you can't change within this short period of time, nor should you, unless YOU want to change it for YOURSELF. changing for another person is always FAKE. but you can make realistic promises based on your good points (with the help of your counsellor) to secure her for a little while longer.

 

why is the time very short? because she is now very vulnerable to being attracted to another person. once she falls for another, it's most likely goodbye. so don't let the separation go on for too long.