what road should I choose

[brosiamarie]

Ok here is my situation I ended a close to five year relationship cause I am unsure of what I want I was 18 when we first got together and now am 23 a little more older and less nieve I hope anyways I my life has come to a fork in the road and I need advice which road to take. Theres the safe one which envolves me getting back with my ex and hopfully being able to work out our problems and pretty much have my future planned out cause he will most likley but house soon and then start a family and theres that route then there is the road of unknown starting out on my own struggling but being independent and having room to grow. I have doubts for both decisons and am afraid of choosing the wrong path. I wish I knew what I wanted. Any suggestions please.

[emdeesea]

I have the strong belief that there are too many marriages for all the wrong reasons.

 

First of all, IMO 23 is too young to be married. And marrying for "safety and security" is the wrong reason to do so. Why do you think the divorce rate is around 75 percent?

 

If you have doubts now, wait a few years. There's no law that says you HAVE to get married. Be engaged for a while - a long while. And see what happens. But don't do something just because it's expected of you. That's a bad reason to do anything.

[brosiamarie]

When I ended the relationship I felt scared, alone, sad and a sense of relief,but at the same time unhappy because of all the memories I would be walking away from and knowing there would never be any more to come between the two of us. I know I still love him but I think I have falling out of love with him for now, and who's to say that I wont renuite those feelings later. I feel like my heart is telling one thing and my mind another I know the ever constant struggle between the two. If only I knew what I wanted.

[LovelyLady]

You need to ask yourself one question... Is this man "the one" for me? If you have to doubt it, question it, contemplate it for a moment, I would say no, he's not. And then I would tell you to not marry him for the sake of being married. Always listen to voice within...the voice of your heart. It's that simply.

 

Good luck!!!

[lauralied]

You may not know what you want right now. Who said you had to decide at this particular time? I am in the same boat as you, I am 22 and I could take two very different paths in my life.

 

I think that time usually gives clarity to what is now in question. I trust that circumstances one, two weeks to months from now, will change and eventually a good course will line up.

 

You might regret going the domestic route with your ex without spreading your own wings first. Unless you really need that stability of a marriage and home at this age, I'd say hold off. You need to marry someone not because you can't survive without them but because their presense in your life adds something special you'd rather not go without. It's never good to be too dependent upon anyone for your own happiness. I struggle with that idea a lot, but it takes strength of character to feel OK with oneself even when you've got no one else but yourself. I'd think you need some time to explore the avenues that life can offer you as an individual. Relationships are a hard thing to leave behind, but maybe you can keep him in your life to some degree, to make it easier as you grow on your own. If that's not possible, you may just need to cut the strings that bind. I don't mean you should forget all the wonderful times and memories, that's impossible and not right. You just need to find a way to draw the line in your mind, between then and now, the happiness and joy of the past and the goal to find happiness and joy in the present. You just need to be true to your own needs, whatever they are. Prioritize your life and go from there.