the girl I had been dating just left me for her ex...

[hopelessly]

Ok, I am having a really difficult time accepting this one. The girl I have been seeing for the last 2 months or so just told me she was still in love with her ex. She dated this guy for about a 1-1/2 years and they broke up with 5 or 6 times during that span. Apparently, one of the reasons was that he would never commit to her. After she started seeing me and thing's started to get somewhat serious, he came running back to her begging to get back together etc. The problem I'm having is that we were on our way. She had told me more than once that she was falling in love with me. We talked daily all the time. It seemed that we definitley had a start on something that would go somewhere. She told me her heart was split in two and she feels that she needs to find out for herself if it will ever really work with him. And because of this can't move forward and give our relationship what it deserves. Which of course wouldn't be fair to me. It sucks because I know that she really cares about me and is falling for me. If this guy wasn't around I wouldn't even be writing this. We talked for 4 hours the night she told me she was getting back together with him. She told me she missed me already, and she could see us being married someday etc. It is one of the most difficult situations I have ever been in. I know I have to try and let her go. I need some advice from anyone who may have been in a similar situation. What do you make of this? What the hell do I do? Do I need to just forget about it? Or do I take a stand? I think I may be in love with this girl.

[enadevoli]

she seems soo confused & the what she is doing makes it sooo confusing. she says shes in love with you & wants to marry you, but she getting back with her ex. i don't know why she would do that...if they broke up so many times, then they will probably break up again. after they break up, she will probably come crawling back to you & since shes telling you how much she loves you & she knows how much you love her, then she probably expects that you will be there when they break up. you need to decide if you will be willing to take her back. i think at this point you will, but you need to consider some things... if she comes back to you, will she leave you again when her ex wants her back? if she really loved you, would she hurt you like this?? there are a lot of things to consider & im thinking that right now, you should just stop contact with her. if she talks to you again, maybe tell her that she can't expect you to be waiting for her. maybe she will realize how much she misses you. if you do end up taking her back, then i would say that you need to make her realize how much she hurt you first & tell her you want some time to consider it. then she will realize that you are serious about the whole thing. right now, there isn't much you can do besides try to get over her, because there could be a possibility that she won't be coming back, or that you won't want to take her back. so the best way is to stop all contact.

[hopelessly]

Thanks needherback, I really appreticate the insight.

[hopelessly]

Yeah, I've thought about that. It's just so hard to let her go, ya know. Thanks for your input enadevoli.

[jacksgrl]

Wow! I've been in that exact situation before only I'm the girl... I broke up with my boyfriend of a year and a half for another guy. I totally saw myself with this guy. But I loved my boyfriend, so when I broke up with him I told him that I loved him and that i needed to know for sure that this was what I wanted. Sometimes its hard to get away from someone that you've been with for so long. There's so much there that can't be with someone that you haven't been with for very long. I ended up getting back together with my boyfriend and now we live together and love each other very much. the time that we spent apart helped us to realize what the other had that nobody else did. Just remember that if she really loves you like she says she does then time is all that will make her realize that it's you she really should be with. Be patient!!!

[hopelessly]

Thanks Jacksgrl. I hope your right. Even though I know I need to move on and be ready for the possibility that she may not come back. It is hard not to hope that she will. Question: I was thinking of making a CD with some songs that remind me of her/us and dropping it in her mailbox along with a gentle note. Something suttle. I know I can't call her so I thought this might be an alternative. I figure I have nothing to lose. Bad idea? Thanks again. Although friends and family are great. It really helps to hear from others that have shared a similar experience.