Did I do something wrong?

[iceman_23]

I am really good friends with some of the people I work with. Two of my friends "John" and "Jane" and I used to hang out quite a bit for awhile. Well as far as "John" and I knew "Jane" was just a friend. Well one time "John" and I decided to go on a double date with a couple of other girls from work and we didnt tell Jane. We werent keeping it a secret from her the topic just never came up. Well the next day Jane acts all weird and when I try to talk to her she tells me she's mad at John and I for not telling her about the date. I ask why she's so upset and she says " I just thought we were close enough friends that we told each other about things like that" I explained that I wasnt keeping it from her I just didn't think about telling her. Well anyways to make a long story short that was about a month ago and we havent hung out since. When I see her at work she doesnt hardly talk to me. Ive talked to her at work and even called her a couple of times and she's always to busy to hang out. One time we were going to hang out and she ditched me and never showed up. A couple days later she said she forgot. Anyways I guess what I'm wondering is did I do something wrong? Am i supposed to feel bad for something I did? Could it be that she secretly liked me or John and we didnt know it and she got jealous that we didnt ask her out? I dont know what it is but she wont hardly talk to me and I really want to be her friend still. Any suggestions of what to do?

[Prince]

She obviously sees you or john as good friends. it does not mean she may be attracted to either of you two. But if she was good friends with you two- I can understand she may have felt left out. That was fairly exclusive. So I suggest you talk to her about it.

 

Okay... now she may have a thing for one of you, but if you arent attracted to you, then you will still need totalk to her. If she is such a good friend I would have thought you would have at least told her- or even invited her along. Just talk to her.

[materia_goddess]

yeah talking to her about this issue sounds like a tops idea! have you confronted her since then for a serious talk about this issue on its own? if not then i suggest to do that first.

 

hm, im not sure if she had a thing for either of you. she might of, but good friends crave for the same trust, and attraction does not need to be involved.......so she might just hold you guys really high up, and might be a bit shocked the same wasnt returned to her.

 

wait! im not saying your in the wrong completely. sure telling her would be nice. but even some of my closest friends dont know where i am 24/7. she might have just expected this from you two, and a little shot down when it didnt happen. its a bit weird that she's still tiffy about it though. a sorry should fix things right up (if meant ofcourse!) but she might be a little more sensitive than anticipated, so she might take more things to heart

 

just let her know that you didnt forget about her, and you still want to be real close to her. that going out that time wasnt a big deal, and was serious. if you talk to her sincerely then she should appreciate it!

 

just give it a shot! good luck!

[russia]

looks like she likes you, and you've disappointed her big time by asking another girl out. it wouldn't matter to her if you were just a friend to her. she was hoping friends would become lovers, but you never saw the signals.

 

how to win her back? really have to take her out, one-on-one, and chat about that time. ask what really went on in her mind. but only if you are prepared to be more than friends with her this time round. don't lead her on a second time. that's not nice.

 

if you want to just be friends, forget it. some people settle for just being friends, some want to be lovers.