Im feeling some things for my best girl friend

[albusss]

um..well..im 15 years old u know...and heres the thing...ive known my best friend for almost 3 years now. at first we were best friends.then we stopped being so close..and now this year we are best friends again..but better friends..closer...we share practicly everything, i know her, she knows me, we like the same things, music, etc..i really likebeing with her and obviously she likes being with me too.but lately, when im at her house i just stare at her perfectness while she sleeps...and sometimes i want to kiss her...we arealways talking on the phone, sending mails seeing each other, hanging out...and she constantly tells me how much she loves me and misses me...and so do i...i just dont know in what way she means it...i dont even know what way i mean it!! but i LOVE to hearfrom her...i get really excited and i cant wait to seeher againor whatever... i dont know if i have these feelings just because we are so close or if its because im atracted to her..sometimes we talk about lesbian friends..or somestuff like that..and she seems to be ok with it...lol..but she has a boyfiend..im sure she is heterosexual...and im almost sure i am too!!! but sometimes shes too sweet to me and she hugs me and kisses me (on the cheek..hehe) and i go crazy...actually when she does i dont do anything...i dont even realise what it means to me until i get back home and start to think about her and all thethings she did to meduring the day...and thats when i think i like her in a sexual kinda way...by the way, shes now on vacations on the coast with another of our best friends...i couldnt go because i needed to study , anyway...im so jelous cos i cant stop imagining how much time my other friend is spendingwith her...and i wanna be there so bad...anyway...what is this i feel?

[zippitt]

When I was much younger, about 18 I had a talk with my friend. I told him that if he were a girl it would be perfect. I loved him as a friend, we did everything together, we laughed, finished eachother sentences, etc. I was truly disappointed because that was what I imaged love would be like with a women too, but he is a guy just as I am. My situation is different in that I knew well I was hetrosexual, but never in a million years did I think I could fall in love with a friend like that. My point is you two have something very special, and I can understand your concern on how to approach it. You might tell her something similar like, if you were a guy it would be perfect...watch for her reaction. Maybe ask her if she has ever looked at girls in a sexual way. Or something like mention how you don't like how guys act and (jokingly) say how you might just give up and become a Lesbian. Of course these are indirect as you might not really know what her reactions mean. I know you love her as a friend and possibly want more, but search yourself and see if what you want with her is actually intimacy/sexual or emoitional support or all of the above. Discovering ones true sexuality can sometimes take years, I am by no means an expert and have seen one too many shows, but really take the time to think about what it is you really want. You may want to seek some counseling if this friend means that much to you, as you don't want to complicate your relationship. All of this is really hard to say because women are much more open with each other and their feelings. If it was two men it would be a different story.