broke up 2 months ago ,now I'm dating again..weird....

[bubbamackdaddy69]

Hey everyone, Thanks for reading.

Many of you may know my situatuion lately from my previous posts.

To start off I've been single now for 2 months after the ex-girlfriend of almost 3 years decided we needed a break because we fought alot and a bunch of other stuff. Well she started dating someone right after we broke up and that hurt alot. I was a mess at first but slowly got better. I was begging her back and told her I have changed and blah blah..

Well the thing is now it's 2 months later and everything seems to be confusing and all. I mean the ex has been calling me alot more and we went out last week for lunch and stuff. It seems that she realizes that I am getting over her and she feels lonely or jealous or something anyways lately. For the past 2 weeks I've been dating this new girl, and she is awesome. I really like her, she's pretty,smart and we have alot in common. The thing is that I'm really happy dating her now but I still think of the ex sometimes, sometimes I feel guilty. Is it normal to feel weird when dating someone new after a break up? I mean part of me wants to move on with my life and see what happens with this new girl because I really like her but another part of me still loves the ex and still wonder how things would be if we ever got back together again?

What should I do?? Any advice would be appreciated.

[Mar]

Well, it's entirely up to you....NO, you shouldn't feel guilty at all, you have no responsibilities to your ex whatsoever. You had problems in that relationship and it didn't work out in the long run. End of story. Now you have this new girl who seems like she really makes you happy...why would you throw that away? I'm guessing that you're right in that your ex is most likely slightly jealous of your new relationship, but that's to be expected in most cases. You and your ex both are still basically the same people you were before you broke up; people generally don't change that much in that short of a time. thereforeeee getting back together with her and losing the current relationship would be a risky proposition, but your choice entirely.

 

It's up to you-if you think your current relationship is going to suffer because you might still have feelings for your ex, then be fair to her (the current one) and let her know that you're having issues. But if you care about her and want to pursue it further, then deal with your ex in whatever way makes you comfortable-let her know that you're in a new, solid relationship that you enjoy, and that you don't wish to have contact with her if it's going to confuse the issue for you. Or, if you can be friends with her without it being a problem, then clearly state to her that friends is all it's going to be. Sorry if I couldn't be of much help on this, it's always hard to know what to say when there's confusion regarding the ex's! Good luck to you!

[bubbamackdaddy69]

Thanks Mar... I think you've replied to every post that I've put.

I agree with alot of what you've said about both relationships. The thing is that even after thinking about it so much I am still confused.

When I said that I thought my ex was jealous, I meant that she was hurt and jealous for the fact that she feels that I am moving on.. She doesn't know about this new girl I'm dating. At least I didn't tell her anyways.

I agree it wouldn't be fair to the new girl also. She seems like such a sweetie.

I'm thinking that I should keep dating this new girl because I really like her and if things don't work out later on because of my feelings for the ex then maybe my ex and I were meant to be together? Does this make sense?? I really don't know?

[Mar]

Relax, you're stressing about this way too much.....enjoy what you have with this new girl, if she's making you happy. Why would you throw away happiness to get back together with someone you weren't compatible with two months ago? Silly man....lol Seriously though, I know it's hard when there are these little complicating factors involving ex's, and it DOES cloud one's judgement on where they're going in their future. But yours seems pretty secure....you're happy with this new girl, she makes you smile, she's nice, she's attractive....stay with her. You're giving her everything she's giving you as well, you know!

 

As far as your ex and the jealousy issue...that's hers to deal with. I don't remember who broke up with who, but you've made your peace with it. If she hasn't, that's not something you're going to be able to fix for her. EVERYONE misses their ex after awhile, because we tend to sugarcoat the relationship and remember the good times more than the bad times when we start to get lonely-which I suspect is what she's doing in this case. But she has to deal with that on her own. You've moved on to a new, healthy relationship, a new chapter in your life...all you need to do is worry about turning the page! And if, after awhile, you can't stop thinking about the ex and think you want another chance with her, then so be it....but give yourself this chance first, and enjoy what you're getting from it and giving to her!

[bubbamackdaddy69]

Thanks again Mar..

I will do that..I will just go with the flow and see where this new girl takes me. We've only been on 3 dates but we seem to have a connection on both sides, meaning emotionally and sexually. Sexually I mean that we have that attraction for each other it seems even though we haven't "Did it" yet.... But I respect that with her and it's a nice change because alot of the other girls I've dated where pretty much"One night stands" that never went anywhere after.

Thanks...

[Mar]

Any time...