brosiamarie Posted October 4, 2003 Share Posted October 4, 2003 I just ended a relationship in which I was in for almost five years he was my first love and first everything. I was only 18 when we started dating and now I am 23. He has been all I ever have known. I am scared and lost. Everyone says in time things will get better, but what do I do with the pain I am feeling right now. How do I even go on now knowing he is not gonna be there by my side I grew to reley on him. I just dont know anything anymore. Link to comment
Punished Angel Posted October 4, 2003 Share Posted October 4, 2003 hey, if you feel like youve done the wrong thing by breaking up with him..then maybe you werent supose to.If you love him that much ,then he mst have done something pretty bad to make u break up with him.I know it really hurts losing ur first love,Cause im going through the same thing. I wish u the best of luck Link to comment
Breaker24 Posted October 4, 2003 Share Posted October 4, 2003 Well the pain you're feeling is natural... I kind of felt it just reading your message. Right now you have a big emotional gap in your life and what you need to do is find a way to fill it. Talk to yours friends, hang out, get a new hobby, and just meet people. When you just break up with someone consider what it is that makes you feel this way. Are you missing the person, or just the companionship? A five year long relationship is pretty long. Just make sure you're doing it for the right reasons. Hope that helps! Link to comment
brosiamarie Posted October 4, 2003 Author Share Posted October 4, 2003 I guess he didnt do anything that horrible I mean we had our arguments and fights but I believe we out grew each other. He wasnt perfect nor was I.But we were two totally different people literally night and day. I know he loves me and I know I caused him so much pain and hurt. But as much as my heart hurts and argues with the decision I made I feel deep down it was the right thing to do. I don't think we were meant to be. Its weird how you can love a person so much but not like the person. We were at the point where it was either say "I do" our end it and I couldent see my self being able to live with him for another five years I just think we were at that comfort level and were both to scared to end it. as much as it hurts there is also a relief. But I'm worried I will regret this and realize I have made a horrible mistake. first loves were never meant to be right? Link to comment
justme1 Posted October 4, 2003 Share Posted October 4, 2003 my cousin met her husband in highschool. They stayed together forever... both are successful lawyers... some people get lucky i suppose. just remember nothing matters, we all die in the end. Link to comment
duhast Posted October 4, 2003 Share Posted October 4, 2003 At first I thought you were my ex posting since that's basically how she said she felt I met my ex when she was 18 and she's 24 now - we broke up a few weeks ago, although we were supposed to work on things and see how it goes. Of course right after she felt relieved and changed her mind and wanted nothing to do with a relationship anymore. She found someone else a few days after we broke up so I'm wondering if she's just trying to fill the void or she really did stop loving me and has moved on already. Unfortuneatly for me, once she left I realized how much I really did love her and looking back all of our problems were caused by the simple fact that we didn't communicate like couples should. Seems a shame to lose 6 years with a person due to a communication problem, especially knowing how deeply in love we were at one point. My hope was we would get to know each other again and let our friendship redevelop then see if we really did want to spend our lives together, but the chance was never given. My only advice is to talk about it, share your feelings with friends or loved ones - or even your ex and remember to take the time for your heart to heal, even if it takes awhile. Link to comment
brosiamarie Posted October 4, 2003 Author Share Posted October 4, 2003 thanks duhast I can see why maybe you thought that I was your ex our siuations are very simliar including the few days later but I believe that your ex is filling the void with someone new because I believe that is what I am doing. I am trying to run from the pain and hurt and I know eventually it will catch up to me but hopfully by then I will be a little bit stronger to deal with it. I wish and hope the best of luck in your situation. Link to comment
guy_in_pa Posted October 4, 2003 Share Posted October 4, 2003 Hmm, I feel like I am/was in the same situation. We'd been together over 3 years, she was my first love. We broke up for a similar reason, not that we had that major arguments & disagreements, but that we were in a critical step in our relationship. We were going to have a long time apart and if we did that it was basically the point were we were gonna get engaged. I just couldn't see myself with her. We were so good together because we were just comfortable around each other. But in the 3 years we both changed and weren't the same people we used to be. I really don't understand it. How things work out like they do. I hate how she's trying to make me jealous now, and honestly just confusing the heck out of me. She's on a study abroad now. She'll email me and say how homesick she is and how she misses me. Then she'll turn around a few days later and send me an email about how I should just go away. She'll say she doesn't want to talk to me, then she'll change her mind. She ran out within a month of us breaking up and found a new guy, then she tells me I can't find a new girl. I don't get it, but its annoying. I hate it, this isn't how we are supposed to be. Falling in love is probably one of the best feelings, falling out of love has to be the worst. Link to comment
brosiamarie Posted October 4, 2003 Author Share Posted October 4, 2003 I really don't know what the next few months have in store for me I know that they will be hard but I hope I don't torture myself as well as him by calling him and trying to see him cause I know that will only make it worse. He tells me I am being selfish and have always been maybe I am who knows. I just wish things could of had a happy ending Link to comment
Prince Posted October 5, 2003 Share Posted October 5, 2003 Well. It was your choice. Thats my opinion. Honestly, I think you did the right thing because if you weren't happy with how things were going than it never would have survived. Your choice is generally an expression of your own feelings, thus I believe you made a choice that would be best for you in the end. And if it's the best for you, I gaurantee it was the best for him. Wow five years. I honestly don't know how to respond to that, lot'a memories I s'pose. Well it will al work out for the best- I'm sure of it. Link to comment
marthasunny Posted October 7, 2003 Share Posted October 7, 2003 Hi! My ex-fiance and I were together for 6 years. I started dating him when I turned 17, and we broke up when I was 23. I completely understand where you're coming from. Breaking up is very difficult if it's with someone with whom you practically grew up. What I've learned is that I did most of my growing-up between the ages of 17 and 23 when I graduated from high school, moved away from home, had to decide on a future career path while in college, graduated college, and continued with life. There were so many changes during those years, and the person who I was at the age of 17 was no longer the person I was at 23. Anyway, now it's been a year since my breakup, and I've learned a lot about life. I wouldn't exchange my last relationship for the world, and I'm glad that we broke up. Although we weren't right for each other, I learned a great deal about relating through him. Eventually, I'll have another relationship with someone, and I'll be much better able to related with him. I feel like a divorced individual without the baggage that comes from divorce including money issues and child custody problems. (I had no children; we aren't asking each other for money.) The next time that I relate with someone, I will be able to spot problems and react to them early. I've learned that relating is about being part of a team and doing what's best for the team instead of individual members. I've learned what I want in a person and what kind of individual to find. All really great things! While a lot of my friends are just beginning those really long relationships right now, I have learned many of the skills needed to better sustain a long-term relationship. Think about it. I think that you might have learned something, too. Link to comment
marthasunny Posted October 7, 2003 Share Posted October 7, 2003 Hi! My ex-fiance and I were together for 6 years. I started dating him when I turned 17, and we broke up when I was 23. I completely understand where you're coming from. Breaking up is very difficult if it's with someone with whom you practically grew up. What I've learned is that I did most of my growing-up between the ages of 17 and 23 when I graduated from high school, moved away from home, had to decide on a future career path while in college, graduated college, and continued with life. There were so many changes during those years, and the person who I was at the age of 17 was no longer the person I was at 23. Link to comment
marthasunny Posted October 7, 2003 Share Posted October 7, 2003 Anyway, now it's been a year since my breakup, and I've learned a lot about life. I wouldn't exchange my last relationship for the world, and I'm glad that we broke up. Although we weren't right for each other, I learned a great deal about relating through him. Eventually, I'll have another relationship with someone, and I'll be much better able to related with him. I feel like a divorced individual without the baggage that comes from divorce including money issues and child custody problems. (I had no children; we aren't asking each other for money.) The next time that I relate with someone, I will be able to spot problems and react to them early. I've learned that relating is about being part of a team and doing what's best for the team instead of individual members. I've learned what I want in a person and what kind of individual to find. All really great things! While a lot of my friends are just beginning those really long relationships right now, I have learned many of the skills needed to better sustain a long-term relationship. Think about it. I think that you might have learned something, too. Link to comment
hollyhoney83 Posted October 7, 2003 Share Posted October 7, 2003 Even a broken heart keeps beating... That's the quote my friends used to tell me when my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me. He was my first love and first everything. We tried to get back together after a while, and we made it almost another year, but it didn't work out. It's the hardest thing to let go of someone you love so much. My ex would go out, meet girls, break up with me, then get back with me after he "realized" he couldn't be without me. I hope y'alls situations are not like this. Sometimes people really do need space and time. Sometimes that's what makes a relationship stronger. In that time apart we all come to realize what we once had, and it's ths ones who are truly in love that realize that they belong together. All we can really do in life and love, is try the hardest we can, but sometimes no matter how hard we try it just isn't enough...good luck in love everyone Link to comment
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