I finally stood up for myself......But need to know what you think...

[tray25]

My friend sees her at the club. Sitting on someones lap and holding his hand. I trust my friend, but even if he is lying I know for sure she was out and there. I texted her and said "hey, its nice to see someone who's sick out and making out with someone (She told me she has cervical cancer). She says she is single. She texts today and says "It hurts so bad I am nervous". She always does this when she knows she is in trouble. I said "What do you want from me? What do you want me to say, you text me about your health and that's it. I can't help anyone who texts all the time and never talks or hangs out, what do you want?" She says I don't give a about her and that she just wanted me to be there. At this point, anyone with any common sense would know that people would come closer not keep you as a text friend. All she does is text me. I have had enough. Go yourself as far as I am concerned. So this is what I wrote....I tried to be nice and thoughtful one last time.

 

 

"I have always been there for you. But I am not your fall back cause I love myself. I can't hang with you cause I don't want to see or hear you sleep with other guys in the future, I don't want to help you with cancer over text. I dont want you to want me. All I want is to remember you in the beginning. I just want to remember you as the first time I saw you. Nothing more. I don't want anything else. I don't want to hate you, I just want to move on. If you have cancer I am here to support you, but not like this. Take care".

 

 

This chick is playing me and I know it. I am the safety net. I am the comfort emotional ahole that listens to her BS. If she has cancer, well then I will give it my all to help her. But I cannot help someone who refuses to hang or call me and then hangs out at clubs till 430, holding another man's hand and drinking. Women who are sick, take care of themselves first and then go out. I don't want to be involved with someone who likes another man. She had to know this. What do you guys think? I really am recovering nicely. I don't want to feel sad or angry anymore. She can have them. But for God's sake, why does she not understand that you can't text over and over again and have no intentions of getting back together. I can't be friends with her.

[sunflower_girl]

Stop answering. Ignore all contact wih her, obviously she's not commited enough to be with you if she's with other guys.

 

She'll guilt you into being her safety net as long as you let her. (Good advice, I should listen to it myself)

[Rochelle]

I agree w/ SG...u need to go tough love on her...she expects you to be her fallout and u don't deserve that....no one does.

 

People that are emotionally unstable and dont' love themselves will need the only other person that ever showed genuine love and support for them to stay on board as their emotional crutch.

 

Unfort. we learn this the hard way. They keep stringing us along, dont' talk about getting back together but give us just enough to keep us hopeful. We are also the types that when we loves someone, we give them all we have.

 

People like this and my own ex are emotional vampires...their survival depends on your kindness and love becuase they are sick. In your case she is sick physcially and mentally and well, emotionally as well. She's toxic.

 

You are not alone...and it's hard, i know. I like what you wrote her...it was direct and firm and something a "grown up" would say, which she is clearly not and probably needed (and yet hated) from you. People like this should be treated as if they are stubborn children that throw fits when something they didn't want to play w/ in the first place, got tosse aside, and now want back becuause someone else is now playing w/ it.

 

They are in no way, shape or form healthy or capable and as long as they can keep drawing on you what they need to do for themselves, they will until you are all used up or your help is no longer needed....so you are in essense being rejected over and over and who wants to feel that rawness all the time.

 

Keep firm...ignore her, let her get angry and tell you you are selfish for what you've done...she will do this as she is going to try to guilt you or manipulate the feelings back out of you...it's like taking the drug away from the junkies...this is the time she may likely start humiliating herself just to get your attention...to get her fix back.

 

Keep on loving yourself...it's hard, but eventually, u will see her for what she really is and it will make u stronger.

 

We all support you

[Never_the_same]

Hi tray, you are definitely correct. She is using you as her fallback, it is not fair at all. I admire you for having the courage to stand up for yourself and telling her what you really feel. I do believe that you are on your way to moving on with your life. You must be very proud of yourself. I wish I can have the strength to finally try to let go.