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Met this girl (sort of) - Need advice...


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Well, if you never read my topics before I was a bit disapointed that I never attracted any girls and have only had one serious relationship. (Even though I am only 15- almost 16).


Anyways I saw this girl from the beginning of the school year and never payed much attention. But I noticed her these last 2 weeks (week and a half) in my study hall with a good majority of the freshman class. (which she is a part of - I am a sophomore). Anyways, on tuesday I wrote a note to this girl in my biology class whom is a pretty good friend I met this year (a new student) if she would "conveniently" leak out this information that I liked this girl to her since they took a language class together. I told her to say something along the lines of "hey, I think this/that guy might like you, you should get to know him" and instructed her to point me out to this freshman. the first day (tuesday) i don't think she really knew who i was and didn't receive much attention from her. yesterday I walked into school and proceeded to my locker, this group of freshman girls was standing about 15-20 feet away from my locker next to a group of other people and she was somewhere in between them kind of in the back of the group. i walked passed her to get to my locker and i when i was putting my books, bag, etc. into my locker i heard comments like "oooh, cute" and "oooh rachel" (rachel is who i like obviously) im not sure if thats what they were talking about but im hoping so. the freshman class left at lunch period on a field trip so i didnt see her the rest of the day. today i caught her give me a quick glance while in the cafeteria. i was looking at her too so naturally i looked away quickly and tried not to look at her anymore. im not sure but I had study hall with her again today and i think i caught her give me another glance but i was too busy with my geometry homework to notice... i went into the gym and sat down on the bleachers with my 2 friends since it was empty and we like to fool around and do stupid things. her and her friend came out of the locker room and proceeded toward the commons of the building but they stopped just short of the door and decided to play with some volleyballs... was she trying to get me to look and see if i was for sure interested? anyways after that we went off to soccer (today we had to practice with half a field because the jv girls used the other half, which she is on) and after practice which mine went 15-30 minutes longer since im on varsity, she was sitting near the door in the commons and when i came in heading for the locker room i saw her out of the corner of my eye grabbing a look at me and when i came back out to go to my other locker i caught her look at me again as i pulled out my cell phone to make a call... when i came back out she was gone...



here's the ironic part... she had no idea who i was until tuesday when my friend had to describe me to her, and we're totally different. she dresses kind of decent... not preppy but not rag-tag... where as i spike my hair, wear baggy pants, dark shirts, chain hanging from my pants and all. shes really very shy and ive never heard her talk before, never talked to her even (obviously), and i am shy to an extent but im getting over that... and im can be pretty stupid cracking jokes with alot of people, talking to alot of people throughout the day. also size differences are big... from what i can see id guess shes 5'0" to around 5'2" and in the range of 75-90 pounds... shes not very big at all but in proportion for her height and age.. where as i am a muscular athlete (no not bragging) im 5'9" and 162 pounds... i have at least 70 pounds over this girl instead of the usual 40-50 pounds...



also theres this problem that if she does like me i fear that it will be because that i am an older guy, a sophomore, and that the bragging rights of "im going out with an older guy" might get to her... though it doesnt seem likely with how shy she is... and when i am introduced to her/get to meet her what kind of conversation to i talk to her about? i have been introduced to people before and the conversation doesnt last much beyond "hi" maybe because theres that 3rd person that introduced us there but still... i have no idea what to talk about...





so... any advice? do you think this girl likes me or is just curious still because she doesnt know me? once i do talk to her what do i say?


please... do not post anything if you dont have any good advice... it doesnt help my cause at all... thanks in advance if i dont get back to replying on this.

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well you asked what should you do basically to get her to notice you, well to notice someone and to get to know them are 2 different things, i think you should make a pass-by and say Hi. and make sure you smile...if you don't she might get the impression your not to friendly, and wait.... for her to reply back with hello, you could even take it like this.


YOU: Hello or Hi


HER: Hello


YOU: Iv 'e Noticed you are pretty good at (the sport your playing in gym) it's called a complement..and you can really win her over with that,


HER: (most likely blushing) she might laugh and say "Ahh I'm not that good"


YOU: "Your better than me" note putting yourself down isn't' the best thing, but it helps to make her feel important, and First )


Follow this up with Whats your name, Ask what grade she is in, (act like you don't know) You said you crack jokes, well make one up...you know how to talk to a girl, or at least i hope, Just Don't Choke...



Or do the lunch thing...get IN FRONT of her in line..when you pay for your food, offer to pay for hers...Yes i know that sounds like really corny, but it will defiantly rent space in her mind, why you bought her lunch, than the next day go up to her and say


YOU: "you know i find you appealing, i don't believe i got your name yet"


YOU: "Iv 'e been told not to pass up Good opportunities in life, and i just wanted to introduce myself to you"


(place hand on chest) state your name...and than ask for hers...in-part starting a conversation.


hope i helped..? keep me posted..you have nothing to loose. JUST DO IT (Nike)

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Hi Edge666,


First of all, the conversation thing: a simple hello and eye contact is a VERY good start to showing someone you're interested-maybe a light touch on her arm as you ask how she's doing. You can do this at any point...you just have to get up the nerve to go up to her and initiate that contact. Chances are that, if she's as shy as you think, she won't make that initial move.


As far as the conversation to follow, that's basically up to you, since we have no idea what she's going to say. You could ask her if she plays any other sports, what sort of things she likes to do on the weekends (good for future date planning), what movies she likes, books she likes, what her hobbies are....any sort of general interest topics! You could discuss teachers in your school and compare notes on likes and dislikes, ask her what subjects she's having difficulty with, if any, and, if it's something you're good in, offer to tutor her, etc. But if you DO do that, make sure you actually help her!


There's not a lot involved in talking to a girl, it's just that initial "hello" that's the hardest. If she's interested, she'll show you. If not, she'll make that clear as well.


As far as the issue of "bragging rights"....I wouldn't even worry about that. It's not that big a deal for a sophomore to go out with a freshman. Size also doesn't matter....it's what's IN the person that counts. The fact that you're considerably bigger than her really wouldn't affect anything, since most men ARE bigger than women! Just relax and try not to worry so much about the little things....get the big thing, the "hello" out of the way first! Good luck!



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Well Mar's advice is always good but she's mentioned very little about the eye contact.


I was in a similar situation. The lady I liked (and Mar knows all about this) was doing a similar thing to me. Eye contact which usually lasted for quite a while until she realised I knew she was looking at me then she looked away as quick as her head could turn. The eye contact continued at other places but was usually quicker and she tried to disguise it. She also knew that I was doing the same thing to her that she was doing to me. We exchanged small amounts of eye contact frequently. My instincts told me she was definitely looking at me but my mind refused to believe it because she is years older than me. I simply didn't think I would have a chance.


If you've noticed her looking at you then trust your instincts. From what you have said your instincts are telling you that she's looking at you otherwise you wouldn't have noticed it. The locker incident with the "Cute" comments etc is no coincidence. Women seem to do these strange things and drop weird hints that play with mens minds and confuse us to the point where we have to get advice from others.


I had this same problem with the woman I mentioned above. I was going down the stairs oneday and turned the corner to find her at the bottom of the stairs just leaning against the wall looking straight up at me. At the time I never thought a great deal of it and just assumed that it was a coincidence that she was there and that the eye contact was just sheer accident (I was rather loud at the time talking to 2 other people I was with). After thinking about this for a few hours I realised that she knew I could only go down the stairs to get accross the stage and that if she wanted me to notice her that was the prime place for her to be. That along with the eye contact was almost enough to convince me I had a chance. It wasn't until the show was over and she was leaving the theatre that I realised that I had a very good chance. I was waiting for my friends by the stage door and coincidentally I was leaning up against the wall by the stairs by the stage door (I swear I wasn't playing the same trick back on her honest!!!). I was kinda looking up the stairs to see who came down and suddenly the woman I liked came around the corner and started coming down the stairs. She got down 1 step and realised I was there and made instant eye contact. The eye contact was so powerful I had to look away as she was coming down the stairs because she was getting closer and I felt myself crumbling whilst she was looking directly into my eyes.


My point is that if you notice someone looking at you and it registers in your mind as "they're looking at me" then it's a good sign. If you see someone looking at you and think nothing of it then your instincts haven't been called into service and there is nothing there.


Trust your instincts. They've been developed from trial and error over thousands of years. By now they should be perfect!


The cute comments by the locker is a good sign. She's noticed you now that your friend has mentioned you to her. A good friend once said to me that women will never notice you once until they think you've noticed them. He is right. There's a lot of truth in that saying. She never noticed you before because she never realised you were interested. I don't know why it works this way but you rarely get women notice you before you notice them for some weird reason. Anyway thats not important. What is important is that your friend mentioned you to her and she's realised that's not an accident. She's then spoken about to her friends and it's snowballed from there.


You should try talking to her - I'll leave you with Mar's advice on that (She's a genius with these things).


Good luck


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I have to say Turboz and Mar really have good advice, and input..and i want to reflect on something that turboz posted a while back about "women & Mind games" so read on.....


Now since this is still a sticky Topic, we are sort of waiting for Edge to give us an Update, with that we can further continue assisting him in what to do in the future, I'm sort of the type to keep my feelings towards a girl back, because all us (MEN) know that once a man shows a women interest back, everything sort of drops to nothing or to a bare minimum, i say this in-part to what Turboz mentioned in a post, while reading it i noticed his frustrations with women playing mind games, and leading us on.


I can relate to that feeling, b/c it happened to me, And it happens to the best of us. Really the you should play this with a simple "hello" like what Mar said. That Small word, can make a world of difference, To think about how many times i say Hello to girls i *don't Even Know* in the club, street, parks, stores, where ever really, The response 95% of the time is "hello" back. think of it as Hitting the Ice but not breaking it yet..that takes more of a conversation with some cohesiveness flavor.


I'm not saying at all she is leading you on, because you haven't meet yet..so that would be almost impossible, In addition if you do get a chance to say "hi/hello" i would suggest you do it when she is alone, reason being if you make an introduction with her friends around that could start some talking/gossip about you while you walk away, or are not around. we know how women talk, best way i think is to do it by yourself, while she was by herself...makes it more personal. Well we are patiently waiting for an Update Edge. Keep us posted.

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Hey guys, not much has really happened lately I guess... lets see I last posted on Thursday... So Friday I kinda looked at her at lunch because I seriously coincidentally picked the side of the table that faced her and I think I got a look back... I mean I'd look at her more often but I don't want her to get the idea that I'm just going on looks or think I'm some kind of disgusting hormone driven guy. So I don't look too often but whenever I can and I think but am not positive if she looked at me. That day I also left early to go to a doctor appointment, so I only saw her the first 8 minutes in the study hall I had with her... but I made sure to give my permit to leave to the supervisor in her general direction of view and not too far away but when I looked she was busy with schoolwork it looked and I didn't receive any attention from her at all. Today however, I went to an alumni game for my highschool (soccer) and volunteered to go and play with the Junior Varsity because I knew that the girls Junior Varsity which she is on also played at the same fields, and it just so happened to work out that one of our games was canceled so it opened up a timeslot for me to watch both of her games. My games coincidentally were at 1 and 5 and her games were back to back at 2 and 3:30. I'm very sure that she noticed me watching her or at least knew I was there when she sub'ed out. She gave me a short look and went for water, etc. back on the line and looked back I think but I don't know, I had gotten up to go back to my bag quickly.


I kind of screwed up too. I regret that I never bought a homecoming dance ticket because I went last year and it was nothing special and pretty gay in my opinion but, as some may know I liked another freshman quite a bit at the beginning of the year and she was nice about it but never really got the idea of us going out or anything. Anyways, I was talking to her 15 minutes or so before she left for the dance and as I changed the topic towards Rachel, I had asked if she ever talks to her and it turns out she did, I asked if she had said anything about me thus far, and she said no. I don't blame her though, since she doesn't know me I don't think she'd want to make something of it yet if at all. But to my amazement she said Rachel would probably be going to the dance, so the last 3 or so hours I've been kicking myself over this matter. This really didn't seem like a possibility because she always seems so quiet and shy, but anyways... I guess I have something to hate myself for...



As far as the saying "Hi" while passing her, I will look for that frequently. I am kicking myself for that too because I had the perfect chance after that practice... But I will keep you all posted and definitely try looking at her and say hi passing her during periods... and the tutor thing seemed kind of good... although I was pretty lazy and never did well last year in school work (I go to private school so its a tad harder) I am pretty smart in mathematics and such and I have heard she's in pre-algebra so I figure if I ever do get to talking to her I could offer that service... I've already had a few freshman girls in honors algebra classes ask for help. Though they were my friends of several years.. as far as talking about classes together I fear I cannot. I'm a year older and in a different class, all I have with her is a study hall and she sits towards the front surrounded by freshman and I'm usually towards the back with my sophomore friend.



Anyways, I will keep you posted as much as possible... and if you all don't mind... BOOKMARK THIS TOPIC. I'm finding your advice greatly helpful and I would like to hear more if possible. Thank you much for what you have said thus far.

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lol....my friend, at the rate you're going, you're not going to get past "hey" by the time you graduate. BE ASSERTIVE. Make strong eye contact with her (Turboz is right about the eye contact thing) and just walk up to her and say hello, followed by the previous suggestions. Just saying just "hi" won't get you anywhere that won't leave you continually frustrated and kicking yourself for not taking more action!


You can do this....she's not Superwoman, she's a mortal girl. She won't strike you down if you actually APPROACH her, you know... Go for it...next time you see her, go up to her. Ask her how she's doing.. compliment her on her game...say she looks nice....WHATEVER, just so you have her undivided attention. Worst she'll do is giggle a little and split on you. No big deal, it just means she's shy and needs a gentler touch. But just glancing at her and muttering a "hi" in her general direction isn't going to get you to where you want to be with this girl! lol


Good luck,


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I did reply to this topic but accidentally put it in the wrong window and the reply was attatched to another topic (incidentally the reply seems to be 2 replys to the 2 topics but only in one posting - Not quite sure how the hell I managed that really..).


Anyway this topic deserves it's own reply so here I am - Lets get the Turboz burnin


S4il is correct about not approaching when she is with her friends - That tends to lead to embarrassment and gossip. You'll find that you'll be talked about all over the place. Just say hi next time you walk past the girl. She's human. She's not a star (believe me they're hard work to chase around after and I have first hand experience of making a move on an international singing star - damn hard work!). She's just ordinary and human like you. Think of yourself as the perfect human. You are better than her and she should feel lucky if offered the chance to date you. There is no point putting her up there on the level of the "Super beings" as she's not. You make her look big and you feel small. Don't. You are the same as her. You are so remember it. There is nothing special about her (except the qualitities that you think are special) so why should you feel nervous about her?


Think about this logically. Take a stand back from the situation. Pretend that you are one of your friends. Examine your situation and see what advice you would give yourself. No doubt your friends would say the same thing "Just say hi" and they'd be right. She's not a god she's just a normal person who deserves to be treated respectfully. Just be polite to her say hi and each time you see her just work on it a bit more.


1) "Hi"

2) "Hello "

3) "Hey , how are you doing today?"

4) "Hey buddy, you going to the tonite?"


See what I'm saying???

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let me start by saying Thanks Edge for the Update Mar, Turboz and myself appreciate that.


let me start with


I'm glad to hear that you made more eye-contact, and she has as well. that being a sign that she acknowledges your Glancing ever so often at her, in study hall/lunch. I give credit to you for making yourself available at the soccer game, that was a good move. Which may be your ticket into a introduction, After the hello of course.


Taking this in Steps


Turboz put it into a pretty self explanatory way of Approaching. Sometimes called "your cold walk-up" meaning first getting the nerve to say "Hi/Hello" and mar is totally right in a humorous way he said "she isn't Superwomen" i find that funny because it's true, she only human just like yourself. what bad can happen out of saying "HI". Nothing that i can think of, i told you that I (myself) say hello to people i don't even know, and 95% of the time the response is Hi back, so if you start with that you have gained ground on your side of the field.




Breaking it down to the "Nitty-Gritty"



One entry found for Woman.


: an adult female person b : a woman belonging to a particular category (as by birth, residence, membership, or occupation) -- usually used in combination

example "A female servant or personal attendant"






Nothing above says anything about Super Women (humor)


So Now you understand what she is, But the only problem is you don't know "What" she about, what she likes to do, besides play soccer, what music she listens too, things that you Want to know are not going to be delivered Fed-X to your door step. And i bet your asking yourself "well how can i get to know someone if i haven't said Hello first" true very true indeed, Like i said in the last post, you saying Hello is like ~Cracking the ice~


Also i would like to make you aware that you showing up at her game, probably made her think a little, Not like "OMG WHAT IS HE DOING HERE?" not that way...it just seems like since she made eye-contact. She than thought about it, And i think this might be your ticket in, for a really smooth, well planned walk-Up. when i read you and her both play soccer a light went on in my head saying *^ 'BINGO ^' * I'm not saying wait until next game.. more like walk up to her in study hall or at lunch when she is alone and say something like.


YOU: "Hello, I'm sorry to bother you while your studying but i saw you on the side lines after my game last week playing soccer, Your good"


Something like that would really get her to notice you, at that moment when you do say hi. you must smile, and show/have confidence in your voice/posture those are crucial. If you don't she will sense it and it will make you feel like a Idiot. But your not an idiot, your going to do this, i can tell your almost there you just a little more pushing from me, Mar, & Turboz we are your coaches on the field and we are all "YELLING" Get your Turbo changer working, sail in with confidence, at the same time be pursuant, But have the mentality/action of Mar's Wolf.


Run in and post up ! get into position and kick yourself (like you do a lot) to just say Hello', follow it up with a compliment, you will score big. than your coaches will stop yelling at you.


=D> \

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Hey guys... one more update and this first part I already told S4il about over AOL.




So monday just before my soccer game in 7th hour phys. ed. we were playing football and I was running a cross pattern and some big dude ran in front of me and clipped my foot. I went down and bruised/pulled/strained a muscle running near my ankle so I just skipped the game. Now I knew the Junior Varsity girls had no practice today or they all would have suited up and been out on the field viewable from the entrance. So I was just sittin there with a kid I've known since kindergarten and was never really fond of but he was the only one there other than my ex girlfriend. So I went walking down the hall to get a drink and happened to look into the study hall/computer lab room and noticed she was sitting just near the door all alone... I really wanted to go in and talk to her but I as well as any other student knows that the door is locked after school and I didn't want to make myself look like an idiot and make her think something less of me and I decided knocking for her to open the door just to go in and introduce myself would seem kind of odd and thus decided not to do it. Now about an hour later I was walking to the locker room and I hoped to get a glimps of this perfect girl once more but when I passed the room she was nowhere to be seen. I got somewhat upset but nothing big just because I love to see her But as I rounded the corner to go to the locker room she just so happened to be at her locker just around the corner. I thought nothing of this and proceeded to the locker room to grab my bag and went back out to the commons. I realized this a few seconds after I got back and made some lame excuse to go back. On the way back her locker was still open and such but she wasn't there. She was walking back down the hall toward me and her locker and I think gave me a quick glance and looked away. It almost seems as if she tries purposely not to look at me. Good or bad? I don't know. She was at her locker still when I came back out and as I got closer the thought in my head the whole time was "Oh God just look and acknowledge my pressense so I can say 'Hi' and introduce myself". I regret to inform you that she never looked... And that kind of put a dent in my plan from the start so I didn't think fast enough and just kept on walking... Ruined another *PERFECT* chance. We were all alone on the empty side of the building around a corner out of view and everything. I'm so dumb sometimes. Anyways, after that she came out to the commons and set her things outside the entrance and went over the the bulletin board and information table and picked up something or another. She went to the wall she always does just out of my view (I could see the papers she was holding though.) but when she moved to the opposite end of the doors to see out farther I noticed that she looked back at me or at least in my general direction I think. She did that twice and the 3rd time her ride was there and she departed sadly... This is what happened on monday that I told S4il about already.




Now this is what recently happened today. So usual day walking between classes... I saw her once in the hall and made myself look at her face... not that its hard to look at something so beautiful but still... I kept myself fixed on her for a few seconds and I'm pretty sure she noticed... After German class however I saw her again and again fixed myself on her face and I'm sure this time she saw me. I think she looked back at me for a while too but I looked away a few seconds after she noticed and I passed her. So I'm getting better with the eye contact I suppose. The best thing about this day is that before any of that happened my/her friend talked to her and got her AOL screenname and passed it on to me. I think this gives me a great opportunity to talk to her and make her feel more comfortable to talk to me in person. So I hope it leads to that. What I plan to do is have my/her friend say something like "Oh, I gave your screenname to Pete, so expect a message from him." or even ask her "Is it ok if I give your screenname to Pete?" something alone those lines that lets her know I have it so I don't just randomly pop up, start talking, and thus trigger something in her head that I'm over-obsessed with her. (No matter if I am or not So what do you think of what has happened lately and about this idea of talking to her online to lead into the physical verbal talking? Leave me some feedback. And if you haven't already like I asked... BOOKMARK THIS TOPIC! Thanks again in advance.

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One more thing I just found out from my/her friend. Read through this conversation and whatnot real quick.




RMSprinter87: hey question real quick and i promise i wont talk about it anymore lol... - if you ever see rachel on could you just say something like "i gave your screenname to peter so expect him to message you" or "can i give your screenname to pete?" i feel like a stalker lol

RMSprinter87: shutting up now

AFQT1012: oh ya i fergot to tell u

RMSprinter87: do i want to know?

AFQT1012: ya

RMSprinter87: k then

AFQT1012: i was talkin to her at lunch and the reason she gave me her s/n was because i convinced her to talk to u online

AFQT1012: she said "ok cuz online is easier"

RMSprinter87: sexy

RMSprinter87: damnit i was gonna talk to her in person too lol

AFQT1012: and i said if he freaks u out, then just block him

AFQT1012: lol

RMSprinter87: she didnt turn i tell you

RMSprinter87: oh thanks...

RMSprinter87: lol

RMSprinter87: "hi"


AFQT1012: she wont

RMSprinter87: lol

RMSprinter87: its humorous... just laugh and ill feel better

AFQT1012: trust me- but sometime u owe me because she wasnt even thinking about it before i talked to her

RMSprinter87: i know i do

RMSprinter87: jeff eh? eh?


AFQT1012: hehe

RMSprinter87: what did you mean by her saying it was easier... was she interested in talking to me?

RMSprinter87: or do i just scare people like i always want to

RMSprinter87: guys anyways...

RMSprinter87: and liesel rules... she actually tells me the truth.. or what i want to hear... either way it makes me happy

AFQT1012: she thinks its easier to talk to people online

RMSprinter87: she said id scare her if she didnt know me lol

RMSprinter87: it is...

RMSprinter87: kinda degrades it though

AFQT1012: lol o well

RMSprinter87: but i mean... did she like want to talk to me before that or interested in it?

RMSprinter87: just too shy or something?

AFQT1012: stop asking

AFQT1012: lol i cant figure all this out

RMSprinter87: lol

RMSprinter87: k

RMSprinter87: sorry




So... if you picked that out... I'm thinking she is really shy from that and maybe wanted to talk to me all this time... unfortunately our friend is kinda slow in the head and doesn't understand alot of what I say... Heh, oh well, feedback would be nice!

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Hi There !


Talking online is "easy" there is no question about that. However, there is a trace of the conversation as you have so well illustrated to us here!! Do you want your conversation with her on the web ?


Anyway, it's easier, because you can hide behind the screen, and you can wait and wait before you answer. To get the results you want, talking to her online can only be a meeting point. I would not discuss anything about being in a relationship with her to anything else until you talk in person. Don't give up on this, and explain that to her if she demands to talk online only.

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Yes, I had never planned to make any discussions about relationships online unless she brings it up... and even then I may just ask to talk about it more in person. All I want to accomplish through this is to get to know her and make her more comfortable so she will talk to me in person as well.

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Hi- you sound like a very nice guy. I can tell you -yes, I think she is interested in you. When woman who are shy look and then look away, its because of fear. The fact that you are a year older is also cool to her. I would suggest that you talk to her or write her a short note asking her to meet you after school. I know you must think this sounds a little hookey, but trust me- the intrigue will get her. Go somewhere that you are comfortable - I am not sure what your interests are but maybe some place that has other people around so you are both more comfortable. By the way, you should follow your gut instinct - your intuition is always going to tell you the answers to your questions- so watch and see how your body feels- you will be surprised at how much you already know! Hope this helps and good luck!

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