Being sexually comfortable.

[Trojanmn2]

I have a huge dilemma with me and my girlfriend. We have been going on for about 3 1/2 months and we've been friends over a year, she was unexperienced in sex before her last relationship. In her last relationship, which was a good friend of mine I knew was very sexually aware, very experienced, he claims he's the bigshot with a 9 hour record. and from what I heard was she had a record of 5 with him. Basically he got her into sex, and from observing her reaction and actions towards, (touching, feeling, kissing) I can she enjoys it, but knows now that sex is not the basis of a relationship in which I truly hold myself. Fast forward, they broke up 7 months ago, it was a bad relationship I was trying to help, and she didn't like the idea being used for sex and forced into it even when they weren't together, and now its us in the present. There are no regrets, we're very good friends and lovers, we DO love each other, and we know how we want each other very much, sexually, physically, mentally. We don't a relationship built on sex, and thats what we have done. A few weeks ago, the touching and the feeling and the expressions were there and getting heavier, and the last time we had sex was a week and a 1/2 ago. Its hard for us to find a comfortable spot, so sometimes we end up in the car, or ahem* my office. But everytime, we would be into it, we claim each other the best we have had, its true, but she felt disturbed because of the bad memories she had in her last relationship, so she is beginning to withdraw herself. It was either the position we were in, or something I did, but she didn't want me to feel bad because she claims its not my fault, I claim the same about her. Everytime, I have made sure the feelings are mutual, because of the feelings we have for each other and have HAD for each other for awhile. Its not a fling and we have already established that. She's not sure how to behave, and I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable. We still love each other very much. But she doesn't want me to change the way I am, just be myself, as I want her to be herself too. maybe she needs time?

[Mar]

Talk to her about it. Ask her what's most comfortable for her, and tell her what's most comfortable for you. You can certainly have a relationship without sex, but with the rest of the good stuff, there's no need to break things off or anything drastic! If both of you are having an issue with it, simply hold off until the time is right for both of you. It shouldn't be anything but a relief to both of you, if having sex is causing these problems, and she should certainly appreciate the consideration you're giving her!