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young marriage vs. marriage when you are older with baggage


natash24
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I have a question for you all. I am 27 and am feeling as if I am getting jaded with dating and I am starting to panic because so many people my age or younger are getting married. My question is when one gets married later in life rather than earlier is it a disadvantage because by then you have become so beat up by the dating scene, have so much baggage that you can't ever be as well adjusted as the happy young couples? Like any dating or marriage stories you can tell me would be much appreciated. I am so afriad all the great good men out there are already married and I will have to settle. Please any honest input would be much appreciated

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I am from the land of where everyone get married quickly like 18 for girls and 21 for boys. And yes it is like that here in Utah. Now will all the good guys be taken No there is alot of good guys out there. I am 21 so I am young, I did not start dateing until 19, mostly becouse I was not in a hurry to get an relasionship and the whole shy thing. But if you havent found someone that you would like to marry then dont lower your standerds. My mother did not get remarried until she was 45, her first marrige was 30 so dont give up. I hope that this helps.

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In my 20s I preferred women in their 30s, when i was in my 30s i preferred women in their 30s, and now that Im 41, I still prefer women in their 30s.

 

Women by this age, in general are:

 

1: At their sexual peak.

2: Know who they are, what they like, and who they want.

3: Dont play mind games, and appreciate a good man when they find one.

4: They want long term relationships and to settle down.

 

Its true that they may have emotional baggage and "issues" but the pros outweigh the cons. many are women are like me, had their heart broken have not allowed this to affect their ability to love, and in away, its good news for me, because when they see who I am, they will appreciate me.

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Good question about when to get married! I think that it depends on your reason. I like the idea that you should at least be in your mid 20s. After that, however, it's up to who you find. It's up to why you enter marriage. I think that the best reason to enter marriage is because you truly love that person and you don't think that there is anyone in the world who would be better suited for you. Not because you don't have dating experience but because you've dated a lot of people and come to the realization of what you really want.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I am 42 and recently got married. This is my first marriage and ....no there is nothing wrong with me...i guess i just never met anyone who I wanted to spend my life. I settled for nothing but the best. I know who I am and had dealt with the past heartbreaks and challenges life threw me. I was sure all the good men had been taken...thankfully I was wrong and as the years went by I knew he was out there somewhere.

 

I think if you marry when you are older you know exactly what you want in a man and have learnt how to communicate to your man exactly what you want. I am lucky as I have found the man I have been dreaming about since I was a little girl.

 

I went to my friends weddings in my early 20's then watched them drift away following their own paths. Being single in a married circle was too complicated back then. It is very difficult meeting men and when you reach your forties, you have the issues of marrying divorcees with children. A whole new set of challenges however I would not swap my husband for anything.

 

I met my husband through the internet and we knew on our first date where we would end up and I have never been happier.

 

Hope this gives you hope.....

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  • 2 months later...

Well,

 

As far as being older getting married here's what happened

for me and my wife.

 

We both had a lot of baggage, but we both had done

alot of personal work, therapy, etc.

 

We both know the importance of living an authentic

life.

 

It's been magic. But it's probably is difficult to find

someone who has done personal work who isn't

trapped into the "idea" of personal work if that makes

any sense.

 

On the other hand, I also got married young (my first wife).

We're still good friends, but it was definitely not the wisest

thing to do. We didn't really know who we were at the time.

 

Hope that helps somewhat, anyhow.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Greetings,

 

It all depends on who you meet and hook up with. I know someone who got married at 15 and is still married today, almost 30 years later, and she and her husband are the happiest couple I've ever known. I know people (including myself) who have been through 1 or 2 divorces and are on their third marriage, or single, and still haven't figured everything out, or they keep picking the wrong partner, or whatever. Good luck finding someone who thinks the same way you do about a relationship.... I still haven't found that person and I'm 33. I honestly hope you can.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I'm 22/f and usually try to date guys within a five year age

difference that way you have more in common like similar

experiences. The guy I like now is 19 but most I typically

like are 22-25. I dont see anything wrong with age gap

relationships, it depends on the person and the person

you're with, but I had a friend who at 18 dated a guy who

was 27, ended up pregnant, the guy still lived at home with

his parents, didn't have a job while I have one friend who is

the opposite and won't get in a relationship at all unless shes

sure the guy can look out for her reputation based on her

values then she gets dumped frequently because they can't

handle needing to look out for her all the time. One of my

friends who is married has a few years gap between her

and her husband theyve been married for a year and its

working out ok so I think age preference depends a lot on

the person.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi natasha,

 

I am 31. I was in an 8 year relationship that ended amicably quite a few years back now. I guess I needed some time to find myself, after growing up with my ex so to speak. People change and can grow apart.

Anyway, I was happily single in my late twenties. I did use to think that I was never going to find anything better than what I had, and I did want to get back with him.

But I'm glad I did not. Because I met the most amazing man that showed me that there was something better out there than what I was hanging on to! We have both been in previous long term relatinships respectively, and we each learnt a lot about ourselves, through the good and the bad. And we use that to strengthen our relationship.

I have friends who have been married for ten years and are so very happy still. But I think it has to do with you, and how you feel. I couldn't have been married that young. But I just see that I am a late developer, and that they were lucky enough to find eachother so young. My husband and I just took our time to find eachother and we have never been happier in our lives.

So don't despair, there are still good men out there who don't have too much baggage either!

 

Cheers and don't give up!

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