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This is my first time of doing this kind of thing. Asking people for help on the internet. I am just so lost and alone. My family and friends are telling me so many things and I do not know what to do.


Jared and I were dating for more than a year. We broke up about a week ago. He doesn't want to be in a relationship with me because we are so different and he can't handle our problems. We are both in college but he lives in NY and I live in KY. He goes to college here but he lives in NY. We been through the long distance thing and it actually worked. Now that we are back together (in person) our relationship fell apart. We fought all the time and we hated how each other made the other one feel. I am so in love with him. He is my first love. He loves me too but he is wise and he knows what he has to do to make his life better. Me not be in it. The thing is...we are still doing everything (sex,kissing,cuddling) but he doesn't want to get back with me. Its over and we both know it. I am just so heart broken. I am trying not to deal with it and just act like everything is ok.


I do not know how to deal with it. Everyone is telling me to make me happy but I just want to make him happy. I am not happy with our current situlation. I want to get back with him. He just wants to be my friend. He is so great, he is helping me through this. He is still my best friend and we still hang out. But its not helping me get over him. I need to get over him. How can I move from being in love with him to just being his friend? Should I not be his friend and cut him from my life? Would it make it easier on me to get over him? I am so confuse and I am so weak. I can't let him go but I can't deal with what we have now. He is everything to me. I would love to tell him to F. Off but he is so great by talking to me and being here for me when I need him. Will someone please give me some advice.


Thank you

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HiTaraMichelle !


Welcome to the eNotalone forum and thanks for sharing with us !


You are giving your ex boyfriend his cake and he is eating it. You give him the sex etc, and he will take it without the committment. You need to split from him or get back with him. Do not let this situation continue though.


Regarging being friends, well it takes a certain type of person to remain friends after a breakup. I ask you one question. Could you spend an evening with your ex and his new girlfriend watching a film? That is the ultimate situation, but I say it because that is what will eventually cause the friends to not work. Jealousy, and harboured feelings and hopes.


If you are willing to be friends, and really mean just friends, then perhaps it can work between you. I do suspect that you will need some time apart first though so you can adjust to the concept of not being a couple.


Remember, if you need help, the forum is here to support you should you need us


Hope this helps you some,

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to be blunt, I think he is using you...and you are letting him

no contact for awhile would help you to see this for yourself

think about what you would say to a friend who was having the same problem...now say those things to yourself

you deserve to be treated with love and respect...people who are kind do not use other people for sex, etc.

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