This is about the ever-popular topic of girls....

[walkinginmemphis]

This is sort of a complicated advice request, so please bear with me while I try to explain.

 

I met this girl about a month ago in school, and started flirting with her and stuff. We're in many of the same classes, so i see her quite often. the thing is, ever time i'd try to talk to her, my mind would shut down. I couldn't think of anythign to say other than how's it going. I didn't want to seem like a jerk for not being social with her, so any conversations we had were really one-sided and small talk of nature. Now, I am completely inept when it comes to signals, and I wasn't getting anything back from her, so I asked her friend to find out where i stood. The girl said she wasn't ready for any relationship, which is fine i guess, being new to the area and all. but every time i try to talk to her in public, she either gives me a noncommittal reply, or nothing at all. yet, when I asked her to have lunch together, (platonically, of course), she was all for it, and we had a pretty good time. She knows that i like her, but i'm starting to have second thoughts, as it seems like she's really trying to avoid me. Could i be reading her completely wrong, and she's just shy, or am I wasting my time chasing her? thanks for any help you can give me.

[Hotshot7680]

I had the same exact thing happen to me but, the girl I like doesn't talk much to me, she just looks at me a lot

[Hero_99]

Alright, it sounds to me like you probably don't have a whole lot of experience when it comes to girls. You might have been doing a few things right , but somewhere you could have messed up. You could have given to much attention or looked needy. I don't know how you flirt with girls, so I can't comment on that much, but hopefully you teased her a little bit or picked on her jokingly.

 

Perhaps maybe you could use a few pointers to hopefully get you along on the right track.

 

First of all you shouldn't give a lick if the girl doesn't seem at all interested in you. If she is there fine if she isn't fine; you don't need her and she doesn't need you. Why? Well, there are tons of other girls out there that could possibly deserve to bask in your imminent presense so don't put all of you eggs in one basket.

 

The second thing that you need to remember is that YOU will be the focus of a relationship if there ever will be one with this girl in retrospect. Now, I don't mean YOU in a selfish sense; I mean it in the aspect that she is there with you for the ride or generally doing what you like to do.

 

Now I'm not saying you do, but if you don't do anything except play videogames all day long inbetween pornography peeks the only thing I have to say to you is get a job and a life. You're not going to get anywhere with women if you are wasting your energies not being responsible so quit and get out into life. Learn to have fun. Start doing things with friends on the weekends and focus on developing a sense of humour around people.

 

The third thing you need to remember is that you arn't a doormat. If this girl tries to manipulate you to do something that seems a little out of context with the situation or is pointless give her the biggest fattest grin you could possibly manage and say something sarcastic back to her. Then don't do what she says. Girls for seem reason like to test guys in this area and believe me if they sense weekness in you it's over, and yes they will pull that trick on you intentionally. Remember that you are the king of your castle, and she is another one of your faithful subjects bidding and competing to become your queen and don't let her forget that either.

 

I personally don't like girls who try to manipulate me for any reason and I lose any attraction I have for them afterwards. You should learn to do the same.

 

You might also be asking yourself,"How do I know when I am being manipulated?" If you are a passive person than this is something that you have to develope a minds eye for because you will instinctively do what she says otherwise. You can not be that passive around women and maintain a relationship with them. For example say that a girl tries to ask you to do something for her like say maybe reach for something up above her in a cabinet or in the fridge or something and she is to short to get it, and there is nothing she could stand on. Right now you have probable cause to help her and get what she askes for, but if there is a footstole just point out the footstool to her and have it use it.

 

Now for an example of manipulation. On the other hand if you are sitting at a table full of chairs and you are the only one sitting there, and a girl comes along and tells you to move because there are two or three other people going to sit at the table, which I mind you will not take up all of the chairs DON'T MOVE. She is telling you to do something illogical and you need to realize that logically you don't need to move so stand your ground.

 

Get it now? There are ways to show respect without looking like a pushover.

 

The forth thing you need to remember is to be a MAN. And in case you don't understand what a man really is I will explain. A man is someone that understands and respect other people no matter who or what they are and does what is right in life no matter what the cost. Yes, sometimes women will lose their attraction for you and rich powerful men will try to take advantage of you because of your goodness and maybe even the whole world will disagree with you and maybe even try to punish you for doing the right thing, but that is the cost sometimes so deal with it. It's the cost of being a man!

 

Maybe I'll list a few more pointer after I get some sleep, but for me it is late now. Hope you develope into the ladies man you always wanted to be and remember to keep God first; if that is your thing of course.