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Completely Confused in Virginia


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Alright this is my first post, and I think it'll be fairly long but I really need to know what people think about this whole thing.


Okay, so I come back to school this year and after a week I realize that I have become completely attached to this one girl. Now I'm a sophomore in college and she's a Senior....so I thought it odd and I keep it secret for awhile. One night I drink way too much and mention to a friend that I like someone that he knows. He guesses correctly and promises to keep it secret. I've known this girl ever since I came here my Freshman year so we've been friends for a good amount of time, so going to her apartment and hanging out with her and her friends was just normal routine for me. Every night that we would hang out everyone would go to sleep and then she and I would stay up watching TV until like 4 in the morning. I usually hate watching TV, but when I was with her I was happy beyond belief.


So we start hanging out on a regular basis, which was different from the year before when we almost never hung out. Then I started leaving away messages on AIM hinting that I was having better dreams because of the people I was with before I came home. So all her friends started thinking that I liked her. Then one night we had a concert, we're both music students. We ate a light dinner together, cause we knew we were gonna go out with everyone later, and then went back to watch the rest of the performances. Later that night I was talking to one of her friends that already knew about my liking her, and she told me that I came up that night in conversation after everyone went home. Turns out one of her other suite mates asked if she would hang out with me, without the rest of the group, if I asked her, and she said yes. So that really bolstered my spirits.


After hearing that I started asking her to places. One night I asked her if she wanted to go see a movie and get some food, but because of that damn hurricane here she told me that everyplace was closed down. Then I call her one night and ask her if she'd like to hang out, just the two of us. I get a call back later, telling me that there's a party at a friends place and I was invited to go. So we go with this group that we hang out with, and things were going alright, we were glancing back and forth at each other, catching each others eye. I drink way too much again and end up telling all her suitemates that I have a thing for her. They already knew, and they thought that I should definitely tell her, but not that night.


Party ends, everyone goes home, and that's when the shit hits the fan. I call her cell and leave a message that even to this day I can't remember what was said. I im her and tell her that I left a message on her phone apologizing for anything bad I may have said because I didn't mean it, unless I said that I liked you in which case I meant it. Yeah, I spilled the beans over instant messager. Then I followed up like 30 mins later after more sobering up and just ranted about how I liked her and if she didn't like me we could still be friends, I would just have to deal.


Next morning I wake up and practice for 4 hours. I come home and watch a movie. I get a message from her asking if she could stop by to talk to me. This is something that she hadn't done before, I was always at her place. So I brush my teeth again, and get ready to see her. She gets here and we have idle chit chat, and then silence which is the perfect time for me to change the subject back to the important thing. She starts talking and the lights go out...then back on again. She continues to talk, and then my annoying roommate comes into the living room complaining about how his computer turned off....he stands there with us in silence for what felt like an eternity, and then looks for food and skampers off. We wrap up the conversation and then she leaves to go practice.


After she left I wanted to die...I didn't exactly remember everything that she said, all I could remember was that it was negative. I don't remember there being a reason for a no, or anything. So I talk to her later and tell her the truth. I said that with all the distractions I didn't exactly understand everything that she said. So she said "Well basically I said that I like you, and Like hanging out, but would like to keep our relationship a friendship." That hurt. I had no reason as to why that was that way, but I just took it and changed subjects. Immediately after she told me that I invited her to the season opener of the hockey season here, and insisted that she didn't have to pay. She accepted and we are both looking forward to it.


Here is where I bring in outside information. This girl, as far as my friends and her friends know, has yet to date anyone in her 4 years at college. She's liked guys before, but no one knows if she's ever dated one, even in high school. Because of this people seem to think she's a lesbian, though she isn't. How is it that a girl can go from being interested in hanging out with someone to completely shutting them off? Is it my fault because I didn't give it enough time? Could it be something with her where she's afraid to date, or afraid of commitment? This whole Friendship conversation, and the party the previous night happened a week ago tonight.


I really like this girl. I would do anything just to be with her. I would like to know if there is a reason for the friendship only thing, but I don't know how to ask. Should I continue trying to get closer to her? Is there any possibility that she could change her mind and want to have something more with me? Should I make a move at this hockey game? Is there anyway to ask her for a reason without sounding too desperate? Is there anyway that I can tell my true feelings and tell her that we should at least give it a chance, without ruining our friendship? Please help me out here. I've been in hell this past week. This is the first time I've ever been rejected, and I've been having a hard time dealing with it.


One last thing. This may or may not have importance, but it's something I've realized. There are six girls that live in her apartment. I'm friends with all of them, and last year I had a thing for one of them, which was kinda obvious but nothing came of it. I realized that I have either physically touched, flirted, or teased everyone of them except for the one that I have the biggest crush of my life on. Do you think that she realizes this as well? Should I make an attempt at flirting with her like that?


Sorry for the length of this post, but this is a big problem of mine. Thanx to all that read this. Please respond.

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don't try to change the situation, it will make thing worse, girls are not attracted by guys who seem desesperate to be with them. if you make her understand you're still attracted by her but don't need her, she may come to you. but if you start to idealise her and need her desperately she won't be interrested in you and might even run away. people are attracted in things that they are not sure to own, if she feels like she can have you whenever she wants she won't be interrested or might just use you. don't be the one to need her, it's the worst part in a relationship. you always have to thik about what is good for you first, and believe me being her dog is not good for you. i've been there.

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