Vandilism33 Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 Whenever me and my girlfriend start getting intamate, things seem to be off to a good start. I try and arouse her with fourplay, and I finger her and I orally play with her breasts. But when I try and go down on her, 3 out of 5 times, she turns It down, and can't explain why she just dosn't want me to do it. When I do give her oral, she seems to like it, but I can tell that all the pleasure she gets out of it is blocking out her self-consciousness. She won't let me see her naked, but she has seen me naked. She tells me that she really wants this problem worked out. She dosn't know why she is like that, and mutiple times it has lead to her and I crying in eachothers arms. She and I are very much In love, and I want her to be completely comfertable with her nudity with me. What can I do? Link to comment
Kalika Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 How old are you? How long have you been together? Some women have this unfortunate idea that they're ugly no matter what, or their body is imperfect, etc.. I have an idea for you. Why not have her get naked alone, and remain under a sheet if she prefers. Then, you come in the room and do the same, crawl into bed next to her. Then, just hold each other, or sit there and talk, cuddle, read a book, whatever your hearts desire. I'm talking about being intimate without actually having sex. Completely take the sex out of it for now, and make it just about improving your comfort levels, and being intimate without being sexual. Do this as often as necessary for her to feel more comfortable. (This is a technique used by couples to get reacquainted after one commits adultery, by the way...) If that doesn't work, maybe you can gently recommend she talk to a counselor about it, as it's obviously affecting her sex life and emotional health. Link to comment
lovelyc Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 Just give her time man....if she isn't feeling as pressured to do it..then perhaps she will open up to it on her own...But pressure sometimes makes it a bit hard...I'm sure you probably have said "let me see or let me do this/that" and yes that is pressure..let her open up on her own...you can not control that her comfort as you think you can...esp. when their is pressure involved I also agree that age or inexperience has a lot to do with it... Be safe and be smart Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 The problem is that you cannot do anything this is her issue and hers alone. She has to find some way to deal with it. Link to comment
kmartin85 Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 i used to be just like this, but my boyfriend eventually helped change this. he would always compliment specific parts of my body even when we werent sexual. she may also be scared that she may taste or smell funny, that was my biggest fear, then he would compliment that part too. Link to comment
shyshutterbug Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 Have you verified that she's comfortable with this degree of intimacy yet? You didn't mention your age or how much experience she has, but she may simply not be ready to go that far. Let her set the pace and don't push. As long as she's okay with it, I think Kalika's suggestion is a great idea. Link to comment
valiantv Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 he won't let me see her naked, but she has seen me naked I had a similar thing with my girlfriend, so I began to not put pressure on her to let me see her naked... Then I discovered that while she didn't want me to see her naked, she wanted me to want to see her naked! In other words her fear was that if I saw her naked I might not find her sexy... But I made the mistake of thinking she just didn't want me to see her naked... which I did!!! So not saying it's the same thing here, but if you do see her naked, make a big deal about how sexy she looks! Link to comment
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