He is married!

[Faith]

He is married with kids.

 

For a year and a half, I have been hanging on aimlessly. Although things are long over between them (way before me) and everyone in the family knows my existence, he will not initiate the D word (divorce) because he felt very guilty towards her and the children. I strongly believed that he loves, adores me like a goddness and he wants to be with me but he doesn't want to be the one to initiate the end.

 

We are currently separated as the situation was getting out of hand. Since then, I have chosen to live my life in another state (secluded) but we are still in contact. Yes, I loved him deeply but his approach of handling the situation just kept me wondering when he will leave me -uncertainty. I don't wish to waste my youth and passion for love but at the same time I can't seem to get out of it as I feel that I'm being unfaithful to him (after what he had done and sacrifices he made for me). I'm an extrovert person and very well-liked but I choose to be in the closure as he feels a threat because of my personality. I'm willing to do so but at the end of the day.... is it worth it?

 

I've met men who are willing to love me despite my estranged relationship but some how I can never give them a chance as I felt that I betrayed my existing relationship and how could I possibly ask for their trust. Am I flushing my love life away?

 

Does anyone have the same kind of experience? Please advise me.

 

Faith

[Aura Seeker]

Hi there,

 

Of course you are flushing your life away. He is married. Let's just say he does leave her, what kind of a man does that make him.

 

He is out having an affair on his wife AND kids......do you really think that he wouldn't do the same to you if he left her and married you? Who wants him? He's a cheater, and he'll cheat on you!

 

Just my opinion,

 

A

[faeriechyld]

Hello there,

I understand that you are involved with a married man who will not leave his wife and kids although they know about you. I also understand you have separated yourself from the situation for the time being to reassess the situation.

 

First of all, I would like to say I am proud of you for taking a step back and analyzing the situation. I am hoping that you will use this time to yourself wisely and rethink the whole situation and how damaging this may be for yourself and this man.

 

I understand that there were problems going on in the marriage before you came along, but that doesn't neccessarily mean that you are entirely innocent. Getting involved with someone who is married is a very risky situation and can give you a bad reputation and can hurt you in your life. As of now you are sitting around waiting for this man to finally leave his wife and children for you. However, it is apparent to me that he is not strong enough to leave and this should be a red flag for you that he is not willing to take the risk of leaving his "happy" home to start a life with you.

 

Also, as the other poster said, this man is currently cheating on his wife. There is a strong chance he may do the same to you. Are you willing to take that risk? You've waited a long time for something that may only end in a lot of pain for you. I suggest you take that into consideration during this separation.

 

My suggestion is this: pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on. You've waited a year and a half for a man who seems no closer to running to you with arms wide open than he was when your relationship began. Why wait around for someone who may never truly be yours when you could have any of the other men you mentioned who will love only YOU? He is not strong enough to leave his family and you are too good to continue to sit around and wait. It is not going to be easy and I know that, but I do feel that this is the action you need to take. It's not fair to you to sit around hoping that maybe tomorrow he will be yours alone. Why continue to share him with another woman? I suggest you leave it where it was and show some self respect by finding a guy who will respect you.

 

I hope this helped. Best wishes!