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I was the "dumper"


EricAK

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But, I am having some doubts.

 

BUT again...I simply do not have a level of trust towards the woman I am now having doubts as to my "dumping" her. We have a rather complicated situation, and it has caused much struggle from both ends (hers and mine.) However, after a period of time I and thought I am realizing there is still a string attraction and a feeling toward her which resembles that initial attraction and reason we became involved in the first place.

 

That said, how do you begin to even START breaking NC to think about trying to recconect and/or rebuild? And again, there is a MUCH larger issue in play in regards to all of this which I posted about a couple weeks ago and is being taken care of, but stills wiegh s in heavy in any of this process?

 

So how is it possible to rebuild when the trust has been destroyed? And how would you even break NC when you were the "dumper"? I still care about her, I am not sure in what way, and I feel it is something important enough to find out.

 

E

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Yes... interesting question, myself being in your opposite situation, my ex and I've been apart 7 months till he came knocking on my door over a month and a half ago now. And there is a dynamic attraction between us both as well....

 

He's also confused he says, he loves me, but has to "work" on himself but expects to hang around and even be intimate, and thats hard for me to understand.....

 

Wish you guys weren't so confused, because what you do is confuse us....?

 

Sorry just trying to understand you and my ex or whatever he is?

 

Sandy

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I dunno, probably stupidity and the ridiculous self doubt that ALWAYS comes in the head when you drop someone.

 

And add in geography (I live in a rural Alaska town) and (probably) an unhealthy penchant for beating a dead horse even further...I am type A and always feel like hell when I quit or don't try to make everything perfect in my life and this seems to be a failure. Maybe I am trying to figure out if we/I gave it my best?

 

As for the breach of trust, there were several issues, none I feel like repeating right now.

 

E

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If you bought a lemon of a car that the mechanic told you would never run again without over a million dollars worth of work and the car only cost you 200 dollars so far would you have him fix it just so you wouldn't feel like a failure even if you might not be able to find another car for a while in the meantime?

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I dunno, probably stupidity and the ridiculous self doubt that ALWAYS comes in the head when you drop someone.

 

And add in geography (I live in a rural Alaska town) and (probably) an unhealthy penchant for beating a dead horse even further...I am type A and always feel like hell when I quit or don't try to make everything perfect in my life and this seems to be a failure. Maybe I am trying to figure out if we/I gave it my best?

 

As for the breach of trust, there were several issues, none I feel like repeating right now.

 

E

Did you ever confront her, like in the form, "When you....", "I felt....", and it "caused, "

 

I think leaving someone without confronting them is not a good thing.

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why do you try just being her friend and hanging out with her. I don't think you should get back into something with her if you are unsure. It will only cause heart break on her end if you decide to dump her again. I'm not sure of the other issues but if she cares enough she will be your friends with you.

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Hi Eric!

 

I read back through your posts and wonder what is making you feel you made the wrong decision? I think you did exactly the right thing because this girl has gotten bad news written all over her. You say you hate a drama, but you are setting yourself up for plenty of that if you go back.

 

Just my two cents worth.

 

Take it easy.

 

Mark

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Hi Eric!

 

I read back through your posts and wonder what is making you feel you made the wrong decision? I think you did exactly the right thing because this girl has gotten bad news written all over her. You say you hate a drama, but you are setting yourself up for plenty of that if you go back.

 

Just my two cents worth.

 

Take it easy.

 

Mark

 

I couldn't agree more. And once again, as I softened and started to rethink my decisions, I found out MORE about her past and MO. Very bad news indeed. As much as I don't like being cold, I have to be. She has a very troubling and disturbing past. More than I want in my life.

 

E

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