smackie9

Any updates?

Emotional attachment is very powerful, but when you both go your own ways, and time passes, those feelings will pass too. You will look back and wonder what you saw in him. So don't let those emotions push you around. You are best to let go as hard as it might feel. You will be happier once you are released from it's grip.

8 minutes ago, Priya_1801 said:

Yeah this is the reason. 

This is quite normal. Mom talk: this will take getting used to. It may or may not last but keep learning, and experiencing things in life. It's not all bad, you will get through it. Things that seem big, will become small.

All you have to do is thank him for his honesty. Then proceed to tell him his behavior was inappropriate.  Him being intoxicated, and having poor judgment is concerning. This time you will give him a pass but he's not off the hook...that this is a warning, and that there better not be a next time.

An interested man shows he's interested! You dodged a bullet.

Just now, DarkCh0c0 said:

@smackie9 inviting an ex is one thing, and lying about your relationship status to please her is a complete different thing.

She just revealed the latter of that conversation...if she posted it in the first place I wouldn't have made that post.

Guy is a total jerk.

3 minutes ago, slimKimmie said:

She said “i thought you had a gf” and hung up and he started calling her back saying “i don’t have a go she just tags me in stuff in Facebook” 

Well why didn't you just say that. And why post about it here? You know what you need to do right at that moment...breakup and give him the boot. No brainer darlin.

Reverse psychology seems to get the info out.

I have an out going personality..I try to not look at the ex as the enemy, even if I get snubbed. All my hubby's exes, I always wanted to meet them, and held my hand out to them with confidence.

He just sounds like he has that hyper type of personality...gets too excited and starts to say stupid stuff. You know doesn't think before he speaks.

Well I think he's a bit thick headed. I don't think his comment about being single was meant to be serious. He's just getting pissy with her. She knows he's not single. To settle this, invite her yourself. Call her. This will give you the opportunity to get to know her and form an alliance.

7 hours ago, Heid said:

Yes, but he just says that he doesn't have anything against her, and there is never a solution from him. I asked him to talk to her about things if he had something that was really bothering him

 

This is called diverting. He won't communicate, he just brushes over things to pacify you. Yikes!

I have been with my guy for over 30 years, and my advice is, you can't have a healthy long term relaitonship without both parties able to have compassion, show compromise, respect, trust, honesty, compatibility, empathy, and able to understand each other, proper communication, etc.

All you have been doing is putting out fires in this relationship. Also putting up with his abusive outbursts, rude comments, towards you and your mother. Having to bite your tongue, look the other way, wait for him to cool down. This spells disaster.

Let me guess....he's the soul provider in this relationship....so your hands are tied?

He's acting like a coward. He would prefer to criticize and cut people down behind their backs. Nice guy.

You are being a shlep for letting her get away with all this. Most people would call "dating in secret" a big red flag and a deal breaker...she must be incredibly hot.

2 minutes ago, Heid said:

Oh, yeah i just meant it affects me a lot when i hear him say these things about her, she is the only family i have and i would love for him at least to respect that. I did not break up with him, and im not planning to, i love him very much. And yes he has been really quiet, i told him everything i had to say and he's just very stubborn and doesn't back down. He wouldn't even apologise for calling me an idiot last night..

And this is the type of partner you want to spend the rest of your life with?

5 minutes ago, Heid said:

I talked to him about getting a hotel or an apartment while he is here, and he doesn't want that. Do i just let him vent to my face, i have never seen anything my mother has done to warrant what he says.

have you ever asked why? and ask what his solution would be?

IMO if he doesn't stop, doesn't care to stop, that is the person you are marrying. You are stuck with him and his attitude.

2 minutes ago, Heid said:

Im sorry but this is not the problem, we are young and are saving up to buy our own house, we don't want to rent, he is very comfortable here and has never complained..

His snide remarks about your mother says other wise. My advice is to rent for the month he is back, not for the whole duration of your stay there.

Look we are outside looking in trying to give you some perspective that you may not see.

OK so have you put your foot down and told him to zip it?

I say get a temp hotel room type place when he gets in from fishing. He goes back out, you go back with your mom.

So why not get your own place anyways? He wants privacy when he gets home.

I wouldn't like it either...I like my space and my privacy. There's noway I could live with an in law, and feel comfortable about it.

A lot of organizations, businesses offer the public alternatives for fun activities to get people back out socializing. It's all there on their websites. Put on a mask and go out.