xc460

hi all there is this girl that works in a bookstore near me. i go into the store at least once a week, and she is usually working when i visit the store. usually i will be standing around browsing books, and most of the time she is helping customers or stacking books. every time she sees me, she looks directly at me, and winks really obviously. the winks used to be less obvious, but not any more. i have talked to her a little, but not more than hello, or how are you going, are you busy etc. then a few days ago, i was standing at a bus station, and she was walking past. she waved at me and mouthed "hi", but kept walking. i waved back at her and she grinned. i am pretty sure that i should take this body language as meaning that she likes me. however, i don't want to make an idiot of myself. if anyone could provide some suggestions or advice as to if they think she is interested, or just being flirty etc, i would really appreciate it! thanks

Well I bet you were glad to hear from her! There is no doubt that she would appreciate being able to confide in you at any time, especially a difficult time for her such as this. Your decision not to talk about the relationship between you is a good one. As much as I'm sure you are longing to know what she is feeling and when the "break" will end, it is most possibly something she is not even thinking about, and is unaware of the painful effects this is having on you. However, her calling you to talk is a good sign that she is still thinking about you a lot. Her deciding she wants a break from the relationship was most probably for what she said, to sort her feelings out. For instance, if she was aware that she was becoming increasingly depressed to begin with, she may have used the "break" to slightly distance herself from you to determine if the depression was anything to do with the two of you. On the other hand, it is also possible she didn't want you to see her in the depressed state, because she didnt want you to think you were the cause of her depression. She probably just doesn't want to make you unhappy by sharing her depression. i know it will seem to you like you would have been happier without the break, by trying to help her work through it, but if she is withdrawing from everyone this wouldn't have seemed like a good option to her when she made the choice. I think the Valentines gift was a good idea, to let her know you still care for her. Remember, you have been together for two years, and I am sure her feelings for you have not just vanished, most likely just clouded by other emotions or problems. I am sure she will appreciate the gift, and be grateful that you are thinking of her. Depression is a strange thing. When I was depressed I also found myself in denial - saying to myself and everyone around me that I was not depressed. I did not have a girlfriend at the time, which in hindsight was probably a good thing. I feel that I might have done the same thing as she did, in order not to depress my partner further, had I been with someone at the time. I started noticing that everyone said I seemed depressed and withdrawn. I dismissed their comments, and continued about my life. However, I ended up noticing myself I did not see family and friends hardly at all. I started thinking about the depression consciously from this point on. Every day I made extra effort to be nice to people, and chat and smile. It took a fair while, but I feel things are back to normal. When she says the space she needs is day to day, I can relate to that. My mood towards contacting people changed greatly from hour to hour when I was depressed. I am sure she will overcome the depression and things will return to a happy state between you. Good luck!

pktmkm, Definitely a difficult situation. I guess she is ovbiously depressed about something, i am sure like you say the break is nothing to do with the relationship. This is going to sound a bit strange, but I've been through a similar experience. It is possible that she is unaware of her mood state or depression levels shall we say. you think she is playing a sort of game with you \ your emotions or something. First of all, you have known her for two years (maybe longer). Does this seem like something she would be capable of? Personally, i don't believe she would be playing games, if she is really in a depressed state. i went through some depression and my attitude \ manner towards people, especially those close to me, changed dramatically from day to day. it is something i was half aware of, but only really able to realise after the situtation had occurred. By space (or a break), does she mean just you, or is she withdrawing from everyone who is close to her? if it is not just you, it is unlikely she is playing games. it sounds like she needs your support and help through whatever she is trying to deal with (as much as it may seem she doesnt) i would reccommend standing by her if you feel it is right. hopefully, she will manage to overcome the depression, and she will remember and be grateful for all your support. Best of luck.

I personally would see it as being sweet and would secretly appreciate the effort that went into the card. It's the thought that counts, not the money! I'm sure he will love the card ------

thanks all for your ideas. i went with b in the end, because like chesnick says it should give indication if she has a bf or not.

hi all. i am having trouble deciding what to do about asking this girl out. here's how it is. she works at a small shop near me where i go 3-4 times a week. the first time i saw her i thought she was really cute. however she never really acknowledged me aside from being polite. after going there for 2-3 weeks, just last week she started giving me these really big smiles and becoming more chatty. i wasn't sure what was going on, but i responded likewise. now i am sure she is giving me more attention than is normal and flirting a lot. anyway i have decided i need to do something, but am trying to decide between (a) an anonymous rose for valentines day addressed to her, and then owning up to it either this week or next and asking her out depending on her reaction, or (b) just asking what her plans are for the weekend and then asking her for coffee etc. i really don't know what is the best way to approach this!! any advice would be heaps appreciated thanks!