elyk1212

I am following this one because I have similar issues. If you don't mind the slightly off topic nature, I have a few questions: How long were you with your Ex before things broke? How did you end up being friends after everything, did you initiate, did she, etc? By the way, her friend sounds like a scandalous manipulator. Sheesh, how can anyone do something that hurtful? I mean your Ex is supposed to be her friend too. I would advise steering clear of that girl (in the long run) But first, confronting her about it all might be a good move. If it were me, I would be very calm and careful not to upset her, and I would be objective. If you upset her, there go more crazy lies and garbage. Then slowly wean your ex off that girl, she is trouble. Really, people like that shouldn't even go outside, they contribute to the cesspool of dishonesty running rampant in the world. Seriously, they should all be mutes. Sorry I didn't help much, just kind of ranted.

HEHE, I'll probably be in the GNU projects writing cross platform code, can't get into MicroSoft since all that dot NET hype. But who knows, I might be a MicroSoft leaning programmer when all is said and done Thanks for all the advise Apoc220 and everyone. This has really helped in my decisions.

Thanks for all the help friends. As a follow up, and to clarify, she doesn't have a new boyfriend. She says she was just seeing a guy, without anything serious, during the first few weeks after our break up. Apparently that was short lived, as goes my dating after this breaking period. By the way, I don't try to be sentimental, I am just kind of made that way. It is not as though I am trying to be 'feminine' to get chicks, that wouldn't be my style. The only reason I am this way is because of how I felt about her (5 years is a bit of a heart tugger). I guess I can pull off the who-cares-about-junk macho thing. But I really feel fake about it. Too bad for game playing, I guess it goes back to primal instincts or something. Michael2, my family and friends agree that cutting the cord is the best measure in the long run. I think I might hang out with her only once to see how things are and pan out. After that I am out of there. Any other opinions?

Ok, I met her in the bar by accident and she had this ear-to-ear grin and we talked about things that were new in our lives and she mentioned she just got laser eye surgery to correct her vision and is recovering. So I sent a cute little email. She seriously looked like she was going to burst talking to me. While HTML probably doesn't work on this bulletin board, here is my email to her in a link: link removed It contains a few inside jokes we had with each other (she had to wear goggle things after surgery etc). I know what you might say, I am a sappy nerd, I know. Anyhow, here was her response: So I replied with: She then responds with this: I feel like an idiot posting all this personal stuff, but I really would like some feedback. What do you suppose this all means. It sounds to me like she wants something, but I don't know for sure.. just friendship, something more? To many mixed signals. By the way, I slipped out of the bar a little early and she called me afterwards, asked where I was when she left and made sure to say good-bye to me and said that I should call her sometime and all of this kind of stuff. The emails I listed were from the next day. Advice would be very nice. Thanks. P.S. I am such a sappy @hole I was ready to ask this chick to marry me about 5 months ago. Go figure, I can't be helped. Us sentimental guys either turn out to be doormats or girls end up loving us to death, all depending on how we play the stupid games. Either way this all turns out, I am being a cool nonchalant mo-fo and I really am taking a step back from this one.

Hello everyone, As a preface, I am going to explain my problem and some residual details, but I will try to adhere to some type of brevity for the sake of anyone reading this. Right now I am a 23 year old that is on the teeter of my life, I am young enough to claim some naivety, and too old to be fooling around trying to date tons of girls. I had a serious relationship that started when I was 18 years old, just near the end of my High School days. The girl was a sweet inspiration to my life and has steered me in many positive ways. When I was younger I lacked formal direction and her presense helped guide me in productive ways. As our days went on I grew to love this girl more and more. My life started to branch out as I started a relatively successful online business and developed an affinity for programming and other involved hobbies, including college. After a few successes and failures in this area, it became a little of a burden that placed noticeable strain on our relationship. Also, this girl was a full time student at ASU in Nursing, an equally time demanding activity. I started cutting back on my school and my business, for the past few years, and placed more time in our relationship. By doing this I made a conscience effort to not become obsessively involved in my work, as I can sometimes do, and take frequent breaks to see her and stop and live a little. Despite this we slowly slipped into a routine and lost site of new things to do and experience together, probably due to being to comfortable with one another. As things started to pan out, I decided to pursue another degree program, Computer Science/Systems Engineering that began the early in the summer of 2003. Anyone in or involved in a University engineering program will know what I mean when I say this is a demanding program. Soon I noticed I was only seeing my significant other on weekends and the sporadic meetings did not help to mend the distance that we were feeling for each other. In about early to mid November we had a bit of a falling out in which I brought up our lack of sexual involvement with one another that lead to me saying something stupid and in half-truth, I told her I was "not happy" and slammed the door as she was leaving. This sparked a small time of contempt in which we did not speak for a week. Half because of what happened, half because of the busyness of our lives. I accidentally ran into her at a local bar in our area and she was all dressed up and with a pair of lowbrow friends, impertinent to her personality. By lowbrow you can gather the value I place on these girls, morally. I attempted to speak with her during this time but noticed she was in a larger group of people that met up with them, among them a group of guys. I danced with her one time, but communication was impossible as she was drunk and her friends kept pulling her away whenever I attempted to speak with her. Plus you know how bars can be, so loud how can anyone seriously talk? The next day I called her and she told me that she needed to 'experience new things', meaning see other people as I was her first and only real boyfriend. I told her how much she meant to me and how much I loved her, but being the logical person that I am I told her that she should do what ever she felt need-be to alleviate what she was feeling. Because, honestly, who wants to be in a relationship where you are not loved. As additional residual background, she had just turned 21 in August and is also graduating this spring 2004. She has always freaked out about new things in her life and these events bring doubts about her direction and unfortunately her relationship with me. She did something similar when she graduated high school, but not to this degree. The very next day, a mutual female acquaintance of ours took me out after learning of my situation and we kind of 'hooked up' a little. I was feeling vulnerable and I regretted ever doing anything. It made me feel sick to my stomach. Anyways, about a week after all that I emailed her and professed my feelings by writing a concise email. Later on about another week or so passed near the end of the semester and she wrote be back telling me to call her after I was done with my final exams. When I did I was a mess. I told her how I felt about everything, leaving out no details and probably no dignity either. I questioned her lack of correspondence with me, as she usually calls a day after breaking up apologizing and asking to get back together and found out she went on a few casual dates. (As I mentioned she has broken up with me about 2-3 other times in the 5 years we were together). I found this out indirectly by also bringing up whether I should move on and asking, "had she?". By the odd reaction I could tell something was different and told her I 'knew' something was going on. This made the truth be know, however I was told it was not serious. This made me lose it and I fell into a pit of desperation and depression that has lasted every day since. Occasionally she will call, usually coerced by an earlier email from me, and it makes it so much worse. The strangest part for me is she wants to start hanging out again. She says she wants to hang with me and one of my best friends (a female that is having a long distance relation with one of my other best friends). I don't know if this is just because she is board or what the story is, but she also tells me she enjoys talking to me and I should call. This whole "let's be friends", business is a bit much for me to handle, even though I was the one to extend the olive branch. I asked her if the guy she was seeing would mind if we were hanging out, because I would, she told me she wasn't really seeing him. #--------- The question -------------------- I don't know what to do in this situation, should I really start hanging out with the Ex? I am not very experienced with these things and I hoped someone with similar experience could tell me what they did, or perhaps how it unfolded for them based on their decision. I really still do love her and weep daily and even still dream every night about her. By dream I mean in the conventional sense, as of course I think about her, but all my dreams are filled with her face and accounts of us, fictitious or based on past events. It almost feels like there is something wrong with me… depressed I suppose. It has been almost 2 months since we ended, I am not sure if this is natural. Please do feel free to inquire about our relationship or myself, as I know details have been omitted, even with the verboseness of this post. Thank you to all that repond in advance and God bless.