poodlehead

i am not divorced (may or may not be on my way), but my parents have been for 10 years. it is so true that marriage should not be your source of happiness; it is impossible. humans fail; it's in our nature. personally, i do think less of someone who is divorced. it shows me that they do not take marriage seriously, so why would they later? i understand there are a million different reasons--and some good ones--that people get divorced. however, i take marriage as the ultimate sacrafice of love. it's a lifelong commitment. and you say "for better or for worse..." so you know what you're getting into. divorce is way too common and it saddens me. as for your feelings towards your wife, it could be because of something completely unrelated and you have simply labeled it as your love has gone. stress, a change, the lure of being single, even unhappiness with yourself. i would greatly recommend looking back on why you married in the first place, the positives in your marriage, the positive possibilities, and what it would be like divorced--in reality, not whatever the world tells you. don't get me wrong--it is very possible that you would be happy divorced, but more than likely not nearly as happy if you were in a marriage where you gave it your all.

my guess is that the odd hours have a lot to do with this. it's put stress on your relationship when you also had the stress of children and a household. it probably amplified any problems you guys were having. please do not even consider suicide. love yourself, your wife, and your children more than that. have you given her a reason to not trust you? i would try to go to counseling with her. if she refuses, go by yourself for now and she may come around. in the meantime i would be praying and try to stay in touch with your kids. make sure they don't become a weapon between you two. i hope things work out for you. good luck and remember "love always hopes."

my husband and i have been separated on and off since july of this year. it was mainly due to poor communication. a week after he left i found out that i was pregnant; i'm due in febuary. the times that we have tried working things out, we've made a lot of progress. however, i gave him a deadline (in january) to decide if he wants to stay married or not, and he went ahead this past sunday to tell me that he wants to be single. i've tried talking with him to see the reason behind this, but i'm not getting any answers other than that's what he wants. he did reveal to me that he has been talking to girls online, although he swears nothing has come out of it. i know that i'm going to get a lot of focus on yourself and your baby and i am doing that. i'm just wondering if it is wise to just let him go. we've only been married for 19 months and of course i love him dearly...and he says that he does love me and all that jazz, yet he thinks that because of this want he would be a poor husband. i agree, but it just seems like a response to the stress we've been under plus fatherhood looming around the corner, so i'm hoping that he'll realize that and wake up. what do yall think?