Phoenixfire

I only wish it was that easy...

Well i'm glad that was how you took it, because that perfectly describes how i feel. It's not just one person who left me, but others who hurt and used me... The recent events of my life have left me like that, waiting and looking for someone to save me...

I'm looking for feedback on the poem, what you think about what it portrays, tips and things... really anything

I wrote this poem and it basically describes how i feel right now... This is the first time i've put any of my work out to rhe public. I appreciate any feedback and any advice or help as to my mental "situation"... SHATTERED Scream. There is a yell, of pain, of sadness, of misery... Cry. The darkness is everywhere, i feel it within me... Dream. Dream of a better place, where i can finally be free... Lie. I tell the people around me i'm content and happy... Stake. Put my heart on the line, because i always do... Again. Stabbed in the back, by someone i thought i knew... Break. Reach that point where my soul gets snapped in two... Pain. Always left behind, left alone, so sad, so blue... Pray. Just keep trying, hoping for something, but what? Spoken. Words that rip my heart, while my soul gets cut... Stay. Here waiting where you told me to go... Broken. I guess you were lying, was it all a show? Useless. Me, that's how i feel now i'm just part one of two... Run. From my problems, from the world, it's true... Heartless. What other word can i use to describe you? Done. With all the pain and crap you put me through. Wait. With a knife pressed against my wrist. Debate. Whether my life is really worth all this. God. Can somebody out there hear me? God? Is there anybody up there really? Someone? I'm sick and tired of all those people who degrade me... Anyone. I've been shattered apart, and i need someone to save me...

I hate you. I hate everything you've done to me. I hate how you find joy in seeing me suffer. I hate what you've become, but more than that i hate what you've turned me into. I am an emotional wreck and i want to tell you to your face that you suck at singing, you suck at dancing, and you suck at love. I hope you never find happiness. I hope you get hurt as much as i am, and when you look back at me, at what you had and what you lost, don't you DARE come crawling back. You made me weak and i will never let that happen again.

There are two side to everything and right now this is my battle: My mind hates your guts, hates everything about you and wishes you would just dissappear from the face of the earth. My heart wants you back, still loves you, and it forgives you for everything you did. I don't know which to listen to... i don't miss you, i miss who you used to be. Every time you smile, the room lights up, people around you smile... and i die a little more knowing that smile will never again be for me. I hate what you have become and what you've turned me into. I miss who you were. I miss the real you. My joy warms my heart, but my sadness covers my soul.

Why? Why can't you see how much i still care? Can't you see my tears, my sad face, my broken smile? You have hurt me more then i have ever been hurt before in my life and i still love you so much. I just today found out that you cheated on me sexually while we were dating... i want to be mad. I want to hate you, but my heart cares too much. You have told me lies, broken my heart, and made me into a shell of the person i once was... am i that easy to get over? Why can't you look at me? Look at me and smile... please... just smile for me. just once... please... I still care...