dunkiez

Memories of happier times are still vivid. We were truly in love. Just the thought of spending time together was so exhilarating that the specific activities didn't even matter. We brought colour into each other's mundane activities. No matter what came your way, you could take comfort that at the end of the day, you still had me. It has been 11 months since that night and life is easier and better right now. It might lack a certain zest but its getting better each day. When I look at you now, it seems like I'm looking at a different person. It is like your soul is gone and replaced with a new unfamiliar one. Conversations no longer flow and much as I yearn to be with you like back in the days, I know that when we meet, our meetings often fall below my expectations. I am not as happy or excited as I thought I would be. Its strange, you seem so distant and I know you feel the same way too. Perhaps in time we can rediscover the magnetism that drew us together in the first place. Only time will tell and although I still miss you from time to time, right now, I know that the person that I miss dearly is gone. You have been gone since 11 months ago. I look forward to meeting you again and only time will tell if it would ever happen in this lifetime. Regardless, I treasure the times we spent together and a part of you will always reside within me. I wish you only the best in your life and thank you for everything you shared with me for four years.

kind of a hard day today, gloomy weather and having to study for finals. Every now and then you would flit into my mind and I would wonder if its the right thing to do given our circumstances. But logically I know I can't be in a relationship where I don't feel loved or appreciated like you used to. We both know you don't want to live a life without me, you just haven't figured out what you want.

We all know that breaking NC too early on when we are still healing is a bad idea. Yet we always feel like reaching out to them, to check if they are okay, to hear their voices again, to feel like they are in our lives again. But every time NC is broken you feel worse after, empty and alone again. Lets resist the urge to contact them and focus on getting back on our feet so that when our paths cross with our loved ones again, we can safely say that we can engage them from a place of strength and confidence, not a place of weakness and neediness because this is not our best self, we are better than that!

Am picking up my folks from the airport in a while and was so tempted to give you a call to go along and watch airplanes take off. But I know that if I see you again, it will just reopen old wounds.

Guys, my ex seems pissed that i am doing NC, what would be a good thing to tell them? I told her i needed some time.