rediscovering

Things that remind me of you just make me smile. No bitterness, no anger, no regrets.

Day 3 I'm feeling all right. The incessant contact I did with e-mails and Facebook messages and some texting for the past three/four weeks without getting any feedback because he wasn't "ready" to read my e-mails just made the need to reach out to him disappear. Obviously, we can only be friends he said if I am able to handle it. But it's only a maybe that he can see me in his future as just a friend. I don't constantly check my e-mails anymore nor do I reach for the phone... I've deleted him in all aspects of my life: my FB has been deactivated and he was blocked there before I did that, he's no longer on my Skype since I took him off my Contacts list and blocked him there as well. We're apart for the summer right now and I dread going back to uni in the Fall where I will most likely see him because of happenstance. Maybe it's how I'm feeling now and things will change later on, but honestly, I'm just trying to stay positive and not focus on the negative things. I have also tried to push him out of my mind whenever he pops in. He said he would reply to my e-mails when he's ready.. but when he does, I'll delete it or I won't read it until I'M ready this time around. He can't have control over me anymore and I won't let him. I've accepted the end of our relationship and I wish him the best, but right now, it's time for ME to move on and to HEAL. It may only be Day 3 and there will ups and downs, but I'm determined to get through this and get myself back while evolving to become a better me.